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Saturday, March 3, 2012

The Great Fish, Shipwreaked in Matrimony Cove (And Other News).

Kyle (The Fish) Herring and Michelle Hinman,
his soon to be Better Half (and I'm not kidding)

Hello Troops,
Our news begins with the shocking revelation that confirmed bachelor, gentleman, scholar and resident Space Center political analyst has been lured by Siren song into the rocks of Sirenuse. Evidence of his bewitching is apparent on the ring finger of his fiancee, Michelle . Word has it Michelle is taking physical therapy to repair muscle damage to her arm and shoulder caused by the weight of the stone.

Yes friends, the Great Fish has been hooked! No one could be more pleased than Kyle Herring's mother.
"Finally!" she was overheard saying during a telephone call to Kyle's grandmother.
"Remember dear, with marriage comes the possibility of children," the kindly grandmother reminded her of the many family discussions held on the topic over the years.
"Oh, I forgot about that." Kyle's mother hung up and went for a long walk to consider the consequences of potential offspring.

"How did you manage to get her to give you the time of day?" one of Kyle's best friends asked after the news of the engagement was announced on Facebook.

"How could she resist me?" Kyle answered. "Look at this perfect specimen of Olympic grandeur." It is a well known fact that Kyle has always taken pride in his appearance.

His friend would have none of that. "No seriously, how did you get HER to give YOU the time of day??!!" He asked again while pondering the posted engagement photo.

OK, all teasing aside - all of us at the Space Center want to congratulate Kyle and Michelle on the occasion of their engagement. May they live long and prosper. The couple plan on making Orem their home. I tried to talk them into Pleasant Grove. After a ten minute fit of laughter they both said Orem has a much better zip code for someone of Kyle's up and coming status in the Republican party. After all, we all know Pleasant Grove is inhabited by a race of blue collar potato eaters :)

And now moving on.............

A TenYearer Captured and Honored!

Something as rare as a full solar eclipse on April Fool's Day occurred at the Space Center a week ago. A TenYearer was spotted, captured and honored at a short and simple ceremony held after last week's Overnight Camp. Matt Long received his Ten Year Gold Pin from Director Williamson. Director Williamson was quite please with himself for capturing this illusive TenYearer (as shown in his quite smug photo). Matt was found lurking about in the Computer Lab. Everyone knew he was there because computer programs kept appearing on the Center's computers in the middle of the night when no one was around. Matt was captured using a trap baited with a nice home cooked meal and a clean Space Center shirt.

"We know there could be more TenYearer's out there," Mr. Williamson said. "Finding them is the problem. Some have been spotted by the Center's volunteers and staff, although the evidence gathered is highly suspicious - grainy photographs or out of focus video tape. Still, the search continues."

Matt was released back into the wild after the award and thunderous applause by all those gathered. Before running out the door he waved, jumped into the air, clicked his heals and disappeared. Perhaps we will see him again in another ten years.

Can These People's Awesomeness Be Believed?

Jacob (above) and Caitlynn (middle) and Ashleigh (below) were recently inducted into the Space Center's Hall of Awesomeness last week with the awarding of Year Pins. Mr. Williamson is pleased and always happy to award Year Pins.

"Anyone who has stomached us for one year and still volunteers is truly Awesome!" Mr. Williamson exclaimed after pinning the pin on their lanyards. In fact, Mr. Williamson was so overcome by emotion he broke down in tears. The tears were accompanied by copious amount of nasal discharge (a problem he has lived with for years) requiring a change of shirts before he could continue with Ashleigh's award.

Nathan Y. (above) was recently awarded his Galileo Pin for valiant service to the Galileo and its master, Stacy. Stacy shook his hand while Nathan smiled uncontrollably during the pinning, and has continued to smile ever since. The ceremony ended over two hours ago and Nathan still smiles while working the Super Saturday.

"If he is still smiling at 4:00 P.M. we will take him to the Instacare," Mr. Williamson said. Everyone is concerned about Nathan's blood pressure. The joy of receiving a Galileo Pin can bring so much joy that one's blood pressure could spike - resulting in a stroke (we offer Ben as an example- his speech and overall appearance - a tragedy).

The staff are doing what they can to calm Nathan by reminding him of his most embarrassing moments at the Space Center. They hope this will bring on a rapid depression. So far nothing has worked.

Please excuse Mr. Williamson. One of the programmers tole him Apple Computer's new Siri program could speak AND read minds if the user were able to focus a concentrated thought at the Apple device for a sustained period of time.

He is sorry to report that after one hour of staring at his computer, he couldn't get the cursor to move, no not one millimeter.

This is Jon preparing to punch Mason in the face after giving him his Voyager Pin. Jon gets upset when someone earns their Voyager pin in less time than it took him.

"It ain't right, no it ain't!" Jon shouted after several young volunteers jumped up from the front row and stopped the punch from landing. One young volunteer took the brunt of the blow to the nose causing a twenty minute nose bleed.

"I am the best. Ain't nobody gonna tell me different," Jon was heard cursing as he was lead away to the school's basement Fallout Shelter. The stale air and fifty year old emergency biscuits have a calming influence on him. After an hour or so he is ready to return to work. Mason was shaken up a bit but quickly recovered. He kindly has decided not to press charges for mental distress against Jon.

Finally, proof positive of the abuse new young volunteers receive from older staff. In this exclusive The Troubadour photograph, we see young camper and volunteer Kimball helplessly wrestle with the Space Center's backpack vacuum cleaner while two older and much more experience volunteers (Caitlynn and Eric) stand by and watch.

"Its a disgrace," one member of the ACLU wrote after seeing the photograph. The United Nations Council on Human Rights has agreed to look into the problem. Caitlynn and Eric have been interrogated. Both have denied wrong doing.

"I saw him, who didn't?" Caitlynn spoke in a sourly sarcastic tone while chewing a stick of gum. "What was I suppose to do, Help?" Caitlynn laughed and turned to Eric who sat opposite her at the table.

"Like, No Way Man," Eric chimed in while inserting another stick of gum into his already full mouth.

Caitlynn and Eric have both been told to be nice and lead by example. Both have agreed to "try". Although we are not sure they understood the lecture. Both were texting at the time.

Have a Great Weekend Troops,
Mr. Williamson
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