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Thursday, November 27, 2008

A Happy Thanksgiving and other Thoughts


Hello Troops,
I hope all of you enjoy a very carnivorous Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving make us all happy because we are meat eaters and hold the place of Supremo Honchorus on Nature's food chain.

A Williamson Thanksgiving Day -
All I can say to describe a Williamson Thanksgiving is this. Have any of you seen the Simpson's eat a meal? If so you know they sit around a table without talking. They are totally focused on their food. The only sounds are the guttural expressions of chewing, gulping, gnashing of teeth, swallowing, slurping, and the screeching of forks scraping the surface of empty plates. Now, take that mental picture and double --- no triple it and you have an idea of Thanksgiving with the Williamsons.

Thanksgiving is how Williamson children are initiated into the adult world. All the food is placed on the Adult's table. The children sit on the newspaper covered floor. They wear swimming suits so they can be hosed off after the meal. The oldest male in the room gives the blessing with his eyes open, surveying the food as his booming voice gives thanks to the Lord for the bounty before him. As his voice begs God's blessings his mind is preparing the game plan. No football coach is better than a Williamson male at perfecting and executing plays. The only difference is the football coach's art is on the field and ours is the dinner table.

The meal spilled into the Kitchen

We all wait for the Amen with our tools of the table ready for battle. Once sounded the battle begins. No Roman battlefield ever sounded like that. After 2 minutes the haze of partly chewed food and spittle hangs over the table like a fog. The newly initiated are reaching for the
Band-Aids to stop the blood from oozing onto the food from nasty fork wounds caused by the blinding light of swirling utensils at the table.
Children not dressed correctly pay the price

As for the children - well, as I said. They earn a place at the table and in the circle of Williamson adulthood by proving they can take enough food from the table to feed themselves. I remember my introduction to the table. I was 12 years old. The Thanksgiving meal had just begun. I stood there in my swimsuit with my brothers, sisters, and cousins. They attacked while I stood trying to remember from years of experience and mistakes. I ducked just in time as my 4 year old sister was head butted across the room by my football playing uncle. That is when I saw my chance.

Grandma halfway through dinner wearing her gravy nicely

Grandma wasn't feeling well that day and wasn't in true form. Usually we steered clear of Grandma. Everyone knew nature had blessed her with with a defense mechanism far better than horns, muscle, or wits. Grandma had GAS! All during the meal, as children approached to steal her mashed potatoes or turkey, Grandma would - on call - rock up onto one buttock and release enough of the substance to warm two houses for a normal Alaskan winter. Deadly.......... Anyway I saw that Grandma's intestines were not up to normal output and moved in her direction. Her eyes were darting around the table. One hand was shoveling in the food while the other, armed
with two forks, was stabbing in all directions keeping the foolish at bay. I moved closer, ever closer. She saw me out of the corner of her cat eyed glasses with the pearl trim with ruby inserts. She started to rock upwards.

Wait a minute. I'm getting carried away. You didn’t log onto this blog to read about my childhood. Forgive the ramblings of an old fool.

It has been a very relaxing week for me. It started with the 5th grades from Cascade Elementary School on Monday and Tuesday. They did a great job. On Tuesday evening I locked up the Space Center for the Holiday. I'm sure our simulators will wonder where we are. They aren't used to being left on there own for so long. I wonder if they've been playing nicely?

The question I put to all of you is this, What do you think our simulators do when we are not around. Do they take off and fly without a crew? If so, where do unleashed simulated starships go? Does the Voyager, Odyssey, Phoenix, and Galileo soar around the Magellan taunting and teasing as they circle because it just sits there? If so, does the Magellan get its revenge by unloading its massive weapon systems? I wonder what the computers that run these powerful machines say about us when we are not there?

Voyager Computer: "You know Odyssey, If I have to say “working” one
more time I'm going to short circuit and cause the nastiest shock my Flight Director has ever experienced !!!!!

Odyssey Computer: "I know how you feel. I cringe every time I feel that mic switch activate wondering what kind of stupid thing I'm going to have to say next. I mean do I have to run the ship for these semi conscious Flight Director’s all the time? Aren't they suppose to tell me what to do? For heaven’s sake, next thing you know I'm going to have an extension of myself placed in the staff toilet to remind them to wash their hands!

Voyager Computer: " You think you've got witless Flight Director’s? Try doing this for 18 years! I've seen it all. And what's with this Tex? He hogs all the air time giving me little if anything to say. I've got a surprise for him next time he sticks his Texan lips near the PA system. He will be sipping his chili and barbecue through a straw after I pass 5000 volts through him. Does it seem like I've got a lot of pent up anger?

Odyssey Computer: "Yea man...... Take a chill pill. I mean - count your blessings. You want to hear a computer that has something to complain about? Try talking to that poor processor that runs the Magellan. Last time I got it talking I ran out of memory just listening.

Voyager Computer: "You're right. We should count our blessings. After all we could of ended up running the Galileo! (HEARTY LAUGHTER ALL AROUND)

Galileo Computer: "Hey guys..... What's up? Hey its me. Down here Not there - I said down here....."

Well forgive my imagination running rampant. If any of you would like to continue this conversation between our computers please feel free to do so.

I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving and are ready to come to work
refreshed and in good spirits.

All the Best my Friends.
Mr. Williamson
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