It's Monday and If I'm Not Smiling Soon I'm Going Back to Bed!

Hello Troops,
It's Monday. That means we all need a few smiles to fuel our emotional gas tank for the start of the week. Here are a few. We start at the top with the perfect gift for the techno's in your family.

I thought this was clever. Why not make several of these and spread them around your school to spread a bit of holiday cheer. See how many tabs are left by the end of the day. Let me know.

Are you watching the news? Students in England are rioting over governmental budget cuts meaning they will have to spend a little more on their university educations. Banish the thought!

Wow, these people living in Europe's semisocialist nations that have been feed with the silver spoon of state welfare are in for the shock of their lives when they see what personal responsibility feels like. All I've got to say is "Man Up", get off the streets, get a job and stop expecting the government to do everything for you. (My soap box moment for the day. Forgive me).


Finally a gift for that 'special' clean freak in your life.

I've finally found a flag for that empty flag pole near the school's south entrance.
"Abandon all Hope All Ye Who Enter Here". After all, aren't we the headquarters of the dreaded Orion Pirates? Isn't Mad Dog seen here at least twice a week parading himself as a meek mild mannered employee of a school's district's technology department?

Have a Great Week and I'll see you in the Trenches.

Mr. W.

A Week's Worth of Thoughts and Sanitized Sabbath Humor.

Hello Troops,
A few comments for a Sunday and then I'll shut the computer down and unplug from the matrix.

We had a good week at the Center. Of course, working with the finest students in Utah both as volunteers / staff and as attendees is what makes it a joy to come to work every day. Here are a few news worthy items:

1. The Center's programmers, led by Guild Master Matt Long, known to us at the Center as The Ever Fearless Master of Computations, spent a few hours last night after we all went home from the Overnight Camp installing and testing the new Cocoa controls for the Galileo. We hope to have the new controls running for our patrons in January.
2. I instructed the Programmers to investigate the use of IPad's to replace the Voyager's Bridge computers. The Voyager is due for a computer upgrade at the end of this school year and I seem to be feeling a yearning for IPads instead of the Mac Mini's we were planning to use. Call it a hunch, but I'm thinking the coolness factor of the Voyager would skyrocket with new chairs with IPads installed in the armrests. What do you think?
3. Congratulations to Dave Daymont for taking the trophy for Best Overnight Mission. The weekly award goes to the ship and Flight Director that receives the highest evaluations from the campers as written in their post camp surveys.
4. Emily Paxman was awarded the Plural Person of the Week Award at the Post Overnight Camp Meeting on Saturday. This highly coveted award goes to the person or persons classified as 'Plural' by our campers in their post camp surveys. One camper wrote of Emily, "Emily gets my first place vote. They were fantastic!". Emily, Emily and Emily all voiced appreciation for this young camper's nomination. They were proud to accept the honor.

The Quote of the Week

Our quote of the week goes to Alex Anderson, Set Director of the Phoenix.

Alex: "Mason, you almost got your Phoenix 2nd Chair Pass. There was one thing you didn't do that you need to do to get a pass.
Mason: "What?"
Alex: "This is going to sound a bit strange but I'll say it anyway and then explain."

This conversation was so interesting I stopped what I was doing at my desk to listen in.

Alex: "You didn't read my mind and do what I wanted you to do during the mission."

Yes my friends, we expect everyone that volunteers at the Space Center to have super human powers. Secretly, we are hoping to attract only Jedi Knights but they are very few and have full agenda's, leaving very little time for volunteering at the Space Center.

In Alex's defense, he did elaborate and explain what he meant, and in a way, it all made some sense. But regardless, Alex gave us the quote of the week. Thanks Alex.

A Few Sunday Sanitized Chuckles


This picture is for all our volunteers and staff that recently took the ACT test this weekend. Its another one of those hoops one must jump through to move ahead in life. Call me old fashioned, but requiring students to demonstrate they actually learned something in school is a good thing.
I'm hoping you are all over the horror of the event and are recuperating well. Here's hoping all of you score well enough to get you where you want to go after high school. Warning, anyone found scoring below a 10 will be fired immediately. My worry isn't over your grades. My worry is your ability to walk, think and breath at the same time - all required to work at the Space Center.


OK, how cool is this? A sunset on Mars as the human eye would see it. Imagine an entire planet without one living thing on its surface to enjoy it. It's like Mars is challenging us to travel the ocean of space between us and conquer its harsh environment. Anyone out there think we are up to the challenge?

The good guys or the bad guys? Hmmmmm.......

And finally, I'd like to purchase several of these posters to put up and down the hallways of Central School. They will match that part of my Bridge Speech where I tell the children "You are always on camera. Big Brother IS watching you!"

Are we ready to get back into the trenches? Another week is starting and Ignorance is preparing another offensive.

Mr. Williamson

Ever Vigilant. Ever Ready!

I'm not sleeping. This unflattering photograph shows me mentally working on an equation to help Steven Hawking estimate the rate of a black hole's evaporation. I'm proud to say that I am one of the few math teachers that can do math in my head. I close my eyes to shut out unwanted distractions (as seen above). I always knew my pre-algebra would come in handy.

Hello Troops,
Ever Vigilant, Ever Ready. The True Soldier at his post at 12:16 A.M. There isn't a thing that gets by me when I'm on duty at Camp.

The younglings are in bed. One of Mrs. Houston's charges is sitting on the bench in the lobby waiting to go home. She's had enough. The trauma of sleeping away from home is too much. As you see, I've grown quite accustomed to it. Now do not be mistaken. I'm not really sleeping. I'm on duty. Ever Vigilant, Ever Ready is my creed.

OK, problem solved. Email to England sent and I wish all a Goodnight,
Mr. W.

It's Friday! Time for an Encounter of the Third Kind with the WalMartians.

Hello Troops,
It's nearly 6:30 A.M. and time to get ready for my weekly field trip to Wallyworld (Walmart) to spend the Space Center's hard earned money on edibles and consumables for tonight's Overnight Camp.

The Walmartians know me well after years of shopping every Friday morning. We have our own body language. For example, I walk up to the bakery counter and clear my throat. They see me. I wave. They wave back. I nod. They nod back. I blink 7 times, walk 6 circles around my cart and tap my head 15 times. They mirror my signals showing me they understand. I turn away from the bakery with a thumbs up and proceed to the bananas knowing my bakery friends know I'll required 7 dozen donuts at 6:15 A.M. Saturday morning.

Another example of how the WalMartians and I understand each other is when I get to the cashier for check out. I smile. She smiles back. I touch the side of my nose. She taps her forehead with her left index finger while using her right index finger to enter the school district's tax exempt number into the register. You see, its all done without one spoken word. The Walmartians know me and I know them and their peculiar ways.

How about a chuckle or two from the Children's Section of the Imaginarium Public Library.

"Once upon a time on a planet far away there lived a simple bounty hunter doing the best he could to scratch out a simple existence for himself and his clones....."

"No matter how many times he tried, Capt. Kirk could never master the Vulcan greeting, until one day on the rocky planet of Gilgone. There, while stranded after a failed expedition......"

"Apollo Bear and Starbuck Bear listened while Adama Bear explained the danger they were facing from their Cylon bear creations. Starbuck Bear chewed on her cigar while doing all she could to keep from exploding in anger over the loss of her planet and her favorite honey tree."

"Rabbit Paul Atreides stood in the silence of Arrakis' night. The shifting sand beneath his paws was the first indication a sandworm was present. He took several steps back and waited...."

Later I'll be wishing you all a good night from my desk at the Center after we put 45 kids down for the night.

Have a Good Day,

Mr. W.

A Wednesday.

Hello Troops,
Its Wednesday! Big groups today. We will crank up the Galileo and have double class sessions.

We had a great time with the kids from Bluffdale Elementary yesterday. Emily was overheard saying her captain in the Phoenix was so awesome she'd fly missions for him for free. Those of us who flight direct know how important it is to have a good captain to lead the crew.

A few things to get this Wednesday off to a good start.

I had to include this considering I teach one period of math everyday before the field trips arrive.

This made me smile. This store is where I'd like to buy my groceries. I'm thinking the store would be called something like "Edibles". Your thoughts?

And finally, a sobering thought. Look at the graph. Look how close we are to building computers with the same, if not greater, computing power than the human brain. Yes, Ghost in the Shell for sure. Will we reach a point in the next 50 years when start considering our powerful computers as new life forms?

Mr. W.

Dave Daymont. Winner of the Most Improved Flight Director Award for 2010

Hello Troops,
Congratulations Dave Daymont on winning the coveted and less recognized Most Improved Flight Director of the Year Award for 2010.

Dave is special in so many ways. Lovable, at a distance. Huggable (when smiling) and so approachable (except when he's eating. He has a tendency to think anyone coming too close is planning on taking his food. That brings out a side of Dave we don't like to see at the Space Center).

Be sure to congratulate Dave the next time you see him. Positive reinforcement is just what the Doctor ordered (literally. I consult with his therapist weekly).

Simply,
Mr. Williamson

Bracken Funk in the Shamgod Race.

Bracken, when he's not in class or in Utah running missions at the Space Center.

Hello Troops,
Bracken Funk is a Space Center Flight Director who is attending Fresno State. He plays on their basketball team. He is in the running for the Shamgod Race. Sound odd? I asked Bracken to send a defination.

The God Shamgod race is a race hosted by stormingthefloor.net, which is a large national sports blog, that takes names in college hoops that are interesting, and piles them together. Then, once the names have all been compiled, the stats of the players are taken, and the players are in a race to see which player in the country with the strangest name, has some amount of basketball skill. 50 players start at the beginning of the season, and throughout the season, players are dropped (those with the worst stats) until a winner is selected, the player who has the weirdest/strangest name (Shamgod), but has the best stats (God), thus, the God Shamgod race.

Please visit the Shamgod website to see Bracken move up in the rankings. Here are the latest standings:
http://www.stormingthefloor.net/2010/11/

Good luck Bracken!
The Space Center Staff.

Overnight Camp Friday. Off to Walmart

Hello Troops,
Its nearly 6:30 A.M. and time to get ready for school. Walmart will be my first stop of the day once I get the Battlestar shocked into life and warmed up. I'm not one who enjoys shopping but my Friday A.M. wander through WalMart is tolerable. I know exactly what I need and where its located, thus keeping my time in store to a minimum. I'm even on a first name basis with the ladies at the check out. They see me coming and automatically put in the school district's tax free number without my reminding them. That is what I all customer service!

The overnight staff look forward to my Friday Walmart safari. They know I'll be bringing back those nice "Everything on Them Rolls" they love so much. You should try them if you haven't already done so. They are delicious.

Tonight we will host 45 students from Sego Lily Elementary School. They are always great to work with.

Now, before I get ready, how about a few chuckles to properly start our Friday.

Guilty. Anyone Else?? Don't leave me hanging here.

OK, this is interesting. I'm wondering if the Defense Dept. has something to do with this. What's missing is the reverse portion of the sign. It reads, "Experiments underway. Buying cats. Will pay top dollar."

I've always wondered why schools and places of business (not to mention churches) don't have these installed next to the fire extinguishers. It just makes sense to me.

And what about home use? Just think, many of you have some kind of food storage in case of a societal meltdown and Armageddon. Well, what good is food storage if you don't have some way to protect yourself from the Zombies certainly to be afoot, fresh from the grave, searching for something tasting of human brain?

And finally. I've always believed the true path to Utopia and Nirvana would lead me to a place like this. It reminds me of my dream entrance to the Space Center. My dream entrance to the Center would look like a small, unassuming travel agency with one desk, brochures and posters of exotic places far away. No one would suspect that a secret government Space Center lurked inside.

A receptionist would greet the party and ask what tour or destination they were interested in visiting. To get into the hidden Space Center, the customer would had to say the 'secret word'. If correct, the receptionist would push a button. Automatic blinds would close, preventing anyone standing outside to see in. They would be invited to step into a large custodial closet. Once everyone was inside, the opposite wall would open, revealing the Center itself. Kind of like 'Men in Black'.

Have a Great Weekend!
Mr. W.

Possibilities for Alien Life

Hello Troops,
A bit of scientific news I found interesting about arsenic eating bacterium. This discovery means that life is more robust than previously thought. This means that life is capable of taking hold in more hostile environments.

My personal opinion, I believe life is abundant in the universe. I believe where ever we find liquid water we will also find life.

What an exciting time to be alive. We are lucky.

Mr. W.

And now the article.

Possibilities for Alien Life
By Henry Bortman
Astrobiology Magazine

One of the basic assumptions about life on Earth may be due for a revision. Scientists have discovered a type of bacteria that thrives on poisonous arsenic, potentially opening up a new pathway for life on Earth and other planets.

If you thumb through an introductory biology textbook, you'll notice that six elements dominate the chemistry of life. Carbon, hydrogen, oxygen and nitrogen are the most common. After that comes phosphorus, then sulfur. Most biologists will tell you that these six elements are essential; life as we know it cannot exist without them.

The recent discovery by Felisa Wolfe-Simon of an organism that can utilize arsenic in place of phosphorus, however, has demonstrated that life is still capable of surprising us in fundamental ways. The results of her research will appear in Dec. 2 issue of the journal Science.

Wednesday

Portugal, For all Those that Don't Know Geography.
Yea, Its in Europe.
Good Grief.....

Hello Troops,
Three more "Cry from the Dark's" yesterday. The Ferengi character is hard on my voice. You know the one, "You're a lier and a poor one at that!" Yea, now you remember :) Towards the end of the mission the ship flies past a star with companion black hole connected by a swirl of star matter. One boy from Greenwood Elementary said loud enough to hear "That looks like Portugal!"
Jon and I got a kick out of that one. Talk about random. I've since looked at the shot repeatedly and have come to the conclusion that the boy has no clue what Portugal looks like, or where it is on the globe.

It's always satisfying to hear the comments from the kids before, during and after our missions. They really are, for the most part, blown away by the whole thing. I must hear the word "Sick" used a least a dozen or more times a day, along with dozens of other adjectives kids use these days to describe awesomeness.

And on today's menu, missions and more missions. And for dessert, more missions. All in a day's work at the Space Center.

Finally, a few things to ponder as you start (or end) your day.

And where are you in this diagram?

Great Idea. Can we include obnoxious campers and students?

It speaks for itself.

This is so true. Every month I buy dozens of pens for our pen box at the Space Center. By the end of every month most are gone. Nobody knows where they went - they're just gone. I'm talking hundreds of pens not just a few dozen. Gone. It is the biggest unsolved mystery at the Center.

Tuesday

Hello Troops,
We had a good return to work yesterday. There were no turkey hangovers and the kids from Greenwood Elementary School did a fantastic job with "A Cry from the Dark". A special thanks to Kyle Herring, Gordan and Alex for a quick, expedited Phoenix chair repair over the holiday. The floor had to be pulled up and the chair welded and attached to the cement.

The December volunteering and working list is posted. That was my major accomplishment yesterday. We have a pool of fantastic volunteers living along the Wasatch Front and I'm grateful for the time and effort they put into volunteering. The volunteers are the live blood of the Center.

A couple pictures for today.

If it was only that easy

It all starts with Imagination. I've preached it my whole life and will never stop.

And Finally, My Picture of the Day. How Awesome is This!
Bet Mom wasn't too happy about it.

I've Shoveled Too Much Today. Time for a Few Laughs.

From the Fortress of Solitude
Pleasant Grove

Hello Troops!

The snow and cold came so fast last night I couldn't keep up with the shoveling, let alone keep track of company. No one noticed Great Uncle Wally was missing until this morning. One of these days Pleasant Grove will have a sewer system, then tragedies like this will never happen again. A sad chapter in our Williamson family history, and what a way to go. Shall we move on?

I'm at my computer. Just finished a Cloverdale Post (stop by and give it a read if you have a minute. www.ourcloverdale.blogspot.com). The village is all dressed up for Christmas and waiting for shoppers.

What about this snow? I'm sick of shoveling. That's the bad thing about living across from a chapel with three wards. I need to keep the sidewalk clear so someone doesn't have a nasty Sabbath fall. Isn't there some kind of Jewish law about how many steps you can take on the Sabbath day? If so, then I it be enforced on snowy days so we can all stay home and I don't feel so obligated to be out at the crack of dawn to clear my sidewalks before the 9:00 A.M. ward meets. Blah........

How about a few items from the Imaginarium to finish this short but sweet post (yesterday's post was mammoth so I deserve a break today).

Picture 1.
Ever drive over one of these and think you'll suddenly get a burst of speed? My Mario Kart friends out there are all giving me long distant high fives for this one!

Picture 2
Now this is a washing label that finally makes sense. What the heck are all those symbols? Let's see, I'll need to do a Google search and pull up a photo of the Rosetta Stone so I can decipher the hieroglyphics. (Pause while I do my research).

OK, I've reviewed the latest research on ancient Egyptian and am ready to deliver my translation.

• Take this garment and wash it with no more than 40 other Clothes.
• Do not place it on a pyramid to dry because that's just stupid.
• The garment is to be put on with one arm up and then over the head.
• It is for People, not Animals.
• Do not put in the dryer.
• And be careful with the negative charge this garment will develop if you roll around on the floor. It could deliver a fatal static charge if you touch something metal.

What do you think? Not bad for someone with a South Dakota education. Right?

Picture 3

Coming up next on the evolutionary scale - Flying Sharks! So much for being at the top of the food chain. We enjoyed it while it lasted.

Picture 4

The seating chart for my family's Thanksgiving Dinner. (Click to Enlarge)

Picture 5
This from the Department of Cool Bedrooms. Talk about being born with a silver spoon in your mouth. On the other hand, these poor boys may have one of those super clean freak moms. Regardless, wouldn't the Space Center be the coolest place in the world if we had real dorms for our campers that looked like this? Somebody please make it happen. All it takes is money.

The government is printing money as fast as the trees can be cut down to make the paper, so where is my share? There must be something in one of these stimulus spending bills for a Space Education Center / Camp.

I demand a Bail Out! Wait. The Space Center is solvent so it doesn't need a bail out. We spend only what we have. Shocker isn't it? That's what's called financial responsibility.

I demand Hand Out! Yes, that's the ticket :)

Picture 5
I went to see Harry Potter over the break. Loved it. The imagination it took to write the books and make the films is a true testament to the wonders of the human mind. Now I wouldn't recommend you do this except to your own bathroom. But here's an idea that could make you a lot of money. Make a nice old fashioned wooden or metal sign with a painted hand pointing downward saying the same thing and sell it during the Christmas Season. Every Potter fan would buy one and hang it over their bathroom toilets. Do it quickly before someone else does.

And finally, for all the Harry Potter fans that work, volunteer and attend the Space Center. This last picture is for you.

Keep your imagination alive and well. Dream Big then go out and Do!

Mr. Williamson

A Dark Saturday and Photographs of Recent Awards.

Hello Troops,

The Space Center is dark today (using the Broadway definition of 'dark' as in, no programs). The staff have that rare Saturday off to enjoy time with family, friends, homework and the Sandman.

Speaking of the Sandman, its come to my attention that some of my staff and volunteers have been seeing less and less of him recently. Let me emphasis the importance of nurturing your relationship with the Sandman. Keeping his company leads to rested nights and energetic days. Shunning him leads to lapses in consciousness when you need consciousness the most, like driving, taking notes in class, and most importantly - your job! If you and the Sandman haven't been in touch then text him and arrange a reunion.

Get More Sleep before we return to the Imaginarium on Monday for the dispensing of more chills and thrills.

Staff News and Photographs

I'm going to take a few minutes of your time to update you on recently honored Staff and Volunteers.

This is Jordan. Jordan is happy. Jordan received his Year of Service Pin. I'm not really with it and must apologize to Jordan for my stammering and imbalance. This award was given on a Saturday morning after an Overnight Camp. Sleep and I are odd fellows on an overnight camp. Instead of sleep, I would say I drift in and out of mild unconsciousness during the four or five hours I'm laying on my pad.

Jordan is just happy I managed to stab his lanyard and not him.

This is Alex awarding Bronson his Phoenix Pin for Outstanding Performance in the Art of Secondary Flight Directing and Bridge Supervision. This highly sought after award - available only by that name in the Phoenix - was earned after several attempts and several failures, something everyone who has earned a Phoenix Pin will testify to.

Alex is not easily pleased and dispenses smiles of gratitude and praise rarely. You'll see in the photograph above, Alex is still debating whether or not to pair the award with a smile of appreciation. I couldn't wait for the outcome and snapped the photograph anyway. Sorry Bronson - its the best I could do. Anyway, Congratulations on wrestling the pin from Alex's cold, clammy grip.

Well Well Well, here we see someone that not only received her Phoenix Pin but an Appreciative Smile from Alex as well. Her name is Erin. From this point on she will be known as Blessed Erin, the first step to Sainthood.

To become a Saint one must perform several confirmed miracles. This is Erin's first. Erin healed the paralysis that has afflicted Alex's facial muscles the moment her hand touched his. This caused an immediate contraction of both cheek muscles, resulting in a recognisable smile.

A few hours after this photograph was taken, I emailed a copy to Rome for the Vatican's stamp of approval. I'm pleased to report to Erin, and the rest of the Space Center family, that this miracle has been confirmed by the Holy See and a file on Erin has been created.

Don't start calling her Saint Erin yet - Blessed will do fine. Good Luck Erin, we're pulling for you.

Ben was impressed with Nathan's strong grip after awarding his Galileo Pin during our after camp meetings a few Saturday's back. Ben pays attention to a person's grip, believing a firm grip is an indication of strength in personality and a commitment to work. Nathan, wanting to get ahead at the Center by impressing the Flight Directors, spent the last few months building up his hand strength at Orem's Nickel Emporium.

On any given afternoon, you'll find Nathan dropping quarter after quarter into the Grip O Meter The Grip O Meter is a game housed in a wooden cabinet that tests a players strength of grasp by having the player grip the metal pincher's and squeeze them with everything he's got. A moment later, little red lights light up telling you what kind of a man you are based on your strength. In a matter of a few short weeks, and having spent much of his life savings, Nathan went from "Wimp on the Beach" to "Olympian". He knew he was in Ben's league when he offered his hand to his gym teacher and sent him to his knees in pain.

Colton McKay is seen in this photograph receiving his Voyager Pin. I was pleased to present the award. Colton is a high school intern and has been doing a great job in the Voyager running Second Chair and Bridge. Of course, Colton has a long way to go before his lanyard is as impressive as mine. You'll notice my sparkles in pins. Notice Colton has one, perhaps two by now. You'll see how please I look after reminding Colton of that fact.
"Notice how many pins I have and how few you have," I whispered as I leaned in to pin the pin on his lanyard. "Maybe one day Colton - but awesomeness, using me as your standard, is nearly impossible to reach, especially for mere mortals like yourself."

I must say the look on Colton's face is disturbing. He seems to be scheming. Perhaps I should remember the old adage "Uneasy is the head that wears the crown".

Gulp.....

Connor scares me. He keeps earning pin after pin and is becoming a regular on these Space Center news updates. You see how my confidence seems to be wavering while his only strengthens. Good work Connor!

This is Natalie. Natalie earned her Year's Service Pin. Natalie is someone who is true, honest and easy going. She works well with everybody. With the exception of working with her brother, Natalie is happy and willing to jump right in where ever needed. Now don't get me wrong. Alex and Natalie can work well together, but I prefer to keep them separated if at all possible. It's just that when they work together Alex drops into his 'Big Brother' roll and is more liberal with his correcting. The Phoenix control room is right next to the Space Center's door so anyone walking by can hear what's being said. I can't afford a misunderstanding if this brother sister working combination deteriorates into anything resembling the 'disagreements' I use to get into with my sisters.

Experience tells me its best to keep siblings apart.

Here we are celebrating Jon and Zac's birthdays. Zac didn't wait for me to finish lighting the candles. You'll see he went right ahead and blew them out as soon as they were lit, leaving Jon standing there looking stupid. Zac later told me he was afraid Jon might get more birthday wishes than him. In reality, I think Zac was upset that someone had referred to him as a girl in one of the post camp surveys read in our after camp meeting. I read the comment out loud, giving everyone a good laugh. Zac's face was beet red. Afterwords I put salt in his wound by publicly reminding him to get a hair cut.

"No one laughs at me and gets away with it," he was overheard mumbling after the singing of "Happy Birthday to You".

We noticed an entire pan of cupcakes disappeared seconds after the lights in Discovery mysteriously went out after the singing. Later that afternoon, Zac was seen walking strangely to his car. It looked like he was hiding something under his jacket.

Zac doesn't like cupcakes, so the disappearance of the cupcakes was his way of reminding us of something he always says, "This Hershey ain't no sweet chocolate. I'm bitter baby, bitter."
Sorry Zac, we will remember that next time.

Jon Parker is demonstrating his new skill to the staff and volunteers during an after camp meeting. Jon was so inspired by the last Karate Kid movie that he now spends up to thirty minutes a day in his bedroom kicking. He's going for height. So far he has managed to tear the inside seam of three pairs of his work pants and made two trips to the InstaCare for pulled hamstrings. His ultimate goal is to kick the bell he has mounted above his bedroom doorway.

If you really want to get on Jon's good side, just refer to him as the "K-Kid". That's a good as it gets for Jon. He is such a special boy, that Jon of ours.

Scott is warning Christine to be gentle as she inserts the Odyssey pin into his Lanyard at the end of a recent Overnight Camp. Christine is dangerous without her glasses. She has stabbed so many volunteers over the last few months that we keep a supply of tetanus shots in the Voyager refrigerator to save our volunteers from unnecessary trips to the InstaCare in Orem.

This is Jake. Jon awarded Jake his Voyager pin in a recent after camp meeting. Jake thanked Jon just before the picture was taken.

"Thanks K-Kid," Jake said.

The room erupted with applause because Jon is one of our special staff and loved by everyone. Jon was moved to the point of tears for the kindness shown and gave Jake an extra warm and hearty handshake.

Thanks Jake for helping us continue to build and strengthen Jon's self esteem. What a nice kid our 'K-Kid' is.

Well, this pin took forever to award and I must thank Zach for his patience. We asked K-Kid to award another Phoenix pin. Jon took the pin, jumped up on a table and shouted, "This is the Starship Enterprise and there is a Klingon," he said pointed to Zach. The room went quiet.

"Did he get his meds," Emily mouthed to me from the back of the room. I shrugged my shoulders.

Jon shouted "Red Alert" and jumped from table to table holding the Voyager Pin overhead pretending it was a starship. He dodged the imaginary photon torpedoes and phasers fired by the Klingon (Zach). A minute or two later, Jon rushed up to Zach and fired the Pin's main batteries directly into Zach's lanyard, thus ending the battle. I motioned to Zach to fall to the floor showing the pin's violent attaching was enough to kill him and thus neutralize the Klingon threat. Jon was pleased, did his kick, and returned to his seat.

If any of you wondered where our Orion Pirates come from then here is your answer. We keep several of them on hand in the school's lowest basement, locked up and on a moment's call to run up the stairs and into the Space Center to attack the younglings. Here you see three of them waiting for the call. They've been on duty for several months now. They pass the time with cards, sleeping and unreliable conversation.

I startled them from sleep for feeding time. Raw steaks and pealed potatoes were on the menu for the night. We feed them once a day to keep them healthy but are careful not to overfeed. An overfed Orion Pirate is useless in the taking of the Voyager's bridge. They loose their edge.

The best pirate is a partially starved pirate. If they take the bridge quickly they get an extra helpings of beef fat along with their steaks. Notice we also keep them unarmed until its time to send them into action. The last time we let them keep their weapons they used them for target practice on the rats that live in the deep dark corners of the basement. The blasts set off the school's fire alarm. Not good at all. Their rations were cut that evening as punishment.

Several teachers unfamiliar with the Space Center's staff reported seeing a mysterious person lurking near the school a few weeks ago. I recognized him the moment I saw the security camera footage.
"That's Jan," I said to the principal.
"Who's Jan?" she asked.
"Why that's Jon's twin brother," I replied. She laughed. Apparently the name touched her funny bone.
"Don't laugh," I said. "Jan is a proper boys name in the Netherlands."
"Oh," she replied. "Then that's OK."

Let me introduce Jan to everyone out there that doesn't already know him. And remember not to laugh at his name. As I said to Dr. Carter, Jan is a proper boy's name in the Netherlands.


This two pictures are test camera shots taken three weeks ago of a new proposed Space Center villian written to take the place of Mad Dog, leader of the Orion Pirates. While Mad Dog still has mileage, it has been mentioned that the character is a bit stale. Let's face it, Mad Dog doesn't illiscit the fear he once did in the hearts of our younger campers.

"Kids these days are desensitized to my Mad Dog character because of the really bad dudes they see in the movies. I mean, how can Mad Dog compete with the Joker from the last Batman movie?" Bill Schuler asked in a conversation we had a month ago over a lunch of sour cream and chive baked potatoes at the Pleasant Grove Wendys.

Our proposed new character is called 'The Sheik". His starship resembles a Persian Carpet. He smells of camel dung and is surrounded by a Harem of beautiful women trained in all forms of martial arts.

Are we worried this new character may be insulting to Islam? Yes, to a degree. Emily and Skyler both pointed out that Fatwahs have been issued for offenses far less insulting to Islam than "The Sheik". So, I've decided to put the character on hold for the time being. I'll let you know of developments.

This is Connor. Conner is receiving his Year Pin (I believe). Connor is an all around great kid and is as trustworthy as a winter day is long. If he walked up to me and said, "Mr. Williamson, I need my ten year pin," I'd believe him (which makes we wonder what exactly it is I'm pinning on his lanyard).

Come on Matt. Its only a Galileo Pin. Why so happy? Why the hugh smile? Oh, perhaps its not the pin............ Let's move on.

Look at Rachel's affect on the Space Center's young men. Ryker was awarded a pin AND overcame his fear of girl's germs (although he still keeps a respectable distance and was sure to use plenty of Purell after the handshake).

My thanks to everyone at the Space Center. And, although I take great liberties in my descriptions of photographs, I want everyone to know how much I appreciate their time and efforts at making the Space Center one of the world's happiest places.

See you all in the trenches on Monday,

Mr. Williamson