Hello Troops,
It has been a quiet week at the Space Centers so I thought I'd repost something I wrote in February 2009. It is called "Things You'll Never Hear Spoken at the Space Center in a Million Billion Years." I added comments (in purple) to add a bit of background to help you understand the sarcasm.Let's make an updated version of this for 2024. Take a minute and send me something for a current member of staff or a volunteer at any of the Space Centers. I'll gather them up and make a new post for the staff and volunteers today.
Ad Astra!
Mr. Williamson
Sorry for the blurry picture. Who do you remember?
THINGS YOU’LL NEVER HEAR SPOKEN AT THE SPACE CENTER IN A MILLION BILLION YEARS.
February 2009.
Mark Daymont: "We're going to do a different mission today in the Magellan. No Death Trap
today!"
Mark loved that mission. It was his go to story for the overnight camps. The staff and volunteers were a bit tired of it though.
Bill Schuler: “That was a great story on first reading. No further editing is required. Your story is good to be told. What skill, what writing. You are a credit to your family and nation. A new Ernest Hemmingway.”
Bill was my first line of defense when someone wanted to run a new mission by me. He was the editor in chief and brutal with his red pen.
Dave Daymont: “Thank you for calling me at the last second and asking me to take another Phoenix mission. I had plans to do something else but last minute missions are my specialty. Golly I’m lucky.”
You never called Dave in for a last minute booking. Never!
Mr. Williamson: “If you’re going to Harts please pick me up a bottled water. One must watch one’s health. Don’t you agree?”
My philosophy is simple, water is for bathing and Dt. Dew is for drinking. Keep 'em coming
Aleta Clegg: “Perikoi is my best mission. I’m so excited when I get to tell it to our visiting sixth grade classes.”
Aleta wore many hats at the Space Center: office manager, flight director, summer camp kitchen manager, etc. Both Aleta and I were so done with Perikoi that field trip season!
Lorraine Houston: “I brought a cake from WalMart’s bakery. They are so much better than anything I can do at home. You know me in the kitchen - all thumbs I’m afraid. Well, thumbs and a bit of blood if you let me near the knifes.”
Lorraine was the staff and volunteer's mom away from home. She brought home baked goodies to the overnight camp and everyone got a home made birthday cake on their birthdays.
Metta Smith: “Please leave those shirts untucked. I mean right now! Don’t you make me come over there and untuck it for you. Listen all of you, you’ll get the sharp edge of my tongue if you don’t listen to me.”
Metta strictly enforced the "shirts tucked in" policy. She wasn't known for lectures to the staff. That was Megan's job :)
Megan Warner: “ Please lean back in the chairs. Please leave your personal belongings in my Control Room and Briefing Room.”
Megan is a flight director today at The Space Place and the Discovery Space Center at American Heritage School. You don't bring personal items into the Control Rooms and never lean back in a chair.
Megan Warner: “Hello Children, this is our transporter room. Aren’t we excited? I can see it in your eyes you little darling. Now, we are all going to go into this room and wait for the transporter sound. You will be magically transported to the Phoenix waiting for you way up there in the sky. Also, be sure to touch the walls when you go in. There will be a shock but well worth the experience. Everyone in. Isn’t this fun? Are we all ready? “
You boarded the Phoenix Megan's way or no way at all. Got it!
Bradyn Lystrup: “Shadows is my mission. I own Shadows. I’ve always owned Shadows. Did I mention it was MY mission. Yes, I’m all that and more.”
Bradyn works at Canyon Grove Academy in Pleasant Grove and runs the school's InfiniD Mission Program on their Starship Everest. Shadows is still HIS mission if you ask him today.
Kyle Herring: “OK, I finished everything on the repair list. The Space Center is in tip top shape."
Kyle still hasn't finished everything on the 2009 repair list.
Christine G: “I’m so depressed. Nothing works right. I can’t get through this. Oh the humanity. I’m going to lay down right here on the control room floor and sleep. I can’t cope. I can’t go on.”
Christine is the most optimistic person I've ever met. She found the good in every mission, even if the Odyssey was falling apart around her.
Rachel H: “Me too”
Rachel was a close 2nd to Christine
Stacy Carroll: “I know I’m early to work. It shouldn’t surprise you. I’m what’s known as a morning person. I thrive in the morning. I’m awake before dawn busy as a bee.”
Stacy was not a morning person, but nobody flew the Galileo as well as she. She was an excellent flight director trainer as well.
Sheila Powell: “I’ve never met a child I didn’t like. Children are angels. If they are disrespectful in class its my fault. I must not be doing the right things to entertain them. Children can’t be expected to show self control. Its not in their nature.”
Saint Sheila was a saint. She loved children and expected them to behave during the field trip lesson time.
Bill Schuler: “Please let me offer you my work space here in the Briefing Room. I’m working at the school today but see you need a place to work yourself. I’m perfectly willing to work right here beside you on the floor. I only need a little corner and access to electricity. If there is anything else I can do to make you more comfortable at my desk please don’t hesitate to ask.”
You never messed with Bill's stuff or encroached on his working area. Expect a bit of Diet Coke in your hair if you did.
Kyle Herring: “I’m changing my hair style to something more natural for my age. I think I’m going for a Victor Williamson hair cut. It has worked well for him for the last 50 years so learn from the best - that’s what I always say.”
Kyle did his best to look as young as possible with his hair.
Victor Williamson: “Wasn’t that fun having me spend the entire overnight camp in your ship watching you fly. I learned so much. This week I plan on spending all my free time in the simulators watching mission after mission after mission. I just can’t get enough. Hey everybody, let’s get together and discuss your mission ideas as well.”
Watching new flight directors fly (or want to be flight directors) was torture for me. It took all my strength not to reach over and take the microphone forcefully from their hands and fly the mission myself.
Warren N.: “Socialism is the only real form of government. The government has a responsibility to care for the weak and lazy. We all need a rock solid safety net under us for hard times.”
Warren was the staff's number 2 Republican in all things.
Kyle Herring: “Ditto”
Kyle was the first.
Jace (Central): ‘silence’
Jace was a Central School sixth grade volunteer. They sat in the Control Rooms and listened to the political debates.
Brock B: “Mr. Williamson, I’d love to spend more time in the Magellan but you keep putting me in the Voyager. Please can I get to do what I want to do sometime?”
Brock was one of the those "Voyager Boys". They had their own gang and never left the Voyager unless I forced them to.
Spencer M: “I’m nothing. I worthless. I’m the worst player on my church ball team. I don’t know why they put up with me. If I could only make one basket. Oh what’s the use?”
Spencer Merryweather was the best at everything. All you had to do was ask him if you had any doubt.
Spenser D: “I really enjoy all the kids you send into the Voyager to work with me. They are so full of life and energy. It makes my day to get to train them how to do the acting parts. I get a kick out of the cute things they say. Oh, and if they refuse to do what I say as Supervisor, I’ll forgive them because, after all, they are just kids. We can’t expect them to accept responsibility and the value of a job well done, can we?”
Spenser Dauwalder was another of those "Voyager Boys". He was a bit unforgiving when it came to crew misbehavior.
Mr. Williamson: “The best part of my job is dealing with personality issues. I love to mediate conflict between staff and volunteers. I thrive on staff misunderstandings. I get a kick out of ironing out the petty issues that arise from any organization staffed with multiple humans.”
Mr. Porter has to deal with these now. :)
Yes my friends, those are things you’ll never, ever hear spoken at the Space Center.
Now let’s have a great week at school, at work, and at home. Remember, the Space Center is a home to all of us. Let’s work hard to help it achieve its potential and an influence for good and learning not only for the students but our staff and volunteers as well.
Mr. Williamson
Imaginarium Theater
The Week's Best Videos From Around the World Edited for a Gentler Audience
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