Sunday, January 25, 2009
An Explosion at the Space Center!
Hello Troops,
The Glass Ceiling (a term commonly used to describe a situation where a woman can see the top of an organization but can't reach it because of a male dominated workforce) shattered this weekend. All males at the Space Center dove for cover from the flying shards.
“It was ghastly,” reported Bradyn Lystrup, still shaking after the explosion. Paths of dried blood etched down his cheeks. The number of injuries overwhelmed the Space Center’s two first aide kits. Todd was dispatched to our local WalMart to pick up new supplies of bandages.
Many that escaped physical injury were effected emotionally. The Odyssey’s beds were full of volunteers and staff suffering from shock. I nearly called for an ambulance but wanted to keep this from hitting the local news.
I moved from bed to bed assuring the casualties that all was being done to stabilize the situation. I found Kyle Herring on the bottom bed. I knelt down. He grabbed my hand and asked me if all was lost. “Can we make this right again?” he whispered through his cracked lips. His skin was cold and clammy - a sure sign of extreme shock. I lied and told him everything would be just like it was. It seemed to calm him. I took out my Star Trek Commemorative Coin to give him something to hold onto. I motioned for Emily Perry, our EMT, to come take his blood pressure. He pulled back into a fetal position upon sight of her. She backed away realizing from her training that he may be beyond hope of saving. She needed to treat those that still had a chance.
I walked to my desk wondering if I had done the right thing. Look at what my decision had wrought? So many affected. So much blood. Such sadness. I sat down and put my head in my hands.
“It will be OK,” a weak voice said in front of me. I looked up. It was Carson. He seemed unscathed by the event. He was helping Spenser D to one of the chairs that run the length of my long wooden desk. Spenser’s arm was in a sling. I later learned it was a dislocated shoulder.
“Will you be OK?” I asked them both. They nodded . “I’m sorry this happened without warning. I take full responsibility.” I sat back and watched as broken glass was picked up buy the few remaining males that could still stand.
“You did the right thing,” Stacy Carroll said as she carried in a just emptied trash can.
“It had to happen. That glass ceiling was growing weaker and weaker.”
I agreed. It was the right thing.
The explosion of the glass ceiling was the direct result of one thing. Emily Perry, a female, flight directing a paid private mission by herself without a coach on Saturday. This day will go down in infamy - January 24, 2009. After 18 years the last remaining male stronghold of the Space Center fell to the advancing female column. The white flag was raised over the Fortress at 11:30 A.M. The glass ceiling exploded at 2:00 P.M. just as Emily finished the mission and placed the microphone in the stand.
My Friends, according to many males who survived the event, the Fat Lady Sang and Hell Froze Over.
I apologize to all my fellow males for allowing this ‘abomination’ as you put it. But I say this once again - it is time to leave the 19th century. Girls can vote. They can own property and they are allowed out of the kitchen. We have many fine female flight directors. They can hold their own in a mission to mission face off with any male. Trust me on this.
Some of you may feel I’ve lost my bearings and turned my back on my gender but once again I say - GOOD JOB EMILY! YOU DID IT! YOU RAN THE VOYAGER’S FIRST MISSION DIRECTED ENTIRELY BY A FEMALE. The glass ceiling is shattered. We live in a time of change and change can be good.
I want to thank Emily’s supervisors Spencer D and Carson M. for helping with this special event. They did their jobs well giving Emily the supported needed to pull it off.
Now, I’m sure emails and comments of congratulations will come pouring in from all. I’m also ready for the backlash from our unhappy males. I can live with that but I warn you against toilet papering. Oh yes...... you don’t want to go down that road.
Your Progressive Sleepless Leader,
Mr. Williamson
P.S. Emily did a great job and was supported by everyone. I do like to exaggerate but it makes for interesting reading and writing. Good Job Emily.
Nice one, Vic. I like it!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations Emily!
ReplyDeleteMr. W you are so hellarious! I was acutally shocked the glass ceiling hadn't shattered before with all the amazing females on your staff.... :)
ReplyDeleteEmily is so AWESOME!!(You should make another video of a staff mission, it was so funny)
ReplyDelete"..and they are allowed out of the kitchen."
ReplyDeleteThat is the best line ever written in this blog. :P
That place is going to ruin.
ReplyDeleteEver since the Porters left.
COOL!!! Males step aside the ladies are coming through!!! LOL GREAT JOB EMILY!!!!!
ReplyDeleteemily is so hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ya!
ReplyDeleteEmily is scary!
ReplyDelete@Expavesco
ReplyDeleteThat is not a nice thing to say!!!!! The space center is a GREAT place with GREAT staff.... And that comment was RUDE!!
"hellarious", eh?
ReplyDelete