Two Sides To Every Coin, The Real Spring Break Story

The Space Center’s Maintenance Shed during Maintenance Week AKA spring break

A Testament of Grit and Determination
Written by Jon Parker
Directed by Jon Parker
Starring Jon Parker
Co Starring Megan Warner
And various minor mentions to others

The order was given and the call was made, the space center was closed thus began the week of maintenance. I Jon Parker went to all the the set directors and asked the question I hate most. “What needs to be fixed in your ship?” Some ships were more demanding then others. A list was made and the deadline set. I had to do everything I could in two and a half days. After that I would be disappearing never to be heard of again till the next week. The project seemed daunting however I knew the bigger things could be done with a small amount of ease...or so I thought…

Monday: 10:00
I arrived at the center and had not taken 14 steps into the building before I was working. The schools old benches needed to removed from the hall and put in to Discovery. So with one hand holding a bench and the other hand holding my “95 oz. Gut Buster” (as Mr. Williamson likes to call it) the order was given and so it was done.

10:35
The maintenance ladder that has been missing for sometime now was found in the north server closet. Long has been the feud between the Techs and the Maintenance workers. However an olive brach had been extended after getting all the Magellan computers upgraded. This olive branch allowed for the release of our greatly missed ladder as well as some classified equipment for the Techs. The ladder was tested to be sure it was not too badly beaten and was brought into the Voyager. The Projector mount needed to be installed as fast as possible in order to move on to other projects.

10:40
Despair. The area that the Projector needed to be put in has a metal stud followed by brick, followed by cinderblock and possible granite. This may make drilling impossible.

10:45
Debate. Roger The Janitor urged against the use of the new large projector mount, saying that the new mount could be easily removed from the wall by an accidental act of violence to the new mount.

10:50
The choice was made to not use the new mount and instead use the old mount but move it down in order to get it at a better angle of throw for our tactical screens.

11:30
Arrival at Home depot many of the following projects would require a lot of new equipment the estimated cost was over $150.

12:45
Success! The discovery of a drill bit of deadly cutting ability. This is known due to the fact that their was a picture of Wood, Metal, and Brick on the packaging. It is almost as if the drill bit had been made for exactly this task at hand.

3:30
More Debate. After much more thinking it was decided that we will still use the New Mount and get rid of the old one.

4:00
The old mount was removed and the new one installed. Now what remained were the various holes from the old mount that needed to be patched, sanded, and painted over. Then after that the long task of cleaning would only remain.

5:00
One Project Down, many more to go. The Odyssey’s Front Desk had been Plagued with a large hole at the front of the ship. Causing an ugly bleed of light from the front of the ship. The order was given for it to be fixed and so it was done. However before any of that could be done, Food had to be eaten. Then and only then could the work continue.

8:30
The Odyssey’s light bleeding problem was fixed. With the day over and only two things on the list done it was a very eventful day.

Tuesday 10:00
Arrival. The Phoenix and Discovery had big targets on their backs today. With the Phoenix needing supports for their panels changed, the new shelf being put in, and the rope lights being installed. This was going to be a long day. Not to mention a door getting hung in Discovery.

10:30
The shelf was cut and ready to paint. The task of painting was taken up by Megan. I did not argue with her for that job. As I had far too much to do already.

11:00
Another Journey to Home Depot was made for even more supplies. Estimated cost $30.

11:45
The Door in discovery would prove to be a pain but the order was given so it had to be done.

12:30
Success! The door was Hung with a little help from Megan. After which the quest for food was sought out.

1:30

The quest was a great success, however, their was no rest for the weary the work needed to continue. The shelf would be the Next thing to be done.

2:40
After a great deal of strange “acrobatic” movements, the shelf was installed and a decal was drawn on it to commemorate the great struggle it was to install it….or maybe just to make it look cool. You can decide.

2:45

Next thing On the list was the supports for the two panels at the front of the ship.

3:25
The Supports were done. Now for the most daunting task yet. Replacing the rope lights for the phoenix.
“Are you sure you want to take this on Jon?” Mr. Williamson asked.
“Do you challenge my HONOR?!?” I replied back.
“No Jon, I would never do that, I was wondering if you would like to wait for some help….”
“HELP? I don’t need help, I can do it myself”
“Very well, Good luck”
Mr. Williamson quickly made an exit out of the building in order to escape another confrontation with me.

3:30

The task began, and the floor was removed. The old rope lights were removed to make room for the new rope lighting.


4:25

Despair. The large metal panels on the two sides of the ship are impossible to remove from the ship due to the chairs that are welded in place. A makeshift Metal plate tent was made in order to access the rope lights. However their is not a lot of room to do anything as seen below.

6:15

Great despair. The Center’s Hammer drill named Mikita dies, its great liuthiuthm battery has died, and as we all know. With great power comes with a great recharge time. The spare drill was retrieved and put to work. The large downside to this drill is that it is about one and a half times as big and twice as heavy. How ever desperate times call for desperate measures.

6:25
Great success! The loss of the Mikita is softened by the new lights being plugged in. Their light shines through all the land and causes great rejoicing. A new sense hope and resolve is born.

7:00

Dinner Arrives. Pizza is given to all the others here out of the generosity of me. After dinner a call to Mr. Williamson is made.
“Leaving already? Mr. Williamson said
“Nope, we are here till the bitter end. The alarm comes on at 11 right?” I asked to be sure.
“...Yes...it does.” Mr. Williamson had a large sense of fear in his voice.
“Okay, we will be out by 10:45 then.”
“You better Jon.”
“Don’t worry we will clean up at 10:30 so we can be out at 10:45”
“Good idea, alrighty, See you tomorrow”

7:30 ~ 3 hours till deadline
Back to work. The rope lights were having trouble getting through the floor boards. The biggest problem we were having was getting the lights from under the operations station to the first officers station. I would describe the task as trying to thread a needle blindfolded while skydiving. One of our greatest problems was trying to avoid sitting on two land mines that were placed under the floor. Here you see megan getting dangerously close to them.

8:30 ~ 2.5 Hours till deadline.

The land mines were defused and removed from the area for safe use of a Jigsaw to make a hole larger so that we could hopefully breach the third wall out of the camp...I mean the Phoenix.

9:30 ~ 1 hour till deadline
Despair. Great. Great. Despair. The battery for the backup drill has died, and all hopes for getting the rope lights through the hole we cut.

9:45 ~ 45 Minutes till deadline.
Hope. The lights have made it across the bridge and there is hope once again.

10:00 ~ 30 Minutes till deadline.
GREAT SUCCESS!!!! It has been discovered that our educated guess was in fact a perfect guess. The new lights will end right where they need to without any pulling or prying.

10:33 ~ 12 Minutes till Deadline

The rope lights are finished and the ship is cleaned as fast as possible for the finishing touches tomorrow.

Wednesday 11:23
The ship is clean and new lights look amazing.

All the big projects and few small ones were done as fast as possible much to Mr. Williamson’s surprise. “Good job Jon” was herd all over the center as Mr. Williamson and Dave entered to look about at the wonders and transformations over the break. “How did you do it Jon? How do you do such a good job” Mr. Williamson asked. I simply replied. “The order was given, and so it was done.”

The Roar of Cannon, Dave Daymont Escapes Electrocution and The Imaginarium.

Hello Troops,
That is the roar of cannon heard over the distant hills. The Easter Holiday truce is ending. We make ready for battle in our war against Ignorance. Monday brings a return to work for me and a return to school for many of you.

There is an oddity on our Space Center schedule for the week.


Notice all the red boxes? Those are booked missions. On a normal week you'd see a mixture of red and blue boxes, blue boxes being open time slots. There are no open mission slots this entire week! That makes this week unusual. All red is a good thing. More work means more operating money. More operating money means money to improve our ships and upgrade our programming and computers. Our staff will be busy working all those missions and getting through their finals.

I started the Voyager yesterday to see if the old gal would cooperate. We do start up tests after every holiday lasting one week or longer because our simulators have personalities of their own. They have a tendency to act out if they feel the slightest neglect. They're use to copious amounts of TLC from the staff and volunteers. When the TLC isn't forthcoming they react by not functioning correctly upon our return.

I walked through the Voyager before I did the start up and thanked her for 21 years of devoted service. I remarked how good she looked for a ship of her age, and considering the number of missions she's run and the countless number of children she's cared for. I told her I was there every day of the week, working in the office. I reminded her of the numerous repairs she's received over the last year - all very costly. I reminded her of the cool new $50 lamp I installed at the decoding station during the break. I told her I really needed her to give me a great start up. She did. We should be good to go tomorrow.

The Magellan, Odyssey, Galileo and Phoenix also passed their start up tests. We are ready for a very busy week. The only possible hiccup could be the Commons Room. The Space Center's Great New Wall separating the Commons Room from the Sixth Grade hallway is unfinished. We need the Commons Room for Monday's planetarium shows. I'm hoping the painters come in early Monday morning and get the sanding done so we can clean the floor and get set up for the 10:00 A.M. show.

Set Director Dave Daymont Nearly Electrocuted

Phoenix Set Director Dave Daymont showing his electrocuted finger.

"I went to the Stage to check on the landing party set up," Dave explained while rubbing his ring finger in an effort to restore blood flow and feeling. "One of the volunteers was reaching down to unplug one of our lamp props. I saw the faint glimmer of exposed copper." Dave stopped and tried to catch his breath. The retelling of the story was taking a toll on his composure. I could see Dave was suffering from minor shock. I told him to sit down and relax before continuing with his story.

"You saw the exposed copper..." I said to remind him of where he'd left off in the telling of the tale.

Dave took a deep breath and continued. "I saw the exposed wire and started across the stage toward the lamp. I shouted to the boy not to unplug the plug from the wall. He wasn't listening. He had his iPod going. I wasn't looking where I was going and tripped over one of the overturned chairs we use as props. I hit the stage hard, slid forward and got to the boy just in time to grab the cord out of his hand. The shock was powerful enough to clamp my jaw shut. My teeth are hurting. There were sparks everywhere. I'm lucky to be alive. Look at my finger."

I shook my head back and forth in disbelief at his heroic actions. "Can you feel your finger?"

"Don't worry. I'll be OK," Dave answered, not wanting anyone to make a fuss. "Don't tell my wife what happened. It will only worry her. She always gets nervous when I'm around electricity."

Dave gets our Hero of the Month Award for his dramatic actions in saving one of our volunteers from a shock.

Great Job Dave!

From the Imaginarium

Sometimes its all you can do.


The Imaginarium's Easter Bunnies leaving the Imaginarium's Ministry of Holiday Magic to start their Easter egg deliveries.


Waiting in an Imaginarium Dentist's office is a thrill on its own.


It's all in the marketing
Yes, there's a sucker born every minute


For the Socialist in your family



Imaginarium News Update.

North Korean Launches Multistage Rocket to Celebrate the 100th Anniversary of their
Dear Leader's Birth (In Pictures)

From the Imaginarium's Shop of Unknown Pleasures
Do your Holiday Shopping Early at the Shop of Unknown Pleasures.

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A must for the carnivores in your family.

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For the discerning cook in your family.


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For the Nerd in your family.



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For that person who has everything in your family.


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Item #5469205678597
For the romantic in your family.

A Dark Friday for the Space Center. So Rare.

Hello Troops,
Only a few times a year is complete quiet heard on a Friday at the Space Center. Today is one of those rare Fridays.

The school is quiet, the Space Center empty, except for me. Here I sit, keeping company with the ghosts of Central's teachers past. They roam the hallways when all are gone, looking for escape from their self inflicted torment. I hear them from time to time, crying in anguish behind locked classroom doors. It seems this school has become a special purgatory to punish teachers for the evil they inflicted upon students during their mortal years.


The ghosts ignore me. I don't know why. Perhaps they sense my impending membership in their Society of Anguishing Teachers. If so, then I state here and now that they have been sorely misinformed. What evil have I done to students? Yes, I've done my fair share of dispensing stern lectures for misbehavior. I've given countless dictionary pages to be copied by incorrigible students. And yes, my tongue has released several arrows of extreme sarcasm into many a deserving student's psyche. It is an survival skill I learned in 1983 during my first year teaching the 6th grade. Sarcasm has kept me sane during the ups and downs of almost 30 school years, to the dismay of many a bully and miscreant.


I stand guilty as charged if these be the sins which anchor a teacher's soul to this world. I'll challenge the Gate Keeper to show me a teacher who hasn't when my time comes. If one can't be found, then I shall ask him to step aside and let me pass.

To all the Space Center's Staff and Volunteers, I wish you a happy Dark Friday. My work here is done for the day and I leave the building to my vaporous colleagues.

Mr. Williamson

The Ghost Teacher

The school is closed, the children gone,

But the ghost of a teacher lingers on.

As the daylight fades, as the daytime ends,
As the night draws in and the dark descends,

She stands in the class room, as clear as glass,

And calls the names of her absent class.

The school is shut, the children grown,

But the ghost of the teacher all alone,

Puts the date on the board and moves about

(As the night draws in and the stars come out)

Between desks -A glow in the gloom-

And calls for quite in the silent room.

The school is a ruin, the children fled,

But the ghost of the teacher, long time dead,

As the moon comes up and the first owls glide,

Puts on her coat and steps outside.

In the moonlit playground, shadow free,

She stands on duty with a cup of tea.

The school is forgotten -the children forget-

But the ghost of a teacher, lingers yet.

As the night creeps up to the edge of day,

She tidies the Plasticine away;

Counts the scissors -a shimmer of glass-

And says, "Off you go!" to her absent class.

She utters the words that no one hears.

Picks up her bag...

And

Disappears.

Allan Ahlberg