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Tuesday, March 20, 2012

How the World Might End? A Beginner's Guide.

Hello Troops,
Before we get into the day's post, I'd like to announce our next Open Mission scheduled for March 29, 6:15 to 8:45 P.M. Please visit our web site's Parties page for more information on Open Missions. Beware, you'll have to work for the information Scrolling down the page will be required. You could work up quite an appetite.

Norman Rockwell was kind enough to illustrate with canvas and oils how news and gossip spreads around the Space Center when the staff and volunteers are too lazy to obtain information from the Space Center's most trusted news source, The Troubadour!

If you seek enlightenment, if you want to know Space Center truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, I suggest you go to the horse's mouth. Let The Troubadour be your light in the dark world of misinformation, useless information, and down right viral gossip which hasn't a footing in reality.

Things to Worry You into Sleeplessness

The end of mankind has been preached from every pulpit for centuries and taken as gospel by Christians, Jews and Muslims. Knowing it is inevitable, the question we should ask "Will our demise be by fire or ice?". Or will our extinction come from a source not expected.

Perhaps one day I'll wake up, step outside to pick up the morning paper and see a biplane circling overhead trailing a long banner reading, "This is the last thing you are going to see". Then BANG, everything around me will decay into computer code. And for one brief instance before oblivion, I'll know that someone, somewhere just hit the delete button......

What does science say about humanity's boogie man? What are the facts? Let's take a moment and look at the nasty things out there that might be the cause of the worst day of your life.

We start with the Catastrophometer Ratings

OK, here comes your first nightmare....

Ouch. Nasty. I must admit that sliding into a tear in Space Time might be the best way to go - the ultimate roller coaster.

What's next. Hit me.

A Super Volcano several hundred miles from Pleasant Grove?! I have earthquake insurance on my home, but I don't recall Allied Insurance offering Super Volcano insurance. I don't fancy meeting eternity under several tons of volcanic ash. Pompeii did that - so going out this way isn't original or creative. I think I'll pass on this one.


This one may be the one that gets us if this past winter is any indication of what the summer will be like. I'm anticipating July temperatures hitting 130 degrees. Talk about road rage! Imagine getting stuck in a traffic jam on I15 when its 120 plus outside (150 on the pavement) and your cars overheats.

Next, something we can understand at the Space Center.

We prepare for this every day at the Space Center. I suggest you seek safety at the Space Center if you wake up one morning and a find large alien mother ship hovering over your local high school. We have five starships equipped with photon torpedoes, phasers, and warp speed in case our attackers overwhelm our defenses.

The Space Center also has the only reliable star maps showing where the nearest inhabited worlds are located.

Again, the Space Center has an edge on this. Remember, we have intelligent, benevolent, compassionate and human friendly computers in our Starships. We will unleash the almighty Apple ARU 3000 Artificial Intelligent Unit on any super computer that attempts a coup on humanity.

Deadly asteroids can make for a very bad day, just ask the dinasours. Again we have our starships.

Now we have a problem. The Space Center has advanced medicine we dispense during every mission (the magic of M&Ms). While filled with comforting chocolate, I doubt they could stand against a super bug. I'm ordering a few gallons of hand sanitizer and reconsidering the number of times per week I have contact with other humans after reading about this potential game changer.

A Supernova is something we deal with every week at the Space Center. Let's not forget that Dr. Jenkins is on our side. A Supernova may fry the Romulans (they have Dr. Marcus), but I feel confident Dr. Jenkins will provide plenty of warning.

But wait, even if he warns us, who do we protect ourselves from a Supernova explosion? I feel a gloom growing in my gut.

I don't get this one at all. I don't want to be turned into a ball of 'grey goo'.
Down with Nanites.

Let's remember to enjoy life and live everyday as if it were your last. It just might be!

Mr. W

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