Advancements from the Front Lines.

Hello Troops,
The Space Center is engaged in a war against Imagination's foes. Recently we took advantage of a lull in battle to award advancements to several of our front line troops. Each honoree was given a two day pass for a little rest and relaxation in beautiful Pleasant Grove. Their liberty pass included a hot shower, hot meal, shave and a clean uniform.


This is Sub Private Connor Jones receiving his Year of Service Pin. Connor's excitement isn't reflected in his vacant expression. After one year on the front, Connor is showing signs of shell shock and fatigue. Our medical staff recommend a leave of absence. Connor would hear none of it. He left our underground bunker right after receiving his pin, determined to get back to his unit. Jon stopped him at the door to the outside world.

"Here Connor, take the overnight camp's left overs."

Connor was grateful. He opened the hatch to the outside world beyond the Space Center's Command Bunker. The sound of distant explosions, accompanied by bright flashes of light filled the foyer. He fastened his helmet, took a deep breath of our heavily filtered air, and stepped out into the smoke and dust. Jon resealed the hatch and returned to the war room to make plans for our next offensive.

Private Hailey Hadley received her Year Pin at the same ceremony. Hailey works in Intelligence, and dreams of serving as a Unit Commander. Courtesy laughing at Mr. Williamson's often repeated jokes is one way she hopes to be noticed and move ahead. Everyone knows that laughing at anything Mr. Williamson says is required if one wants to be promoted.

Abram is receiving a Battle Field Promotion to Commander (notice the blue shirt in Mr. Williamson's hand). Abram distinguishes himself on the front, leading charge after charge against ignorance's formidable forces. We have high hopes for Abram.


Lt. Matt Ricks received his Year Pin. Lt. Ricks is in charge of technology. He originally signed up for front line duty. He was brought back to Headquarters in a delirious and disoriented state after two days on the Front. Paranoia took root in his mind, a common occurrence caused by taking enemy fire from all directions. He still has trust issues - as seen above.

Andrew received his Voyager Pin. Some on our staff think he may be a secret KAOS agent, embedded here at Headquarters and entrusted with a mission to stop Imagination's Forces and deliver the world to Ignorance and mental poverty. I have yet to see evidence of that. Although I do recall he refused to shake my hand at the ceremony. He seemed rather pleased with himself.

Private Caitlynn is confused. Commander Devin even more so. Caitlynn wonders why Devin is taking so long to fasten the pin. Devin has a slight problem with dexterity, as his platoon discovered the first time he tried to throw a grenade. The grenade landed at his feet. He panicked and kicked it towards his comrades in the bunker. Thankfully someone picked the grenade up and threw it out of the bunker, into the open field.

Devin was transferred to Headquarters.

Five minutes and several of Mr. Williamson's jokes later, the pin was attached without drawing blood. Caitlynn was gratefully for small blessings.

Dave Daymont, Phoenix Set Director, is seen giving Hayley Warner her Phoenix Pin.
Hayley is working hard to become a Phoenix Flight Director. Until then, its back into her camouflage and a ticket back to the front lines.


Private Michaela receiving her Galileo Pin from Set Director Stacy. Michaela is yet to spend time on the front. Stacy knew this and managed to muster a reassuring smile, knowing all too well what awaited this poor new recruit.

Private Nabil received his Galileo Pin. Nabil is an excellent double agent. He is the boy of many faces. One minute he passes for one of Imagination's top soldiers, but when needed, he can look as blank and lifeless as anyone living behind enemy lines.

And finally Aliah. Private Aliah received her Galileo Pin from Stacy during one of September's Overnight Camps. She accepted the award on behalf of her squadron.

"My unit is fighting scientific illiteracy at this very moment." She spoke fondly of her friends. "I accept this award for them."

And Yet, Another Overnight Camp.

Hello Troops,
Some weekend Overnight Camps are better than others. Many factors determine whether we label a camp great, good, so so, bad, and "Its every man for himself!". One of those factors is the amount of mental effort and patience it takes to put the younglings to bed. Tonight's bed time saga has been a test of my strength to manage a smile when all I want to do is verbally strike back with lightening sarcasm meant to disable anyone with a question the moment his arm goes up.

So far tonight....

"Mr. Williamson. That kid over there was using a bad word during the mission."

"Mr. Williamson. That kid over there was making fun of us in the bathroom."

"Mr. Williamson, I didn't bring a sleeping bag and pillow. I thought the Space Center had beds."

(2nd boy chimes in) "Mr. Williamson, me too."

"Mr. Williamson, we need to go to the bathroom."

Those words were spoken by one of the three boys I assigned to sleep on the Voyager's Bridge closest to the two chaperons. They were the ones mouthing off in the boy's bathroom earlier this evening. I specifically told all the boys just thirty minutes earlier that one of my biggest pet peeves were kids coming to tell me they needed to get a drink or use the restroom MOMENTS after putting them down for the night. Remember, the boys all get a bathroom break right before we put them to bed. I tell them three or four times during that break that "This is your LAST bathroom break."

Of course, our campers are allowed to use the bathroom and get a drink during the night. My point is this, they shouldn't have to use it right after they got a bathroom break. One goes, then another, then another.... It is there way of staying up later and roaming the school's halls. Yes, I'm on to their game.

Let's leave that one and move along.....

Coming from the staff and volunteers:
"Mr. Williamson, there aren't anymore pads."

Ah, the age old lack of pads. The Space Center staff sleeps on these flimsy, disintegrating pads purchased from the U.S. Government's Auction of Civil War Surplus. You could tell the pads once had padding. Now they provide a semi porous fabric shield against the industrial carpet the District uses to carpet its schools. Someone weighing 25 pounds might feel something akin to comfort when sleeping on one of them. Anyone weighing more might as well just sleep on the floor. Anyway, we ran out of the pads tonight. This weekend a larger percentage of staff chose to stay here at the Center. Perhaps its because its LDS Conference Weekend, and if they go home, their parents may insist they return right after the Overnight Camp for the Saturday afternoon session.

The boys are in bed and its strangely quiet - odd for 12:31 A.M. They are either in the advanced stage of mischief making or they really are taking pity on an old guy who seriously needs a bit of sleep to recharge his patience.

Mr. W.

P.S. Post Update. It's almost time to get the kids up. They actually went to bed very well. The staff got the sleep they needed and my patience batteries are fully charged. It appears to be the start of a good Saturday (yikes, did I just curse myself?).

Comet Elenin. Our Doomsday Comet?

Elenin is Coming!

Hello Troops,
We've survived the alignment of death with the mysterious Elenin, the comet of death, or is it the brown star of the Apocalypse? Regardless, the internet rumor mill has been churning out videos and articles on NASA's supposed big cover up concerning a very dangerous (disappointing) comet heading to within 22 million miles of Earth. The comet finished its swing around the sun and is heading this way! (screaming allowed at this point. Please be sure not to faint of fright without checking for sharp objects in your fall zone).

What the fear mongers can't or won't tell you is that the Sun had its way with poor Elenin, leaving it a snowflake of its former self. It will continue on its way, obliviously to the panic it inspired on Earth's gullible who believe that if they see it on the internet and YouTube, then it must be real.

"I seen it!" is their typical response when their facts are challenged by those of us who are baptized true blue skeptics and take the time to check facts before jumping to conclusions.

One such video posted earlier this week reported that many high ranking government officials were on vacation this week. Could it be that this is the normal September vacation for Congress, or could they know something we don't? That must be it. Why believe the obvious? Surely the most complicated explanation for "their" actions must be correct because reasonable explanations are boring and don't sell ads on web sites or hits on the YouTube.

So, to my friends and associates who are frantically digging their backyard survival shelters, please stop and relax. All will be well. Call me when you see or hear an internet story of something coming to rain death and destruction on Earth. I'll check it out and get back to you. And if I don't get back to you, then you have my permission to panic.

And now, how about a few items from the Imaginarium.

Brilliant in design and imagination.

The moral of this story is.
1. Don't spend money you haven't earned. How do you think we got into this recession anyway?
2 Don't buy things you don't need. What a waste of resources. Give up trying to keep up with the neighbors. Let THEM go to bed worrying how they're going to pay for their expensive home and toys. Remember, you really don't like them anyway.

Just leave it.

"Will you slow down! Where's the Fire!!"