And Yet, Another Overnight Camp.

Hello Troops,
Some weekend Overnight Camps are better than others. Many factors determine whether we label a camp great, good, so so, bad, and "Its every man for himself!". One of those factors is the amount of mental effort and patience it takes to put the younglings to bed. Tonight's bed time saga has been a test of my strength to manage a smile when all I want to do is verbally strike back with lightening sarcasm meant to disable anyone with a question the moment his arm goes up.

So far tonight....

"Mr. Williamson. That kid over there was using a bad word during the mission."

"Mr. Williamson. That kid over there was making fun of us in the bathroom."

"Mr. Williamson, I didn't bring a sleeping bag and pillow. I thought the Space Center had beds."

(2nd boy chimes in) "Mr. Williamson, me too."

"Mr. Williamson, we need to go to the bathroom."

Those words were spoken by one of the three boys I assigned to sleep on the Voyager's Bridge closest to the two chaperons. They were the ones mouthing off in the boy's bathroom earlier this evening. I specifically told all the boys just thirty minutes earlier that one of my biggest pet peeves were kids coming to tell me they needed to get a drink or use the restroom MOMENTS after putting them down for the night. Remember, the boys all get a bathroom break right before we put them to bed. I tell them three or four times during that break that "This is your LAST bathroom break."

Of course, our campers are allowed to use the bathroom and get a drink during the night. My point is this, they shouldn't have to use it right after they got a bathroom break. One goes, then another, then another.... It is there way of staying up later and roaming the school's halls. Yes, I'm on to their game.

Let's leave that one and move along.....

Coming from the staff and volunteers:
"Mr. Williamson, there aren't anymore pads."

Ah, the age old lack of pads. The Space Center staff sleeps on these flimsy, disintegrating pads purchased from the U.S. Government's Auction of Civil War Surplus. You could tell the pads once had padding. Now they provide a semi porous fabric shield against the industrial carpet the District uses to carpet its schools. Someone weighing 25 pounds might feel something akin to comfort when sleeping on one of them. Anyone weighing more might as well just sleep on the floor. Anyway, we ran out of the pads tonight. This weekend a larger percentage of staff chose to stay here at the Center. Perhaps its because its LDS Conference Weekend, and if they go home, their parents may insist they return right after the Overnight Camp for the Saturday afternoon session.

The boys are in bed and its strangely quiet - odd for 12:31 A.M. They are either in the advanced stage of mischief making or they really are taking pity on an old guy who seriously needs a bit of sleep to recharge his patience.

Mr. W.

P.S. Post Update. It's almost time to get the kids up. They actually went to bed very well. The staff got the sleep they needed and my patience batteries are fully charged. It appears to be the start of a good Saturday (yikes, did I just curse myself?).

Comet Elenin. Our Doomsday Comet?

Elenin is Coming!

Hello Troops,
We've survived the alignment of death with the mysterious Elenin, the comet of death, or is it the brown star of the Apocalypse? Regardless, the internet rumor mill has been churning out videos and articles on NASA's supposed big cover up concerning a very dangerous (disappointing) comet heading to within 22 million miles of Earth. The comet finished its swing around the sun and is heading this way! (screaming allowed at this point. Please be sure not to faint of fright without checking for sharp objects in your fall zone).

What the fear mongers can't or won't tell you is that the Sun had its way with poor Elenin, leaving it a snowflake of its former self. It will continue on its way, obliviously to the panic it inspired on Earth's gullible who believe that if they see it on the internet and YouTube, then it must be real.

"I seen it!" is their typical response when their facts are challenged by those of us who are baptized true blue skeptics and take the time to check facts before jumping to conclusions.

One such video posted earlier this week reported that many high ranking government officials were on vacation this week. Could it be that this is the normal September vacation for Congress, or could they know something we don't? That must be it. Why believe the obvious? Surely the most complicated explanation for "their" actions must be correct because reasonable explanations are boring and don't sell ads on web sites or hits on the YouTube.

So, to my friends and associates who are frantically digging their backyard survival shelters, please stop and relax. All will be well. Call me when you see or hear an internet story of something coming to rain death and destruction on Earth. I'll check it out and get back to you. And if I don't get back to you, then you have my permission to panic.

And now, how about a few items from the Imaginarium.

Brilliant in design and imagination.

The moral of this story is.
1. Don't spend money you haven't earned. How do you think we got into this recession anyway?
2 Don't buy things you don't need. What a waste of resources. Give up trying to keep up with the neighbors. Let THEM go to bed worrying how they're going to pay for their expensive home and toys. Remember, you really don't like them anyway.

Just leave it.

"Will you slow down! Where's the Fire!!"

Walter Sends in his Registration Form. He's Going to the Space Center (and other items from the Imaginarium).

Walter Pickle saved his $2.00 per week allowance for several months. He wanted to do an Overnight Camp, a Super Saturday, and several of the Academy Classes at the Space Education Center. Of course, his allowance wasn't enough, so Walter canvased the neighborhood looking for odd jobs to supplement his income. Finally he earned enough from mowing lawns, trimming hedges, babysitting unruly brats and washing dozens of windows. He printed the Registration Form, filled it out with his best handwriting, had his mother double check to be sure every question was answered, stamped the envelope and dropped it in the corner mail box.

Every afternoon after school Walter checks the mail for his Confirmation Forms. He's hoping Mr. Williamson has the time to take care of his registration quickly, but understands if he can't. Walter knows poor Mr. Willamson is overwhelmed with the day to day running of the Space Center, not to mention taking care of the staff and volunteers.

Walter wishes he'd followed his instincts and added an additional dollar paper clipped to a 3 by 5 card with "Buy a Diet Dew on Me, Mr. Williamson" written on it in red ink. He heard from his best friend Max, who heard from his cousin Alfie, who heard from a former volunteer at the Space Center, that the best way to get Mr. Williamson's attention is to bribe with him with a Diet Dew.
( I Realize some of The Troubadour's readers take everything I write literally, so please do not send me money for Diet Dew's. I'm only kidding)

Walter also knows the importance of imagination from reading The Troubadour. He tries to look outside the box whenever he's faced with a problem or task.

Walter is another fantastic Space Center camper. You must be too. How do I know? I know because you're reading this, aren't you?

And now, a few things from the Imaginarium.


You've heard of Polo Shirts? Well, this is something nearly the same, but with an imaginative twist. Just the kind of thing you'd find here in the Men's Department at Wonderland's Imagination Emporium of All Things Weird and Unexplained, my favorite place to shop.


Another example of awesome creativity, the kind usually found in Space Center fans. A moment of silence for the poor pigeons unlucky enough to seek a moment's rest from flight on this razor blade factory's sign.


And now, Something Completely Different.

Random? Yes.
Creative? Yes.
A perfect example of teenage thought pattens? Yes, Yes and double Yes. We hear this kind of Randomspeak daily at the Space Center.

Radomspeak was heard by Christine and her Odyssey staff on Thursday. During a confrontation with the mission's antagonists, a 6th grade crew member offered the following solution to the Captain, "Why don't we hit them with the shrink ray!"

Awesome idea if the Odyssey had a Shrink Ray, which it doesn't, and never had. Where did that come from? The randomness of the statement sent Christine into hysterics - which happens on a regular basis. Christine is known for seeing and encouraging the best in everything and everyone. A good person to have on your team in a crisis.

I think we should send Christine to Greece to help with their government's austerity program. The Greek Government is desperately searching for ways to balance their nation's books which are awash in red ink from decades of over spending on social programs. Put Christine on Greek television and within one hour the government's phone lines will ignite with pledges of money from every Greek tax payer, coast to coast.

Problem solved, the Christine way.


The one meal I kept waiting to see at Hogwarts. Finally we discover there are days when the kitchen elves take a break.

I find this very true. I've been suckered multiple time by these 'tiny leaves'. It happens at Blockbuster. I scan the shelves looking for a good DVD. My eye stops at every case displaying the olive branches because I know olive branches indicated A Winner!

Wrong.

Just because the film has the words "Winner, Best Picture. North Dakota Film Festival" braced by olive branches doesn't mean the movie is any good.

We could put olive branches around the name of the Space Center. Or better yet, give all the paid staff business cards with their names bracketed with olive leaves instead of this month's pay checks. They'll thank me for it.

That's the power of olive branches.


Have a Great Monday!

Mr. W.