We're Starting a New Year and Getting Ready for School. A Few Bits of Cowboy Wisdom to Help You With Your New Year's Resolutions. Imaginarium Theater.

Hello Readers,

     Christmas is over and 2024 is fast approaching. On January 8 most of our Voyagers return to school (with a few returning this week). Returning after the Christmas holiday is dreaded by students worldwide. Teachers get to school first to turn on the lights, turn up the heat, try to remember where they left off in their curriculum, and review their list of sarcastic remarks intended to put overly sugared students back into learning mode. Students will slither back into the classrooms next between 7:30 A.M. and 9 A.M. You hear the roar gradually build as they gather in the hallways comparing their holiday adventures and gifts. 

"Do I look like I'm happy to be back!?"

     I do my best to kindly greet each student as they reluctantly enter my room, but I wouldn't place a wager on the number of optimistic responses I get back. Most give me a look of hopelessness. Others send a defiant stare as if to dare me to get them under control. I accept their challenges knowing that once that bell rings, they fall under my control.

Cherish Prudence, Student Class President, photographed the morning
of the first day back from Christmas Vacation.

     After the Pledge of Allegiance, I list five hours of homework assignments on the board. Next to the assignments I have a note which reads, “Due Tomorrow”. Now I have their complete attention. The silence of shock quickly evaporates into weeping and howling. I wait for the emotions to settle before telling them the part I purposely left off the board. "Give me a good day and good work and you'll be surprised at what could be erased from this list," I say with a kind smile.
     As the day progresses, one assignment after another disappears (depending on their attitude and work of course) until we are left with exactly what their assignments would normally have been.  I will also erase an unwanted assignment if given a positive comment about my lessons or appearance :)

      Soon, just like Pavlov’s dog, they are trained and my well oiled classroom is firing on all cylinders. Instead of the slang and slurs I heard at the start of the day, by 3:00 P.M. I hear only the Queen’s English. I'm also pleased that most have regained control of their emotions and bathroom needs. Its all good.

Students After a Day of Retraining

     Because we're starting a new year, may I take a moment and share a few bits of country wisdom I’ve picked up over the years? Remember now, I’m from South Dakota - the state that lies below North Dakota (if that helps you place it on a map). This may surprise you, but South Dakota does have indoor plumbing, highways, and airports. The Denver to Deadwood Stagecoach stopped running years ago after the first highway was built. Contrary to what you may have heard, you may visit the State without fear of Indian attacks. Best of all, South Dakota doesn’t have a state income tax! The American Dream is alive and well in this capitalist oasis on the northern plains.

Luella Stump, South Dakota Director of Tourism, encourages you to come see the Beauty of the West in South Dakota!"  (side note: South Dakota has a shortage of dentists but you won't find a better buffalo burger anywhere)

     I was raised in rural South Dakota. This is cowboy country. Cowboys have a unique, down to earth wisdom that seems to apply to everyone, no matter what side of the tracks you come from. So, to get 2024 off to a good start, here is a list of excellent cowboy wisdom I picked up over the years. Get you cowboy boots and 10 gallon hat on, play a good western CD, and get ready to get inspired.

• Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
• Don't squat with your spurs on.
• Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back in.
• If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
• If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
• After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him... The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
• Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
• There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.
• If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
• Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco.
• It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
• Always drink upstream from the herd.
• When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.
• When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
• The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
• Never miss a good chance to shut up.
• There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading, the few who learn by observation, and the rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

"I got a fire goin' and the biscuits are hot. I'll be waiten for ya."

     Ya’ll enjoy the next few days of yer freedom. If ya’ll have some spare time, get yer horse and come on out and help us with a mission or two.

     My final thought, may the problems of 2023 forget your address so that 2024 will be the best year ever.

Ad Astra!
Mr. Williamson

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