Dreading the Return to School Are We? A Letter from the Minister of Education.

Hello Troops,

I spoke to a few former students as I left the school today (yes, it may come as a shock, but some of us have to work for a living). They were hanging out on the playground. They were having a good time until I asked if they were ready to go back to school. Wow, talk about a mood changer. The air suddenly got dark. They described what seemed to be a concentration camp where their freedoms were suspended and they had to 'tow the mark' or else. Of course everything they said was exaggerated but it did get me thinking, and when I start thinking you'd better expect a post.

So, in the spirit of good fun, I wrote this letter to those students from the school they described to me.

Mr. W.

P.S. Thanks to thepeoplescube.com for a few of the pictures below.

This message was brought to you by
The Ministry of Truth, Education and Propaganda (Minitrue).
We Think, So You Don't Have To.

A Message from

Silas T. Sludge
Minister of Truth, Education and Propaganda
Pleasant Grove

Attention All Students:

School vacation is coming to an end. As the Minister of Education I urge to put away your newly acquired distractions (given to you for no apparent reason other than you were born) and reacquaint yourselves with your textbooks and school schedules.

All students are ordered to return to our schools Monday morning displaying happy and cheerful dispositions. Of course, once the bell rings, you will immediately take your learning positions as displayed in the photograph above, taken from your Good Student Handbook issued at the start of the school year.

Any student caught in any state of semiconsciousness will be dealt with according to the rules and regulations outlined on pages 10 through 15 in your handbook. Discussions of what you did during the holiday are permitted in the common areas and cafeteria only.

Remember the sacrifice society has made to ensure you have a good school to attend. Think of your parents working day in and day out without complaining so you have this opportunity. An opportunity many children do not have. Look how tired they are at the end of their work day - all for you.

How will you thank them for this sacrifice? Will you toil forward, always forward, toward the end goal of graduation and finding a meaningful role to fill in our society? It is expected.


This is Albert Slipple. He exemplifies the Ministry's idea of a proper student. He rises early and fixes breakfast for himself, his brothers and sisters and his working parents. He does the dishes before leaving his modest apartment for the six mile walk to school. He keeps himself company on the long arduous trek by singing songs of courage and steadfastness. His grades are always top of the class. He sings in the school choir. He helps the school custodians. He works with the school's headmaster by reporting on students that have forgotten the rules as outlined in his well worn and memorized Good Student Handbook.

Delma Dropsley, on the other hand, is a student recommended for special care as outlined in your Good Student Handbook. She is often late for school and becomes distracted easily. She has been known to question the rules and has used unapproved colors in her science notebook. She has also been found on numerous occasions loitering outside one of the city's schools after school hours instead of working at home on her homework. Such behavior cannot be tolerated.

Remember, school is a happy place. It is your home away from home. It is a place deserving your love and complete and undivided attention. It is a place where you can forget who you are and focus instead on what is expected of you. It is a place where the confusion of free thinking is shackled and replaced the knowledge that we will do the thinking for you.

If you find yourself questioning this, please report your disturbing thoughts to a teacher, headmaster, custodian or lunch lady. We are here to help you be happy and have ways to help clear your thoughts from distractions. You must trust us.

Welcome Back to Where you Belong!

Signed,
Silas T. Sludge

ALERT....... ALERT...... ALERT.......

You were caught snickering during the reading of this letter. This is a violation of the Good Student Handbook. You have been reported. Your misconduct number is below:


Follow the instructions as given in your certificate of misconduct. And shame on you.

_________________________________________________________________


Hello Again Troops,
Well, did I get it right? How many of you are feeling the dread of returning to our "mind control factories"? It's not so bad. Think if it this way - summer vacation is a mere five months away!

And how about a bit of tele from the Imaginarium to brighten this cold day? This clip comes from the Imaginarium's Comedy School. It is the kind of school where your can let your imagination run wild to produce some very clever things.

Mr. W.

P.S. Cloverleaks revealed what really happened on Millstone Road.
http://ourcloverdale.blogspot.com/2011/01/cloverleaks-brings-you-truth-about.html

The Wednesday of our Content.

Ever feel that's you in the boat?

Did you say every Monday morning?

Hello Troops,

I met with the Set and many of the Flight Directors yesterday at the Space Center. We discussed our upcoming Summer Camp Season for 2011. Each simulator is preparing a new mission for the camps. The stories, on first listen, sound really good. It will be a summer camp you'll not want to miss so plan on registering at the end of January when the Camp Registration From appears on the Space Center's web site.

Are you all enjoying your holiday vacation? It is good to have down time, because we all know the saying, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." At least I hope you've heard that saying before. I'm not too sure when in comes to Utah. It was something I heard all the time in South Dakota (where I was raised). Mind you, we said several other things in South Dakota that could never be said in Utah. And don't think it was because that's all us hicks from the great plains could do was cuss up a tempest. We drove cattle, farmed, rode horseback and whittled to pass the time of day.

Our teacher didn't stand fer cussin.
He died of consumption during my second time 'round the 8th grade.

I learned my letters, numbers, ciphering and divining in that school house.
See how we cleaned up for the photo?
Told ya we could.

We knew how to talk refined if we had to. Our teacher at the school house didn't stand fer cussin. Got yer hand swatted if ya did. I'll also have you know that we cleaned up real pretty when we went into town. And I'll have you know my Ma taught me to memory many a verse from the Good Book that I could recite without a stammer when called upon. Won a ribbon for it I did at the Pennington County Fair. They heard me preaching the Word all the way to the cattle judgin. They were mightily impressed. Them Lutherans that sponsored the Bible Readin presented me with the blue ribbon and a silk bow tie worn proudly even today on the days when I clean up to go to WalMart.

How about a few things to occupy a few minutes of your time today since there isn't much else to say from the Space Center?

Item one for your amusement. This is a short video showing you the luckiest people on the planet for 2010. Watch and see if you don't agree. Yes, some of them are darn lucky to be alive at all.




Item 2 on our agenda today - The Dalek. The greatest threat to humanity in the Universe. Yes I threw that out there and dare all of you sci fi fans that think differently to prove me wrong.


Item 3 on our agenda. This comes from the Imaginarium. The first Etch a Sketch, steam driven no less!


Item 4. Racing up the stairs the way it should be done. I believe all outdoor staircases should be painted like this to encourage exercise. Right now I'm thinking the one staircase I raced up the most - the one from the P.E. buildings (Richards Building) at BYU up to the main campus. Anyone else ever race up those when you were a student there?


Item 5. I know the characters that live in South Park are disrespectful and very crude and I'm really not a fan of the show but I thought this was worthy of a posting. I enjoy this because these lawn decorations are very different from the usual we get around here in Pleasant Grove (the inflatable figures and the wire reindeer complete with lights). If it shows real imagination and creativity then Its worthy of mention in my book.


Item 6: Flight Director Bracken Funk, playing for the Fresno Bulldogs is moving up in the rankings. Bracken will be rejoining our line up of flight directors for the summer season. He currently goes to school and plays basketball for Fresno State in California. Congratulations Bracken! (You see, you can be a jock and a nerd. The two are not incompatible).

And finally, a friendly reminder....

I never do :)

Mr. W.

P.S. Just out of curiosity, anyone get the title of this post? A hearty handshake from me if you do.

The Best Way to Start your Week. (If you said reading The Troubadour, then You're Right!)

Hello Troops,
It's Monday and we have another week off from school. I'll be at the Center off and on this week getting things ready for January and meeting with the staff as we plan our summer camp schedule. Yep, its time to start thinking about summer.

Here's hoping you all enjoyed your Christmas. If you got everything you asked for then the only thing I have to say is "You're Spoiled!". If you didn't then welcome to my world - the real world where people are used to disappointment, where people have to work for a living, toiling day and night so people like you CAN BE SPOILED.

Mind you, I'm not a complainer. I think I better described as a martyr.

OK, who am I kidding? I really had a good Christmas with family and friends.

Let's start this Monday with a few chuckles.


From the Imaginarium we have these two entries for your viewing pleasure. This is the best use of excessive snow I've ever seen. On the top you've got R2D2 and on the bottom you've got Jabba, the Hut. Wouldn't it be cool if these to homes were across the street from each other?

Now, from the "Cooking for the Holiday's" class I wouldn't have taken even if there was such a thing offered in Pleasant Grove, comes these cookies perfect for the Christmas Humbug like me. Clever is the only word for these and if you decide to bake them yourself I'd better get one, even if it means making an out of the way stop at the Space Center to deliver it.

Finally, this is the kind of soccer we played in South Dakota while I was growing up. None of this wimpy flat field soccer you folks play here in Utah. Oh, did I ever mention that we use to walk 15 miles, uphill in both directions, to school and back. Oh, and did I mention the log cabin I was raised in, complete with spaces between the logs for our shot guns to ward off Indian attacks?

If not, remind me the next time you have 2 or 3 hours and I'll be happy to share my recollections of growing up in the Dakotas.


If you have a minute, stop by and visit me at Cloverdale. I'm there this whole week, except for the brief visits to the Space Center. Today you'll get to meet a young man who suffers from a disfiguring apparel handicap. Such a pity for one so young.

http://www.ourcloverdale.blogspot.com/

Have a great day troops!

Mr. W.