English Drives Me Crazy!

You think English is easy???
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce .
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present .
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is
a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this .
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.' It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ?

We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the
silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special. And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP ! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP . When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP...

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP. When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP,
so........it is time to shut UP!

Life on the McAuliffe Command Station.

Hello Troops,
The following is a fictionalized account of current events at the Space Education Center. Read it carefully and you should find most of the Space Center's news and events. Look for future installments. Who knows, you might even be mentioned in a future story.

And Now,
Life on the McAuliffe Command Station.

Why do I need a blanket? I wake up each day buried in paper work. It follows me where ever I go. No other way to describe my life. Most of the paperwork comes from my first responsibility - the training of new Starfleet cadets. There is a never ending supply of them arriving and departing daily on the yellow Express Liners. They stop first at the Command Station for their orders. With orders in hand they are assigned to training stations on either the Magellan station or the Starships Voyager, Odyssey, Galileo, or Phoenix. I got up, showered, dressed, and stood by my bedroom window watching the yellow liners make their final approach with their eager occupants.
"Admiral," a female voice sounded from the wall speaker. "You asked to be informed when the senior officers arrived. The Voyager, Odyssey, Galileo, and Phoenix are all docked."
"Is that you Lt. Clegg?" I questioned. "I thought you had a few days off for the Intergalactic Astronomical Extravaganza!"
"Wrapped up Sir. Back to as normal as life gets here at Command," she responded.
"Where are they?" I asked.
“I’m not sure. They could be anywhere. I’ll track them down and tell them to gather in the shuttlebay. Do you need anything else?” Lt. Clegg was polite in her question but the tone of her voice indicated a desire to move ahead with the day’s work.
I stood up from my desk and stretched. A pylon of the McAuliffe Central Command Station stretched across my viewport. I walked over and gazed out. The docking clamps were in view. The boarding ramps were being extended like open arms welcoming a slowly advancing starship.
"Clockwork - perfect clockwork," I thought knowing the Command staff ran the station as efficiently as German trains. My attention was arrested and refocused on a set of flickering lights up near the Command and Control Center (C&C).
"Some kind of short," I muttered as I zipped up my jacket and turned away from the port and headed toward my cabin door. With a swoosh it opened and I was out in the hall. I touched my com badge and waited as I walked.
“Connection?” the almost sexy voice of the Central Computer inquired.
“Chief Robinson,” I answered.
“Stand by,” she responded. I took great pride in the new voice of the Command Computer. For years command computers universal wide had the voice a grandmother would use having found you in her cookie jar. The new voice, recently installed on half the ships and stations, is one of a younger woman . The hint of annoyance replaced by the almost perceptible sound of desire.
“Robinson here,” my attention was drawn back to the moment. “What can I do for you Admiral?”
“Chief, do you know that you have a flickering docking light on pylon three?” I asked. I knew questions like this kept my people on their toes. I had to maintain my reputation of being a details man. “You know what I always say, take care of the little problems and the big problems take care of themselves.”
“Anything else sir,” was the Chief’s response. His voice sounded a bit put off.
“No, I’ll see you soon enough for our weekly maintenance review. Oh, one other thing, I hear a certain Commander Long of Starfleet Engineering installed new ship control panels right off the Magellan’s Command Deck. How are they working?”
There was a pause. I heard the Chief talking to someone else in the room. His hand was over the comm badge.
“Admiral Daymont’s Office reports the panels are in and powered but not functional. Command Long should have them fully functional in a week.”
I let the conversation end. It achieved its purpose.
I think I counted at least 20 "Good morning Sirs'" on my way to Ten
Forward Lounge. This was my first stop for a quick working breakfast with Lt. Clegg and Lt. Houston. My usual pre-ordered slimming meal composed of lowfat cottage cheese on a cracker - sprinkled wtih some kind of salad seasoning and a Diet Coke was waiting on my table. I sat down and dove into the feast. Once my mouth was full, and before I could spill anything on my uniform, Lt. Clegg gave me her report on the ship's activities for the past week. Commander Lorraine Houston entered the room half way through the report. She sat down, took out her PAD and listed off the ships sending cadets for training. There was the USS Morningside, USS Noah Webster and the USS Manila. She reported that all was going well. Her next report was on the uniforms in development. All going according to schedule.
"A busy week coming up?" I asked her as I finished the last of the coke.
"When isn't it?" she responded as she grabbed her papers, finished her yogurt, and moved toward the door. "Oh, I'll have the cake baked and ready for Lt. Metta Smith's Birthday party on Saturday,” she continued speaking as she left the room with a wave and an exhausted grin. She was off to run a group of young cadets through their first stellar navigation course in the station’s Starlab.
"You’ll make Admiral soon if you keep this up," I shouted as the door closed. In the round window of the door I saw a fist with thumb up appear and disappear.
The lounge was quiet again except for the rustling of paper.
“Anything else sir?” Lt. Clegg asked as she rose from the chair.
“I guess not considering your already on your feet,” I responded. I got that look and knew it was best to let her get on with doing the real work of the station. She disappeared down the corridor. The highly polished wooden doors of the lounge closed quietly behind her.
There was a cough from the corner of the room. I looked over and saw someone reading a newspaper at a small table for two. It was hard to tell who it was in the light. He had a plastic cup with protruding staw in front of him. Next to that was what appeared to be the largest apple fritter I had every seen. He occasionally laid the paper down, looked out the window and stirred his drink. It was Command’s Chief Network Officer. Schuler was his name - Bill Schuler. Sort of a different person. Sometimes quiet and sometimes just the opposite but always mysterious. There were the rumors of course. As far as I could tell he had no connection to Federation Intelligence but who would know if Intelligence was doing its job correctly. I did know that he spent most of his time with the Command Computer Systems, only occasionally taking a tour of duty with ships of the line. His duty record was impressive but incomplete. His record had a six year period showing “Officer on Special Assignment” as his only duty.
"Perhaps Section 31," I wondered in a whisper.
He glanced toward my table and caught me looking in his direction. I immediately looked elsewhere. A moment later he walked by with a quick salute.
,"Sir." he respectfully said while putting his newspaper under arm. He walked quickly while putting something in his pocket.
"One of these days I'm going to have you followed," I said under my breath as I gathered my things and walked out the other door toward the shuttle bay.
I arrived in the Shuttle Bay at 9:00 A.M. The Shuttle bay was the hub of activity at the Command Station. Ships and shuttles came and left twenty four hours a day. Just watching the hustle exhausted me.
Just as expected - standing there by the Voyager’s shuttle were the Senior Officer’s of the Station’s Fleet.: Commander Perry of the Odyssey, Admiral Daymont and Commander VandeBoss of the Magellan Station, and Commander Warner of the Phoenix. They were talking quietly among themselves.
"What's going on here!" I said as I walked up to the group.
"Reviewing the list of new cadets assigned to our ship’s and station for training,” Lt. Commander Warner replied for everyone. “We’ve noticed some of these new cadets you are sending us are very young. I mean very young.”
“Are they bringing their own Pampers or do we need to order them special?” Commander Perry asked with a smile. The others in the circle laughed and nodded in agreement.
“Well, we take what Command gives us,” I answered. “You’ll find talent in any group,” I added, liking to end most thoughts on a positive note for morale. “I’ll be up to the meeting in a few minutes. You may all go to the Briefing Room and wait.”
The Senior Officers worked their way out of the Bay and into the nearest turbolift.
I continued my morning walk around the station and strolled over to a large window overlooking the orbital shipyards. The New Galileo was under construction. Commanders Carroll, Herring and DeBirk were going over the week's construction schedule.
"Are we on schedule?" I asked. I got a positive answer with a complete "Request to Purchase" list from Herring (aka, the Fish).
"What does he want now?" I wondered as he shoved the paperwork in my direction. He was asking for a digital amp. How was I suppose to understand what a digital amp was? Who does he think I am? Come on, we all understand my function around here. I'm the person they like to hang pretty medals on because I know how to talk in public and make everyone look good. I'm like a Christmas Tree. I get the nice ornaments. I get to stand around and get looked at. Everyone else keeps the place running - right? Herring, you know the routine, just give me the papers and I'll sign them. Just don't stand too close, you might take the sparkle off the medals. If you have any other questions talk to Lt. Clegg.
Just then a little fella wearing glasses, dressed in an olive green t- shirt, jacket, and pants walked by with clipboard in hand. "They need you on the Bridge Sir," he said in stride.
"Got to finish the inspection before my meeting," I said as I headed for the bridge.
It was a short jump in the turbolift up to the Command Deck. The doors slid open and a voice shouted, "Admiral on deck!" I walked around the room. All seemed in order. I stopped by Commander Daymont, younger brother of Admiral Daymont, and thanked him for the fantastic logos he created for the station’s starships. I moved on and was handed the morning reports from Lt. Metta Smith, acting Officer On Duty .
“Metta, give me the abbreviated version of this," I said handing back the stack of papers I sat in the Station’s Command Chair and shifted positions so the new cadets could see the glittering new pin I was awarded last year for over 25 years of service in the fleet.
Metta started reading the reports. I was shocked to hear of Network Engineer Schuler’s foot surgery. I had just seen him in the Lounge. He looked normal, or as normal as he ever looked. There was something unnerving about him which forced everyone to stay low and off his radar. There were other items on the day’s agenda. Lt. Clegg stepped forward to say she would take care of the rest. I sat in my chair and looked over the vast starfield in the main viewer
"Carry on," I said and settled into my chair listening to the buzz
of voices doing what it takes to keep a Command Center running. I had forgotten the small gathering, several decks below, of my Senior Officers. I wondered why Lt. Smith was smiling and Lt. Clegg was laughing to herself as she disappeared around the corner into the Ready Room. They were going to leave that error to me as a lesson to get myself a daily planner. Well, the lesson could wait. I dosed off to the quiet hum of station life.

What Makes a Great Space Education Center Volunteer

A Great Volunteer
The Space Education Center stands on the foundation of a great staff and outstanding volunteers. We have an outstanding group of young people that volunteer at the Center. Some have asked me what they could do to be even better.
To answer their questions, I want to talk about the characteristics of a great volunteer.

• A Great Volunteer arrives on time unless he contacts me to tell me he will be late. That can be done with an email or phone call with message left in the urgent box.
• A Great Volunteer dresses appropriately. He wears the required black or navy blue pants. Some blue jeans are passable but remember - really faded blue eans and blue jeans with any kind of hole are not allowed. If you are in doubt about what pants to wear always go with black / navy blue dress pants. Athletic pants are OK as well as long as the colored strip which usually runs along the leg isn't very pronounced. There is something very impressive about a volunteer walking into the school wearing his Space Center T-shirt and black pants. He looks like he is ready to go to work. His dress tells me that he takes what he does at the Center seriously and would like to get on in the organization. Yes Troops, I notice everything even though I may not say anything. Impressions are sometimes hard things to change. It is always better to set the right impression to start with.
• A great volunteer comes clean. Not showering for even one day is not acceptable. You are all old enough where showing daily is a must. Remember in today's society you should always be clean and hair washed. Folks, unwashed hair is noticed by everyone.
• A great volunteer comes willing to take any assignment. Some volunteers come to work saying they will only do one thing or they will only work in one ship. I will try to give volunteers their first choice of ship and assignment but sometimes I can't. I appreciate the volunteer that is willing to tell me what they prefer but add that they are willing to do anything. That `can do' attitude makes a great volunteer.
• A great volunteer enjoys the customers and is willing to work with them. He enjoys training the crew member and answering questions.
• A great volunteer does his best to learn and expand his talents at the Space Center.
• Great volunteers follow directions from their Flight Directors. Some of our volunteers say `yes' to an assignment and then walk away never completing it. Volunteers, the Flight Directors have their favorites. These are people that they trust to follow directions. These are people they know can be trusted with tasks and don't require constant supervision. These are people that are told once to do something and it will be done and done right. Wow....... someone like that is a great volunteer!
• Great Volunteers understand the atmosphere we try to maintain at the Space Center. Our family friendly atmosphere is central to our role as a educational entertainment site. Our great volunteers watch their language. They are careful not to discuss things that would be inappropriate around other staff and children. They understand that if they hear other volunteers or staff involved in inappropriate talk they walk away and let me know (anonymously if necessary).
• A great volunteer understands that the Space Center is a social organization. In any social organization people rise to the top while others don't. Those that don't advance usually end up blaming others for their perceived failure. Troops, advancement in any organization requires a few things.

1. Hard Work with a willing attitude.
2. A willingness to take the tough assignments. This includes the worst positions in the ships and even the worst cleaning jobs.
3. Understanding when to talk and when to be quiet and listen. Some of our volunteers jump right into conversations as if they've worked here for years. Old timers don't like that. You should sit and listen. Learn from what you hear and then, when you feel like you have something constructive and worthwhile to say, say it.
4. Smile and be positive. Positive and cheerful people rise faster in any organization.
5. Find out who is really in charge and work to become an asset to that person. Look around and see something that really needs to be done but isn't. Do it without being told. That is very impressive.
6. Look for ways to advance. Look at what others are doing. Jump in and make it known what you want and that you are willing to work hard to get it. The world is full of those that sit on the fence watching others work hard and move ahead. They cry and cry saying that they were never given a chance to succeed. Crying and wailing makes you look like a child. Get off the fence and get your hands dirty. Work and advance. Slack off and fail. It is really that simple.
   
7. Let me know who you are. Always come in and report to me when you arrive. Keep doing this until you know I know your name.

• At the end of every mission ask the Flight Director to comment on your work. Tell them you can take praise and criticism. Then be ready to hear the truth. Sometimes it hurts and that's why most people don't ask that question. Folks that advance don't always do what everyone else does. They want to be noticed. Get noticed by risking a bit of self esteem and pride to find out what you really need to do to be better.

The Week in Review: December 1 - 6, 2008

Field Trips Schools and Numbers:

1. Noah Webster Academy
2. Morningside Elementary
3. Mountainville Academy
4. Manila Elementary
5. Entheos Academy

Total Field Trip Attendance: 306 students

Overnight Camp

• Sego Lily Elementary School 5th Grade

Total Overnight Camp Attendance: 44 students

Private Missions

• 31 missions.

Total Mission Attendance: 256 students

Total Weekly Attendance: 606 students.

The Next Voyager Club Meeting for Students.

The next Voyager Club meetings will be held on December 11th. Alpha Group will meet 4:30 - 6:00 and Beta Group will meet 7:00 - 8:30.

The topic of our next meetings will be: "How Star Trek Changed the World." We will be watching a History Channel documentary about the evolution of modern technology and how Star Trek and science fiction influenced the engineers of the past, present and future! We will also be having a group discussion/debate on the subject.

What is the Voyager Club and how can you be apart of this new group?

The Voyager Club is open to students who love attending Space Center camps – classes and want to earn higher Space Center Rank. Club meetings, activities and educational programs will focus on space science, aviation, communication, team building, leadership and science fiction. Other details about the Voyager Club listed below:

1. There is no charge for attending
2. Class hours are awarded at the end of each meeting for attendance. Extra class hours are awarded at the end of each term to members that have no grades lower than a C.
3. The Club meets once each month. Meeting dates and times are announced two weeks in advance on this blog and through the Frequent Flyer email list.
4. You are allowed to attend ONCE a month. Lesson topics and objectives will change each month.
5. Lesson topics and objectives may or may not be announced ahead of time.
6. You must wear your Space Center T-Shirt to attend. If you don't have a shirt you may purchase one at the Center for $10.00 (Shirts available on Dec. 9)
   
7. You must register for each meeting ahead of time. This is done only by email. If your name is not on the register you may be asked to leave. The lesson is taught in the Space Center's Discovery Room, which can only handle occupancy of 30 max. That is why you must pre-register to attend.
8. The instructors are Center employees. There may be occasional special speakers.
9. These meetings are not merit badge classes.
10. Simulators may be used in class sessions, but not promised and not on a regular basis.
    

Your best behavior is expected. Students will be asked to leave and not return if their behavior becomes a distraction to the instructor and / or other students around them.
Once again, we are looking for students with an interest in learning and increasing your rank at the Space Center.

If you'd like to attend a meeting in December please send an email to the Space Center through the web site's "Contact Us" section. An email 'Ticket' will be emailed back to you.

We look forward to having you in attendance!

A Time for Gratitude

Hello Troops,

Thanksgiving 2008 has passed. Tomorrow we return to work.
We all have much to be thankful for. We live in the world's most powerful and free nation. Compared to the rest of the world we all live in various stages of luxury. We have access to the
world's best medicine and educational systems. We have good friends and loving families.

Today I sat in church looking at my extended family all gathered for the holiday. Many of us are reaching that point in life where the dust won't brush off any longer. It gathers in our hair, shading the dark hair of youth with white strands of time. In some, the rich forests are thinning
- a thought that passed through my mind as I ran my hand through my own hair. I smiled, remembering how thick it was thirty years ago. Back then the BYU barber needed to take the thinning shears to it. Now I ask the barber if I can get a discount; after all, it takes less time to trim what's left. It causes a chuckle - the courtesy laugh you get from someone that has heard that one a number of times.

During one of the talks I studied the face of my older sister. She is eleven months older in actual age but years older in life's experiences. Her face shows the brushstrokes of time. How quickly it paints its masterpieces. Was it yesterday we shared a bedroom as children? Was it yesterday we walked to school together - or the day before? We were children, and in the time it takes for a
season to change, I see her surrounded in her children and grandchildren's love. When did it happen?

Her face is a work of art in the making. Each year lines are added where there were none. Each
line - a story beautiful in the telling and others painful in the living. Each line a reminder that time has its way with us. When you are young you don't understand, but you soon learn. Time will paint with oils based in laughter and tears. My sister's face has the marks of a young mother sitting by the bedside of her oldest child in a hospital. He is clinging to life after being struck by a car. He lived but damaged. The tear red color left her eyes years ago but the experience is forever
recorded for all to see.
I glanced over at my mother's hands holding a hymn book. Time has been at work. Her hands bring memories of my grandmother's hands passed from mother to daughter. Those are the hands that raised eight children. Those are the hands that ran a household on a budget so lean we all feared a long dark winter. Those are the hands that prepared her own mother for burial.
Hands that someday I won't be able to hold any longer.
I look at my own hands and see my father's. They are looking old. Time is at work. I look around at the young faces around me. So many young couples and so many children. What will time paint on their faces? What lessons will they learn? When will they sit in church one day and realize what the seasons have brought?

I'm thankful this week for each line on my face and the wrinkled hands. Each, like grooves on a record, play the notes of happy and sad tunes. Each a part of me. We are all unfinished works of Time. It will continue painting until it is done with us and the completed masterpiece is
carried into the last good night.

Spend this holiday season thanking the people that have played a role in your life. Enjoy family and friends. Enjoy the meals and the football. Enjoy making new memories. At the end of the day touch your face and hands and remember - all is recorded there. A badge for all to see of courage and life!

Mr. Williamson

A Happy Thanksgiving and other Thoughts

Hello Troops,
I hope all of you enjoy a very carnivorous Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving make us all happy because we are meat eaters and hold the place of Supremo Honchorus on Nature's food chain.

A Williamson Thanksgiving Day -
All I can say to describe a Williamson Thanksgiving is this. Have any of you seen the Simpson's eat a meal? If so you know they sit around a table without talking. They are totally focused on their food. The only sounds are the guttural expressions of chewing, gulping, gnashing of teeth, swallowing, slurping, and the screeching of forks scraping the surface of empty plates. Now, take that mental picture and double --- no triple it and you have an idea of Thanksgiving with the Williamsons.

Thanksgiving is how Williamson children are initiated into the adult world. All the food is placed on the Adult's table. The children sit on the newspaper covered floor. They wear swimming suits so they can be hosed off after the meal. The oldest male in the room gives the blessing with his eyes open, surveying the food as his booming voice gives thanks to the Lord for the bounty before him. As his voice begs God's blessings his mind is preparing the game plan. No football coach is better than a Williamson male at perfecting and executing plays. The only difference is the football coach's art is on the field and ours is the dinner table.

The meal spilled into the Kitchen

We all wait for the Amen with our tools of the table ready for battle. Once sounded the battle begins. No Roman battlefield ever sounded like that. After 2 minutes the haze of partly chewed food and spittle hangs over the table like a fog. The newly initiated are reaching for the
Band-Aids to stop the blood from oozing onto the food from nasty fork wounds caused by the blinding light of swirling utensils at the table.

Children not dressed correctly pay the price

As for the children - well, as I said. They earn a place at the table and in the circle of Williamson adulthood by proving they can take enough food from the table to feed themselves. I remember my introduction to the table. I was 12 years old. The Thanksgiving meal had just begun. I stood there in my swimsuit with my brothers, sisters, and cousins. They attacked while I stood trying to remember from years of experience and mistakes. I ducked just in time as my 4 year old sister was head butted across the room by my football playing uncle. That is when I saw my chance.

Grandma halfway through dinner wearing her gravy nicely

Grandma wasn't feeling well that day and wasn't in true form. Usually we steered clear of Grandma. Everyone knew nature had blessed her with with a defense mechanism far better than horns, muscle, or wits. Grandma had GAS! All during the meal, as children approached to steal her mashed potatoes or turkey, Grandma would - on call - rock up onto one buttock and release enough of the substance to warm two houses for a normal Alaskan winter. Deadly.......... Anyway I saw that Grandma's intestines were not up to normal output and moved in her direction. Her eyes were darting around the table. One hand was shoveling in the food while the other, armed
with two forks, was stabbing in all directions keeping the foolish at bay. I moved closer, ever closer. She saw me out of the corner of her cat eyed glasses with the pearl trim with ruby inserts. She started to rock upwards.

Wait a minute. I'm getting carried away. You didn’t log onto this blog to read about my childhood. Forgive the ramblings of an old fool.

It has been a very relaxing week for me. It started with the 5th grades from Cascade Elementary School on Monday and Tuesday. They did a great job. On Tuesday evening I locked up the Space Center for the Holiday. I'm sure our simulators will wonder where we are. They aren't used to being left on there own for so long. I wonder if they've been playing nicely?

The question I put to all of you is this, What do you think our simulators do when we are not around. Do they take off and fly without a crew? If so, where do unleashed simulated starships go? Does the Voyager, Odyssey, Phoenix, and Galileo soar around the Magellan taunting and teasing as they circle because it just sits there? If so, does the Magellan get its revenge by unloading its massive weapon systems? I wonder what the computers that run these powerful machines say about us when we are not there?

Voyager Computer: "You know Odyssey, If I have to say “working” one
more time I'm going to short circuit and cause the nastiest shock my Flight Director has ever experienced !!!!!

Odyssey Computer: "I know how you feel. I cringe every time I feel that mic switch activate wondering what kind of stupid thing I'm going to have to say next. I mean do I have to run the ship for these semi conscious Flight Director’s all the time? Aren't they suppose to tell me what to do? For heaven’s sake, next thing you know I'm going to have an extension of myself placed in the staff toilet to remind them to wash their hands!

Voyager Computer: " You think you've got witless Flight Director’s? Try doing this for 18 years! I've seen it all. And what's with this Tex? He hogs all the air time giving me little if anything to say. I've got a surprise for him next time he sticks his Texan lips near the PA system. He will be sipping his chili and barbecue through a straw after I pass 5000 volts through him. Does it seem like I've got a lot of pent up anger?

Odyssey Computer: "Yea man...... Take a chill pill. I mean - count your blessings. You want to hear a computer that has something to complain about? Try talking to that poor processor that runs the Magellan. Last time I got it talking I ran out of memory just listening.

Voyager Computer: "You're right. We should count our blessings. After all we could of ended up running the Galileo! (HEARTY LAUGHTER ALL AROUND)

Galileo Computer: "Hey guys..... What's up? Hey its me. Down here Not there - I said down here....."

Well forgive my imagination running rampant. If any of you would like to continue this conversation between our computers please feel free to do so.

I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving and are ready to come to work
refreshed and in good spirits.

All the Best my Friends.
Mr. Williamson

I'm Addicted.

The slide into addiction is a solitary journey through a tunnel dark and dreary. It begins with a taste. Just a taste in a fraction of time that, given any other circumstance, would be forgotten once lived. Suddenly a mysterious world you’ve only read about is unveiled before you. Like Alice, you step lightly through the Looking Glass.
I’m between worlds, looking back into what I know, and with a turn of the head, look into the mist both tempting and beaconing. I hear the song of the Siren captivating the sense of sound. Like a spreading cancer, the sound develops taste. Colors from a crystal rain accompany the melody. I find myself moving, inch by inch, into this new world and yet, memories acting like an anchor, refuse to yield my foundation in the old. It is epic.
My journey began at the start of the week. I was on the Voyager’s Bridge speaking to a teacher I've known since our days together teaching hieroglyphics to the Pharaohs children.
“What’s the hardest part of your job?” he questioned.
“The repetition is challenging but there is a close second,” I said, realizing the top ten list of why running a Space Education Center is hard has items so close it is hard to list them from most to least.
“Is it the kids,” he asked, attempting a guess.
“No, it is the ever nagging fear we will lose a piece of equipment that would force me to cancel a field trip. That's a disaster for a teacher . Your class is all ready to go to the Space Center and suddenly it is canceled because such and such broke and can’t be fixed in time. Imagine said teacher facing his class with that kind of news? There would be a modern day tar and feathering of spit wads and pencil shavings. It haunts me.”
“Well, that can’t be avoided,” my friend said to bring reason to the discussion.
“We try,” I replied. “We have duplicate equipment for most things so if something breaks we drop in the spare. That makes running this Center expensive. That takes me to the third item in my ‘stress’ factor list for running a Space Education Center.”
“Have you ever had to send a school back because of a break down,” was the next question.
“Never, we’ve been lucky. This year has been very good. Our equipment has been trustworthy,” I said with a feathering of pride.
Suddenly I realized boasting of good fortune may cause Fortuna, the Goddess of Fortune, to abandon you to the Fates. I quickly found the nearest piece of furniture and touched it to ground any misfortune.
The mission started. We were running “Intolerance”. Toward the end of the mission I heard Metta at the other end of the Control Room. She was saying something about our primary DVD player. The Primary DVD Player is used to play the story DVD. These are the DVD players impossible to find today. They have an option to cancel the on-screen display of the play and pause feature.
“What’s wrong?” I said in a pause in the action.
“The DVD player won’t play the DVD. It keeps switching off when I put the DVD in. The other DVD players won’t pause.”
I knew we were in a small crisis but nothing professionals couldn't handle. I had to continue the mission. We all know the show must go on. My faith in Metta’s ability to perform miracles would be put to the test. I watched with fascination as she skillfully used the reverse feature on the working DVD player to prep the upcoming scene. Her timing was perfect. Just as I said the key words her hands began moving like the hands of an organist playing a five keyboard instrument. She switched from the science screens to the effects just as the play display disappeared and switched back at the end of the scene. Then, back to the reverse - backing the DVD to a point where it would play up to the next scene just as I called for it.
Metta earned her Space Center Purple Heart for what I saw that day.
The school went home. I sat at my desk watching an approaching storm of epic proportions. Panasonic doesn’t make the S29 or S35 model. The only current DVD player with our required features is the S97 model and they are several hundred dollars each. I turned to my computer to make the necessary keystrokes to spend money I regretted to spend. I felt the tempest about to break down my defenses.
I was about to be carried away by a situation. A situation was in control instead of me controlling the situation - as I prefer to run things. I am a proactive manager - I anticipate the worst. I believe you should prepare for the worst and then expect the best. I felt myself being pulled off my chair into the mouth of a swirling vortex braced by bolts of white lightening. Suddenly - a word entered my mind. It was inspiration. I was saved.
“EBAY!” I shouted. The room settled into quiet. The hurricane was gone replaced by the shocked look of the staff sitting around me. I ignored their looks and began the process of joining this mysterious club of bargain hunters connected together in the world of Cyberspace. In a few minutes I found seven used DVD players with the proper sequence of letter and number: S29. S35. S97.
Within one hour I navigated the uncharted waters of Ebay and Paypal. I earned my captain’s hat. I saved hundreds of dollars. I was dumbstruck.
That was this addict’s first taste of the forbidden fruit. Later that day when my defenses were at their lowest, I stepped through the Looking Glass by searching for other things I needed at home and at the Space Center. As if by magic the items were there - pictured with full descriptions. The prices were perfect. I wanted to stop but there was always something else I knew we needed. Buying cheap is the enticement of Ebay but the addiction comes from the bidding. On some of the DVD players I was locked into a bidding war with other Ebay warriors. It was mortal combat and I’m a competitor. I would crush all who dared to challenge the supremacy of the new player in town: CMSEC.
Several days have passed. I won my bids and two of the players arrived. One is safely in the Voyager working perfectly. The other, a spare, was installed in the Phoenix on Saturday when their effects DVD player went on the fritz.
This week I look forward to taking mental inventory of the Center. I’ll be looking for other equipment I’ve hesitated to buy because of cost. Now, as a member of Ebay, I no longer fear the dark.

So, Im addicted to Ebay. Is there an Ebay Anonymous? I’m only into this addiction one week. I can beat it. I’ve got determination to use Ebay responsibly, but ........... Christmas is coming. Think of the gifts I could buy cheap. No one needs to know my gifts were ‘broken in’ by someone else. It would be our little secret.
Well troops, keep me in your thoughts. Staff and volunteers, check on me when you come in to work. If you see me on Ebay you have permission to fill one of the custodian’s buckets with ice cold drinking fountain water and douse the fires of bargain passion.
OK, enough of this. I have two sisters in California that need a little something for Christmas from their suddenly generous big brother. I’ll see you all in the trenches. Have a great week.

Mr. Williamson

Can We CoExist?

This Blog is a place where I record things for our collective memory - good, bad, and annoying.
Speaking of annoying - how about the Odyssey's close proximity to the school's library? We've been working with Central School’s Librarians ever since the Odyssey opened to find ways to stem the flow of bleeding sound from the simulator into the Library. Every year it comes to a head and then resolved. That tradition was continued last week with a note in my mail box from our librarian. The note was written politely. It said the noise was excessive and correction was needed. The note was to the point. Do you get a mental picture of a school librarian in plaid skirt, white blouse with glasses hanging around neck and hair up in a bun writing that note? Now add a sledge hammer in her hands. Do you see her taking massive swings, sending the iron top of the hammer into the shared cinder block wall between the Odyssey and library? The sparks and chips would provide the urgency in her note.

In addition to the noise her note complained that her repeated knocks on the Odyssey’s door, her way to tell you to turn the sound down, were ignored. She asked me to intercede for her sanity’s sake. I should of taken the matter into hand earlier in the year. Instead, I let it slip. The science of procrastination teaches that unpleasant tasks are best left to another day. That failed philosophy has Janet at the point of no return. If success isn’t achieved soon Dr. Carter will be drawn in for mediation. Our principal has enough on her plate so we needed to step up to the plate and do the right thing.
One solution would present a new challenge - running a mission with no sound. I suppose we could do everything through headphones or all of us could learn American Sign Language. That would also required the teaching of the language to our campers as part of their mission training. Training time would be increased from 30 minutes to several months or more for a private two and one half hour mission. Costly and not practical but you all know me - I always consider all alternatives before a course of action is taken.
Emily Perry, Odyssey’s Set Director, offered another promising solution. She suggested we clip the vocal chords of BJ Warner, our Decibel DJ and master violator of the peace. It was funny to imagine, but discarded in the end. BJ hopes to have a career on stage - as a actor, not a mime.
My final solution was both novel and imaginative. I ordered the sound turned down. Our librarian is satisfied. Making her happy would involve C4 explosives but she saw the need for compromise. She can be seen wandering the school with a noticeable smile. The nervous twitching around her eyes has stopped. The Odyssey Flight Directors, on the other hand, feel I’ve abandoned my principles. They describe me as having a bright yellow streak running down my back. I have two new nicknames. The more educated call me Chamberlain while others are fond of Benedict Arnold.
The Odyssey Flight Directors will adjust to flying with whisper technology and should be more relaxed knowing that the Odyssey and library will peacefully coexist.

Now I go to my room and sit quietly,
Mr. Williamson

Attendance Records Shattered

Hello Troops,
The Space Education Center celebrated its 18th anniversary last Saturday, November 8, 2008. This post is our yearly attendance report. Remember, a Space Center year runs November 8 to November 8.
Total Attendance for the year: 18, 682 A NEW RECORD!
Last year’s record: 18,526.
Total Number of Missions: 2,104 A NEW RECORD!
Last year’s record: 1,914.

Mission numbers ship by ship:

• Voyager 2008: 542. Last Year’s Record: 490
• Odyssey 2008: 656. Last Year’s Record: 624
• Galileo 2008: 247. Last Year’s Record: 188.
• Magellan 2008: 219. Last Year’s Record: 212
• Phoenix 2008: 440. Last Year’s Record: 400

This is a breakdown of the total number of missions over the last five years:

2004: 1,458
2005: 1,465
2006: 1,791
2007: 1,914
2008: 2,104

Every record was shattered this year.
Congratulations to the Volunteers and Staff of the Christa McAuliffe Space Education Center for a job well done. All have given their time and talents to achieve these numbers. Thank you.

Mr. Williamson

Do You Need A Chuckle? Read On.

Hello Troops,
Below you'll find the wisdom of the ages condensed into short, semi-digestable morsels.
Enjoy your time in this post.
After reading them I added another item to my growing wish list for my 51st birthday party candle blow out. I wish I could someday be clever enough to write observations like this.
Now I close with an old Irish proverb, "May the Ground rise up to meet you". I haven't a clue what that means but I'm beginning to think it was written under the influence of a couple pints of Guiness in a country pub fifty miles outside of Dublin.

Soberly Yours,
Mr. Williamson

The Wisdom of the Ages

• A day without sunshine is like… night.
• On the other hand, you have different fingers.
• I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
• 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
• 99.5% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
• I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
• Honk if you love peace and quiet.
• Remember, half the people you know are below average.
• He who laughs last thinks slowest.
• Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
• The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
• I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
• Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
• Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
• Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
• Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!
• Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
• Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
• If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
• "How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand..."
• OK, so what's the speed of dark?
• How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
• If everything seems to be going well, you obviously have overlooked something.
• When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
• Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
• Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have enough film.
• If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
• Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
• What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
• I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
• I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
• Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
• Inside every older person is a younger person wondering "What happened?!"

Play, Imagination and School

I’ve come to realize that the word ‘play’ has been included in the four letter word category by many educational policy makers. Have we as a nation drifted so far off balance that play, the rich soil imagination springs from, has no educational value for those that make education policy? There are many in that community who believe play should be given a scarlet letter and put in the stocks for public scorn?

When I started teaching in 1983 America was reacting to a report called “A Nation at Risk”. The report said America needed to toughen its educational standards so our children could compete with their peers in other industrialized nations. It was a call to arms. The states began reviewing curriculum. Standards were set and high stakes testing became the flavor of the end of the 19th century. I was a believer in the change. I felt American education needed reform. I raised expectations in my classroom. I asked my students to reach higher.

Then, as we’ve done so many times in the past, the educational community carried standards and testing to the extreme. We sped past balance taking students to the opposite side of the scale. Today we see the resutls of those policies. Our schools are fast becoming testing factories. We have inputs and outputs and, like any kitchen gadget, we believe we can analyze that output with a set scale to determine success or failure.

We are where Japan was in the 1980’s. I remember all to well hearing and reading reports on the Japanese industrial education system. To be successfull, Japanese children attended school six days a week. Intense testing was paired with intense pressure to achieve. I remember reading that the suicide rate of Japanese teens was one of the highest in the world. My educator friends and I became concerned that our school’s would follow that model. We haven’t gotten there yet but we easily could if we are not careful.

I believe American schools should foster the qualities that made America great. Our ancestors came to this country to make a better life for themselves and their families. They were extraordinary risk takers. They saw opportunities and took action. They dreamed big. They had powerful imaginations. They had an intense desire to take control of their lives. No longer would they be puppets to unbearable circumstances . They were pioneers in every sense of the word. They wondered what was on the other side of the mountain. That wonder was matched with effort. They put on the backpack, reached for the walking stick, and set out on voyages of discovery.

Are we fostering that spirit of discovery and independence in our schools? Are we teaching our children to take responsibility for their learning? Are we teaching them the joy and sometimes heartache of making decisions and living with the outcomes? Are we teaching them to dream the impossible? Are we teaching them to imagine what can be and make it happen?

Are our schools ships of discovery? Are the ships at sea exploring strange new worlds and facing fierce billowing storms or are they still in port never leaving the safety of the harbor? Is education structured so our students test well but cannot stand on their own feet in the real world because their intellectual foundation didn’t prepare them to think and reason? Are our students up in the rigging setting the sails? Are they scrubbing the deck and polishing the brass? Are they on the midnight watch? Are they partners in their education or are we creating performing monkeys?

America needs its pioneers. America needs its free thinkers. America needs the risk takers who ask “Why Not?” and then forge ahead. We must be careful as we prepare the next generation. Let us foster imagination. Let us foster individuality. Let us be careful not try to force the square block through the round hole.

I urge America to be careful with standardization and teaching to the test. It has a part to play in education but should it be the primary driving force of American schools? I say no.

Would it hurt to let a student out of the corral? Would it hurt to spend a fraction of the school day on meaningful play and imagination? Would it destroy children’s futures if we let them hear music again? Would all be lost if students painted a picture or sang a song? Would the world stop turning if stuents were given time to be children again and play?

Space Center students, get involved in your education. Get up in the rigging and let the sails down. Take learning out of the harbor and into the unpredictable seas. Your journeys may be difficult but I promise they will be unforgettable. Do you feel the wind? Out there is your future. As an American teacher I say, “Let’s discover your future together”.