Shocking News from the Space Center (As one would expect. Since when has our news not been shocking?)

 

 Shocking News from the Space Education Center

Hello Troops,
Socking indeed.  This weekend things happened at the Space Center without your knowledge!  It is my duty as Space Center Director to report them.  We have an open door policy at the Space Center.   Our news is your news.  We hold nothing back - be it the good, the bad or the ugly.

So, hold on to your wig and give your false teeth an extra shove up because here comes the news.   

Her name is Lt. Smith.  Many of you know her as Metta from her former life as a meek, mild mannered Magellan and Voyager Supervisor and her current job as assistant warden for the girls during their overnight incarceration at a Space Center Camp.   Metta was recently made a Lieutenant in the United States Air Force!  We are talking about a real rank - a real military rank - not one of those phony Star Fleet ranks we pass around like tic tacs at the Space Center.  This rank comes with a salary, generously supplied by the American tax payer.  We are proud as punch for Metta.

 

Yes, Metta got her start at the Space Center and the sky is her limit.  We will follow her career with interest.


As if Metta's meteoric rise through the ranks isn't shocking enough, I must inform you of other Space Center promotions.   

Erin received a promotion from volunteer to Galileo Flight Director on Saturday.  Her Navy Blue FD Shirt was awarded by Galileo Set Director Stacy Carrol.

"Erin is unique and awesome," Stacy said during a press conference held for the world's press at the Space Center (This Troubadour reporter was the only reporter in attendance).   "She will make a fine Flight Director.  That I am sure."

"What about your other Flight Directors, like Ben and Christine.  How do they feel about sharing the microphone with this new kid on the block?"  I asked.  I could see the question took Stacy off guard.

"My flight directors WILL have no problem with Erin.  That I can guarentee," Stacy answered. "I run a tight ship.  I tell my staff what to think, what to say, what to read, what to write and what to wear.  There is no room for discent or unauthorized opinions on the Galileo."

"Is that a common practice at the Space Center?" I followed up.

"What happens in the other ships is of no consequence to us in the Galileo.  We operate on a higher plane."  Stacy stood to close the conference.  "I'll email your next questions with their answers to you, thus saving you the time to ask.  You are dismissed."  I took my pad and pencil and was escorted to the door by a black shirt volunteer with a grim young face.

"Get out while you can," he whispered as he opened the outside door and pushed me through.  "You'll thank me someday."

Congratulations Erin!  

 As if Erin's promotion wasn't shocking enough, I now give you Aliah, receiving her Voyager Pin.

Aliah was awarded her Voyager Pin by Voyager Flight Director Jon Parker in another solemn ceremony attended by the Overnight Camp staff on Saturday.  The seriousness of the occasion is seen in their faces.

Let it be understood that getting one's Voyager Pin is a testimony to one's ability to overcome obstacles so great, mere mortals have been known to break down and cry like babies.   Aliah gave a Herculean effort and beat the odds.  I was pleased for her and clapped enthusiastically.  There were others in the room not so enthusiastic.  They are the ones who bet against her in the pools and lost their money.  Sorry chaps, but that's what you get for betting against the dark horse. 

Congratulations Aliah!

What's that you ask?  Do I have any more shocking news?
Why yes I do.

 You are looking at the final survey totals for this weekend's overnight camp.  Remember, a perfect score in all surveyed catagories is 1.  The worst score is a 5.  Look at those scores!  Does "Wow!" escape your lips?  It did mine.

Josh won the day for the Odyssey.  He did well - but so did all the ships as seen above.  Congratulations to the staff and volunteers for a job well done!  The students from Cherry Hill Elementary and CASS (Provo School District's Gifted Unit) gave you the marks you deserved for giving the camp your best effort.


And Now For Something Completely Different.....

I always asked if I have a business card.  The answer is no. The reason is simple - I wouldn't know how to describe what I do for a living.  It's difficult to say "I fly a starship all day and blow up children" in a way your average politically correct American would understand in a word or two on a business card.
   
I'm happy to reveal a solution to my problem provided by Wile E. Coyote from the cartoon megahit The Road Runner.  May I present the artwork for my new business card.  

And now troops, moving along.....

And finally, who ever said there was nothing to be leaned from a gummy bear?

 

 Let's have another great week.

Mr. W.

The Things That Make Me Cringe

Hello Troops,
There are a few things in life I cringe to look at, the first being spiders.  Spending my career teaching in an Elementary School has placed me in several close encounters of the arachnid kind.

"Mr. Williamson, look what I brought for Show and Tell!"  Elmer says having cornered me outside at the school's crosswalk. Out from his Spiderman backpack comes a mayonnaise jar, home to a recently captured living breathing eight legged nightmare searching for an escape.  I look through clenched eyes, knowing the vision of what lives in the jar will stay with me through the night. It will be my monster under the bed.

I discovered the second thing I cringe to look at while working as a janitor in the Widtsoe Building at BYU.  I was the janitor responsible to clean the floor where the human cadavers were kept.

"You don't have to go in that room at first.  I'll clean that room for the rest of the week." My boss was kind enough to volunteer after seeing my reaction to the news that I had the cadaver room.  That week was a blessing.  Every day I'd stop outside the room, poke my head around the corner and look down at the floor.  By Wednesday I was able to follow the tile pattern up to the table where the body was kept.  By Thursday I was able to glance up quickly at the body and then look away.  By Friday I forced myself to look at the body for 5 seconds.  By Saturday I managed 15 seconds.  Fifteen seconds was enough.  Having a 15 second tolerance for that grizzly sight was sufficient to do the cleaning around the table.

Tonight I had to force myself out of my comfort zone and face my third demon.
 "Mr. Williamson, one of the boy's toilets is clogged."  The 6th grade boy spoke in a very matter of fact voice.  My stomach dropped.  My right eyelid started to twitch.  A cold sweat broke out over my face.

We got the boys to bed, then I went on a safari to find a plunger.  With plunger in hand I opened the boy's bathroom door.  I slowly walked to the stalls with the same hesitancy in step found in a death row inmate walking toward the gallow to keep his appointment with eternity.  I cringed with clenched eyes as I opened the first stall door.  A Reese's Peanut Butter Cup wrapper floated in the stool.  I fished it out and threw it away.  I almost let myself wonder why a 6th grader would put his wrapper in a stool when a trash can sat right outside the stall.  I knew such thoughts were pointless.  Since when did a 6th grade boy ever behave in a rational way?

I clenched my eyes and slowly opened the second stall.  The clog announced itself first in smell and then in appearance.  "Alien" is the only word I can find to describe the conglomeration of tissue, water and - well - you know, that I found in the porcelain bowl.  Any sane person would recoil back into the stall door, put his hand over his mouth and nose, shout "Gross!" and sprint to the nearest exit.  I did the recoil.  I did the hand over the mouth and nose.  I shouted "Gross!", but I didn't run.  I was responsible.  I had the plunger.  It was my job to restore balance to the Force.

I'm proud to say I accomplished the task.  The toilet flows free!

And now it is time for bed.  The campers are tucked in.  The staff are quiet and the clock shows 12:37 A.M.

Mr. W.  




       

  

Progress 47 up and away; Dragon gets ready

Progress 47 on its way to ISS

The unmanned Progress 47 mission blasted off this morning from its Baikonur space center in Kazakhstan. The cargo spacecraft carries two and a half tons of food, fuel and supplies to the ISS. Docking is scheduled for Sunday.

Meanwhile, SpaceX and NASA prepare for the expected April 30 launch of the Falcon rocket with the Dragon spacecraft. This significant launch will see if SpaceX can maintain its testing schedule, and successfully dock with the ISS as the first non-government spacecraft to do so.

 

Posted by Mark Daymont

Space Center Educator