Waiting on the World to Change

How the World Might End? A Beginner's Guide.

Hello Troops,
Before we get into the day's post, I'd like to announce our next Open Mission scheduled for March 29, 6:15 to 8:45 P.M. Please visit our web site's Parties page for more information on Open Missions. Beware, you'll have to work for the information Scrolling down the page will be required. You could work up quite an appetite.


Norman Rockwell was kind enough to illustrate with canvas and oils how news and gossip spreads around the Space Center when the staff and volunteers are too lazy to obtain information from the Space Center's most trusted news source, The Troubadour!

If you seek enlightenment, if you want to know Space Center truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, I suggest you go to the horse's mouth. Let The Troubadour be your light in the dark world of misinformation, useless information, and down right viral gossip which hasn't a footing in reality.

Things to Worry You into Sleeplessness

The end of mankind has been preached from every pulpit for centuries and taken as gospel by Christians, Jews and Muslims. Knowing it is inevitable, the question we should ask "Will our demise be by fire or ice?". Or will our extinction come from a source not expected.

Perhaps one day I'll wake up, step outside to pick up the morning paper and see a biplane circling overhead trailing a long banner reading, "This is the last thing you are going to see". Then BANG, everything around me will decay into computer code. And for one brief instance before oblivion, I'll know that someone, somewhere just hit the delete button......

What does science say about humanity's boogie man? What are the facts? Let's take a moment and look at the nasty things out there that might be the cause of the worst day of your life.

We start with the Catastrophometer Ratings


OK, here comes your first nightmare....


Ouch. Nasty. I must admit that sliding into a tear in Space Time might be the best way to go - the ultimate roller coaster.

What's next. Hit me.


A Super Volcano several hundred miles from Pleasant Grove?! I have earthquake insurance on my home, but I don't recall Allied Insurance offering Super Volcano insurance. I don't fancy meeting eternity under several tons of volcanic ash. Pompeii did that - so going out this way isn't original or creative. I think I'll pass on this one.

Next....


This one may be the one that gets us if this past winter is any indication of what the summer will be like. I'm anticipating July temperatures hitting 130 degrees. Talk about road rage! Imagine getting stuck in a traffic jam on I15 when its 120 plus outside (150 on the pavement) and your cars overheats.

Next, something we can understand at the Space Center.

We prepare for this every day at the Space Center. I suggest you seek safety at the Space Center if you wake up one morning and a find large alien mother ship hovering over your local high school. We have five starships equipped with photon torpedoes, phasers, and warp speed in case our attackers overwhelm our defenses.

The Space Center also has the only reliable star maps showing where the nearest inhabited worlds are located.

Again, the Space Center has an edge on this. Remember, we have intelligent, benevolent, compassionate and human friendly computers in our Starships. We will unleash the almighty Apple ARU 3000 Artificial Intelligent Unit on any super computer that attempts a coup on humanity.

Deadly asteroids can make for a very bad day, just ask the dinasours. Again we have our starships.

Now we have a problem. The Space Center has advanced medicine we dispense during every mission (the magic of M&Ms). While filled with comforting chocolate, I doubt they could stand against a super bug. I'm ordering a few gallons of hand sanitizer and reconsidering the number of times per week I have contact with other humans after reading about this potential game changer.

A Supernova is something we deal with every week at the Space Center. Let's not forget that Dr. Jenkins is on our side. A Supernova may fry the Romulans (they have Dr. Marcus), but I feel confident Dr. Jenkins will provide plenty of warning.

But wait, even if he warns us, who do we protect ourselves from a Supernova explosion? I feel a gloom growing in my gut.



I don't get this one at all. I don't want to be turned into a ball of 'grey goo'.
Down with Nanites.

Let's remember to enjoy life and live everyday as if it were your last. It just might be!

Mr. W

What you may have missed on Friday's Overnight Camp

A Secret Revealed and Blackmail Hemmed with
Bribery Caught on Camera!

Mr. Williamson caught in the act of blackmail

"Mr. Williamson?" Marissa interrupted me at my desk.
"Yes Marissa?" I responded.
"I know."
"You know what?" I wondered what it was she knew.
"You know what I know, and I know you do."
"No Marissa, I don't know what you know. How am I suppose to know what you know. Now run along and bother someone else." There was an awkward pause. She didn't budge.
She half whispered. "I know about your addiction."
"Addiction? Marissa, I'm a well respected teacher, a registered Star Trek Fan and life long supported of Tibet's Freedom from Chinese control. How could I have an addiction? Who told you I had an addiction problem?"
"Let's just say a little bird told me from my window sill." Marissa smiled and tapped the side of her nose with her index finger, the universal sign for the Universal Society of Secret Knowers.
"My patience is quickly evaporating. If you have a point to make, then I suggest you MAKE IT?"

Marissa was holding something behind her back throughout our short conversation. My challenge forced her to play her hand. She produced a box of Girl Scout cookies - Thin Mints to be exact.
My face went white. I knew the proverbial cat was out of the bag. If she knew about my addiction to Thin Mints, then who else might know? Marissa examined my reaction with pleasure.

"I see your breathing harder, and is that sweat building on your forehead?" She pointed to the top of my head.
"Curse you Marissa!" I spat.
"Oh, plenty of time for that." She held the box out for me to take. "I see by your reaction to this last available box of Girl Scout Thin Mints for the 2012 selling season that you're in a world of hurt. I hear withdrawal from Thin Mints can be uncomfortable - to say the least. An experience you'd want to avoid at all costs."
"What do you want?" I spoke in a hushed tone, knowing anyone could walk by the desk.
"I'll let this lovely box of Heaven's Joy go for...... Let's see - how about you give me one of those nearly impossible to get Magellan staff positions for tonight's Overnight Camp. Your generous act might convince me to let you adopt this little box of decadence."
"Do you know how many people want to work in the Magellan?! Am I to ignore them and give you a spot just because you have a box of cook....coo....cookie......cookies in your hand?" I stammered with drool.
"Got that in one. Good job Mr. Williamson. Now let's finish this little transaction so we can both walk away happy. I get the Magellan and you get to sulk away to the school's boiler room to feed your nasty little habit."
"You know about the boiler room?"
"My source tells me that last September school district plumbers found sixteen empty boxes of Thin Mints from last year's selling season in the school's basement boiler room? Nobody knew what to make of it - but I knew where they came from. Now, do we have a deal?"
"I'm better than this." I protested in embarrassment that my one true weakness had been discovered.
"No you're not." Marissa was not one to confuse kindness with plain speaking. "Do we have a deal?"
What choice did I have. "Deal."

I took the box. Marissa smacked her lips in victory, half curtsied and walked away to the Magellan. A moment later I was in my cement corner of Central's basement.

Megan's Act of Selflessness, Caught on Camera

Megan Warner is a perfect example of selflessness. Here we see her directing a Phoenix mission. Behind her sits Andrew - an observer. Yes, you read correctly. Andrew is an observer.

Look closely at the photo. I know it's difficult to see, but notice that Megan is sitting on a hard wooden stool. Notice that Andrew is sitting on the over cushioned and decadently stuffed Phoenix Flight Director's chair. I took my camera and snapped the photo to share with our righteously intelligent Troubadour readers.

If you need a car, ask Megan.
If you need money, ask Megan.
If you need advice, ask Megan.
If you need a shoulder to cry on, ask Megan.

I exaggerate to a fault in an effort to make my point, but what I'm absolutely sure of is this; If you come to the Space Center hungry and see Megan with her bag of Malt O Meal cereal, milk, bowl and spoon - ask for some. She'll had hers right over. Yes, she'll give you the cereal right out of her mouth; that's how generous this modern saint is.

Colton Risks Life and Limb for our Campers

This is Colton. Colton gets the Extra Mile Award for this weekend's Overnight Camp In this photo you see Colton spelunking into the mysterious depths under Central Elementary School's stage.

The Westfield Elementary students had just been assigned to their ships when I called the staff to the gym to set up the sleeping cots. We keep our cots in pull out carriers. The carriers slide in and out from under the school's stage. One of the carriers got stuck and wouldn't come out far enough to get the cots. My first thought was to call for Pleasant Grove's Fire Brigade.

"Not so fast!" Colton jumped into the carrier and went down flat to his belly. "Let an army man take care of this."

"I urge caution," I cautioned Colton. "Nobody knows what lives down there." Colton shrugged and started forward.

"Stop, at least let me send someone to fetch one of my mother's canaries. Coal miners used canaries deep in the mines to test the air. You got out of their fast if your canary snuffed it."
"You got an air mask?" Colton countered.
"No."
"Then I'm going in. Live dangerously I always say!"

Colton disappeared under the stage.
"Anyone know his next of kin?" I asked the gathered staff and volunteers. They shrugged a no.
"Who's going in after him if he doesn't come out?" Nabil's voice shook with fear knowing he was the smallest and therefore my answer would be him.

We heard a voice from the dark. "Pull!" We pulled on Colton's command. The carrier slid out holding a dirty Colton and several of the Center's sleeping cots.

Colton earned the Federation's Extra Mile Service Award for courage in the face of UnderSchoolStageCreepyCrawlees. He tread where few go lightly. It is a well deserved honor.

An Attempt on Mr. Williamson's Pride.
The Miscreant Caught. Bail Posted. Beware.

I asked Scott Warner to set up my table for Overnight Camper Sign Ins. This was the result. Please pay close attention to the two legs. See anything suspicious? The legs were not extended properly, nor were they locked into place. This table would have collapsed on me during signing in. I would have leaned forward and Bang, the table and I would have ended on the floor. The injuries to my pride could have been fatal.

I could tell by Scott's reaction to my taking the picture that he knew, I knew it was no accident. I called for Voyager Security. The Voyager's two unsuspecting Security boys were pulled from their birthday party mission and brought into the gym. I ordered them to arrest Scott and put him in the Voyager's brig until I could decide what to do with him.

I'm open to your suggestions. Email them. Until then, Scott is to be considered dangerous and armed with a better than average intelligence. He is out on bail at the moment.

Aliah Earns A Phoenix Pin.

A Phoenix Pass Pin was awarded to Aliah E. on Saturday morning during our "We Survived Another Overnight Camp" post camp meeting. Megan Warner awarded the pin due to the fact that the Phoenix's Set Director wasn't in attendance. Dave and his wife were up late Friday night attending a Relationship Seminar for Couples sponsored by his local LDS ward.

"Don't ask," was Dave's response to my question about the seminar when he arrived for the Saturday private missions. My hat is off to the brethren of that ward who attended with their wives.

Aliah is one of the Center's top volunteers. Congratulations Aliah on earning the pin and getting Megan to smile while giving it to you. Megan guards the Phoenix Pins with her life and finds having her teeth drilled without the benefit of Novocain and parting with a Phoenix Pin both in the same category of discomfort.