Sunday, July 20, 2008
The Center's Own Superheros!
Two real superheros were overlooked this week due to the attention given to Batman, the so called “Dark Knight”. This could be the result of the latest release of a Hollywood production chronicling his life. While many parts of this ‘story’ must be regarded as fiction I will give credit to Batman for his life’s work in fighting crime and vanquishing evil.
Standing in the shadow of the “Dark Knight” are two home grown superheros. Today, in this essay, I shall tell you a tale of their bravery. This story will never make the headlines or be prostituted into film. The modesty of our superheros forbids it. Instead, I will tell the tale here and let future generations retell it until a legend emerges from the collective consciousness of the bearers of the tale.
On Monday last, our hero - Funkman - sat reading in the halls of the Space Center Institute for Exceptional Children (SCIEC). The SCIEC is a secret government agency, disguised as as a rather traditional neighborhood elementary school, given the mission is to locate children blessed with exceptional talents that could save humanity from universal alien threats. The children come to the “Space Center” (code name for the SCIEC) to attend “Camp”. The ‘Camp’ experience is to fine tune the youngling's ability to work as a team and solve fictional threats against Earth and mankind using a variety of simulations. The simulations (carried out in what appear to be innocent and rather elementary starship simulators) highlight the gifts of each participant. Then, when the younglings reach the age of 15, they are placed in the agency where their talents can be put to the best use in protecting Earth.
I’m risking much by even disclosing this information but I feel the truth should be told and let the consequences be what they may. Furthermore, considering anyone that has access to this essay and Blog already have the highest government clearance - I shouldn’t need to worry.
I’m sorry for digressing....... Let me get back to the story. Funkman was reading in one of the Institutes hallways after 1:00 A.M. Suddenly he felt something dark approaching. This Sixth Sense is a common trait shared by those who work at the Institute. His instincts told him to stand. Something caught his eye. He looked up from his book and down the long hallway to the outside door. Emerging from the dark of night came a stranger with a face not before seen near the Institute. This unknown reached for the door and pulled. The door did not open. Of course it wouldn’t. The Institute is locked early in the evening before it is dark and then all rooms and hallways are checked on a regular basis. The Funkman sprang for the door. The uninvited saw him coming down the hallway. Flames erupted behind Funkman as he charged - ready to defend the Institute. The uninvited ran into the darkness.
Funkman came to get his partner. All superheros have protégés. Funkman’s partner was woken and told to prepare for the defense of the compound. He jumped up (who is he you wonder - that will remain a secret so as not to distract attention from the real hero). He will be referred to as 2 in the essay. 2 grabbed his 'Defense Against the Alien Threat Weapon' commonly referred to as “The Enforcer”. The two of them entered the hallways and began a hall by hall search for an intrusion.
The Younglings of the ‘Camp’ where never made aware. it wouldn’t be prudent to do so.
The situation was completely under control. Once the pair were sure the interior of the Institute was secure they moved to assure the female staff that all was safe and to return to their beds. Suddenly, someone heard a sound on the roof. Although getting on the roof of the SCIEC, after having been seen by the Funkman, would be considered a foolish if not retarded move by a proper villain - the Funkman and 2 decided it was time to take out the BattleStar!! The BattleStar is a moving, metal defense platform on wheels. The Battlestar was engaged and a search of the compound was conducted. Nothing was found. The threat was neutralized not by physical force but because of one sighting of the mighty and powerful FUNKMAN!
Once the Battlestar was put away all went back to bed for a night’s sleep. Oh, I should mention that the local police were also called and invited to join the search for this trespasser but again, nothing was found.
The Institutes safety procedures were tested and found worthy of almost any threat (except a direct hit by a thermonuclear weapon) but new plans are in development for that.
We all wish to thank Funkman for his SuperHero efforts in the defense of the Institute , its staff, and the Younglings.
You may all now forget you read anything about this institute. There is no institute.......
There is only a school with a simple Space Camp located in little Pleasant Grove. Continue with your normal life.