My Monday. How was Yours?

Hello Troops,
I waited all day for the 3:00 P.M. Phoenix private mission. I was excited to see the first use of the newly installed 'transporter' door. The time was at hand. The group arrived and paid. Nate met them in the lobby, bathroomed them, and brought them in for loading.

"Step right into the transporter," he said as he opened the side door, completely bypassing the new transporter. He shut the door and came around the closet to open the sliding door to let them into the bridge.

I was glad Jon and Kyle were not at hand to see what I saw. They worked from 5:00 P.M. Saturday to 3:00 A.M. Sunday installing the dark room door. How was their dedication rewarded? Nate bypassed the new transporter and opted for the traditional way of loading a Phoenix crew. Nate chicken out :)

"Nate why didn't you load through the transporter?" I asked. He stopped and turned to face me. He looked confused, as if I'd asked him to solve a complex calculus equation.

He held his forefinger to his chin as if to prepare me for something profound. "I didn't really know how?" he said.

Now don't get me wrong, Nate is a top notch volunteer and future flight director so if he is struggling with the complexities of a turning door then perhaps there are others out there in his situation.

I'll ponder yesterday's revelation and take decisive action. Expect a three week course in the proper use of a dark room transporter door. The course will include everything from the proper loading technique, the proper spinning technique complete with instructions on how to avoid the over use of the wrist muscles - which could lead to carpel tunnel syndrome. The highlight of the course will be a lesson on making believable energizing sound effects while transporting people into a ship using nothing more than your vocal chords and a pocket wazoo.

And Now a Thought from the Imaginarium's Help Desk.

Do you ever feel frustrated with family, friends, and school. Remember, we have people on hand to take your calls right after school for 20 minutes a day. Our people have been trained in saying "That's life, so get over it" in many different soothing vocal tones. My favorite is Ocean Breeze. It's spoken with fluctuating winded words punctuated with minor breath intakes mimicking the sound of sea gulls.


And how about this pick me up.....
Have several of these cards printed and staple them to your next math assignment. Next to the card write "I'm a fish out of water. What did you expect, an A? But you should watch me text. Everyone says I'm a genius with my thumbs and creative spelling"

And finally, from the Imaginarium's "Life's Precious Moments" Department


Isn't it amazing how quickly life takes you from the "You're so precious" stage to
"Where's my smokes?
"Did I leave them at home?"
"Are they in your purse?"
"I need my smokes."
"I've got to pee and here comes the bus."

And Finally, News

Hello Troops,
Late last night while you slept, Jon Parker and Kyle Jones installed the Phoenix's new 'Transporter'. I stopped at the Center this morning to take a look. I don't know when they finished but they did a great job.

Some of you may be confused by the term 'transporter'. Transporters at the Space Center are those turning black doors you go through to enter one of the simulators. You find them in the Voyager and Odyssey. The Magellan doesn't need one because of their awesome winding hallway. The Galileo has its ramp.

A couple weeks ago I found the Phoenix's new transporter sitting in a state of disrepair on a neighbor's lawn. Its not your typical yard sale item so it caught my eye. I bought it and had Jon and Kyle bring it to the school. Kyle spent a day with it, repairing, cleaning and painting. Finding the time to install the door was the trick. The Center is always busy. The only available time was Saturday evening after the overnight camp and private missions. Kyle and Jon agreed to stay behind and work nonstop until the installation was finished. Great job guys! And once again may I remind you of the awesome people that work and volunteer at the Space Center. It's like the place is a magnet which attracts hard working, imaginative people. I'm privileged to rub shoulders with them and all the better for it.

We are always working on improvements in the Center's five simulators so be sure to sign up for one of our summer camps if you haven't done so. And don't forget the new missions starting June 1. It will be a fun and exciting summer at Space Camp!

Wait, I'm getting a telepathic message from many of you out there (who needs Twitter when you've got telepathy?) wanting me to post a few items from the Imaginarium. Get your thinking caps on and hold tightly. Here is the latest from the Land of Never Ending Dreams...

From the Imaginarium's School of Hard Knocks, A Thought for the Day.







Ever need a bit of privacy on a crowded street or school hallway to make an important call? The CellPhone Box is the answer! It easily folds flat and is always accessible in case of a Privacy Emergency (like when you get a call from your mom checking up to see if you're really at your friend's house studying but you're actually at the mall hanging out). It comes with its own large backpack carrying case guaranteed to be awkward in crowds.


How do you confuse your typically brainless junior high school student? Try this and watch the pileup at the cafeteria door.


Do you see the Cat? How about the mouse? How about the Saturn V Rocket? How about Mr. Williamson in a Superman suit? Look closely........


The real test of your character is what you do when there is no one watching.

Ever have one of those days when you feel you're on the very edge and the slightest wind will carry you over into oblivion?

Oh, and just in case you're wondering, I know for a fact and without any question that this is something I will never do in this life or the life to come..... period. I was one of those people in the control group when Murphy's Law was field tested.

Just looking at this sends my blood pressure soaring?
Be honest, are you one of those people who will go for it anyway and ends up french kissing the fountain? Double gross.


Yes, you're in a world of trouble if you ever wake up and see them at the foot of your bed. I advise you to pinch yourself to see if you're dreaming. If it is a dream, then I suggest you're spending too much time at the Space Center. If it isn't a dream, then tell them you don't know where the droids are.


Have a Great Day Troops,
Mr. W.

Stories from the Front Lines

Hello Troops,
This post was received yesterday, sent by carrier pigeon from Fresno, California. Bracken Funk spent his University Spring Break with us in the trenches on the front lines. I'm happy to report that his skills are as sharp today as they when he left for civilian life. Mind you, the tinned sardines, tack bread, and beans kept his fighting close to the latrine.

Bracken was kind enough to write this post to share a few of his observations.

Thanks Bracken!
Mr. W.

My Time on the Front Lines
By
Bracken Funk, Field Commander.
Received on the South Perch, Carrier Pigeon Landing Facility.

I just thought I’d share a few quick funnies from my experience back home this past week. I absolutely loved being home for the week, and tried my best to take as many missions as my flight director conditioning would allow. It’s like playing basketball. You have to stay in condition in order to be successful. I hadn’t flown in a while, and after flying 3 missions in one day, I was pooped. It took me a bit to get my second wind so I could fly like a real boy.

During one of the after school field trips, I was flying the Voyager, and whilst being upon the bridge, I was collecting the mp3 players for the Right Wing officers, who both looked at me with a puppy-dog face, and the girl said in a sweet voice, “Who is that man that is speaking, is that you?”

I paused a moment, shocked by the question, “No, his name is Tex, he’s supposedly the best engineer in all of Starfleet,” I answered as officially as I could.

“Do you know him?”

I was trying to anticipate where she was going. I suppose that is the most important part of our job as space center employees. We are master liars... no, story tellers. In order to weave a story together in a short amount of time, we attempt to have the story written before the question was asked. I could not get ahead of this girl, I didn’t know where she was going.

“Yes, I have worked with him a few times,” I gave her a reassuring nod. I was sure this was the end of the conversation.

“Could you tell him that he has the most calming voice I’ve ever heard?”

Now... Now I was flabbergasted. I had never heard such a thing in all my years of volunteer work, work and any other form of time I’d put in at the Center.

“Sir,” she said again, “I was very, very nervous coming in here today. I was scared about my job, I was scared I would kill my crew, I was scared that aliens would get me- but now, because of his voice, I am calm, and ready for anything,” she smiled, and I was just about to tell her that I would do it, when the boy next to her chimed in.

“I agree. His voice is just... relaxing and calming. I have never felt more sure of myself sitting in front of computer,” he beamed like he was a professional hacker, and the voice he’d heard telling him how to run the right wing had given him new light.

“I will,” I said, “I will make sure that Tex knows that you guys are at ease because of his voice.

I promise that Mr. Williamson will never let anyone live that down.

The next flight, I was assigned to fly the Phoenix. I must add that the crew that I had in the Phoenix for that flight was my favorite crew ever. I had so much fun with that group. If they should by chance read this- THEY MUST COME BACK and fly with me again. I don’t know if I can live without them :P

The girl at Operations was your typical little girl. Unicorns and rainbows, dresses and tea, princesses and Disney. She made me laugh on several occasions. We were in Perikoi, right after they’d been hit with the torpedo from the surface. They shook around with the impact of the torpedo a little bit (they were incredible actors too, by the way). They all took care of any immediate threat, and then Operations raised her hand, and said “Captain,”. I knew I hadn’t sent a message, and I knew that there was nothing going on at her station. I looked at the camera, and waited for it. I was excited. But what came out of her mouth next had me on the floor in stitches.

“Yes?” The captain responded.

“Does my hair look alright?”

There were four of us in the control room. We all laughed for a minute. After taking a torpedo, getting yelled at by Gods, and having Perikoi threatened- she knew where her priorities lied.. With her hair