The Space Center's Dark Friday.....

Lost, Without Purpose. Slightly Drooling. Signs of a Space Center
Employee / Volunteer Suffering from Dark Friday Dementia

Hello Troops,
The Space Center celebrates a Dark Friday tonight. Dark Friday is defined as one of those rare Friday evenings without an Overnight Camp. I decided not to schedule a camp on October 30th because of Halloween. I reasoned the staff would enjoy a weekend off for spooky merrymaking. I since discovered my reasoning was flawed. The staff made it clear their desire for larger paychecks took precedence over released time from service to search our village for Halloween parties willing to accept bewildered Space Center staff and volunteers.

So, a couple dozen camp regulars are free tonight. I’m hoping they have someplace to go and don’t end up aimlessly wandering the streets of Pleasant Grove looking for purpose and direction.

For a Space Center employee freedom on a Friday night can cause a form of dementia. This malady, a distant cousin of Alzheimer's, is temporary - usually disappearing with Saturday’s sunrise. During the evening hours family and friends of Staff should be prepared to offer support and treatment if necessary. Please check for Friday Dementia's symptoms by answering these questions concerning your loved one's behavior:

1. Is your loved one aimlessly wandering through the house asking if the crew has arrived.
2. is your loved one taking sheets off the beds and covering every light fixture in your home?
3. Is your loved one looking through the kitchen’s cupboards and fridge for Little Caesar’s Pizza?
4. Is your loved one forcing Grandma to sit through station training at the living room computer?
5. Is your loved one rifling through your closets and dressers for any item of clothing that might identify them as an Orion Pirate?
6. Did your loved one interrupt your Friday night video with popcorn and Diet Coke with shouts to find cover, the Shadow was coming?
7. Is your loved one asking you for a midnight snack of ice cream sandwiches and WalMart Orange Soda?
8. Is your loved one sleeping on the floor with their computer and /or iPod, oblivious to the world - lost in some TV show recorded on iTunes and heard through a pair of ear buds?
9. Did your loved one throw a tantrum when your breakfast of cold cereal and pop tarts not include a WalMart glazed donut?
10. At 10:30 A.M. was your loved one standing in front of you telling you his/her name and asking for your vote?
11. At 10:45 A.M. was your loved one asking how many votes he got and when can he pick up a WalMart card?

These are the symptoms of a Space Center Staff / Volunteer suffering from Dark Friday Dementia. I suggest you take your child in your arms if you see these symptoms, and with a big hug, explain that all will be well. Remind them another Friday is only 7 days away. Explain to them that life outside the Space Center exists on a Friday night. Hand them a phone and tell them to call a friend. In serious cases, please call me. I’ll order them to bed. They are programmed to follow my orders

As for an old Space Center Director, my Dark Friday will be spent doing what I love most - Sitting Quietly.

Happy Halloween to all. Give your pancreas a work out this weekend and consume mass quantities of sugar and don’t forget to do what we love doing most - scaring the snot out of younglings tomorrow night :)

Mr. Williamson

Paul (The Razor) Bauman Escapes. Reward Offered!

Paul (The Razor) Bauman (right) with his Side Kick Todd (Scarface) Rasband. This photograph shows Paul in the ‘school’ enjoying a bit of free time with his co workers before the next batch of cadets arrived for ‘treatment’.

All Points Bulletin
Commandant. CMSEC
Pleasant Grove

Paul (The Razor) Bauman, once a supervisor at the CMSEC, escaped on Monday. He was last seen at 5:40 P.M. running across the west lawn toward the electrified hedge separating the school’s ‘play ground’ from No Man’s Land. No Man’s Land, as all our ‘students’ know, is the seemingly peaceful neighborhood surrounding the ‘school’. Of course, the homes are all empty. They are for show only. This ‘show case’ community is another way we convince local authorities (and pesky representatives of the International Red Cross) that Central is a real school, and not a cleverly disguised asylum for the slightly off balanced.

The photograph above is the latest picture of Paul in the ‘school’ enjoying a bit of free time with his co workers before the next batch of cadets arrived for ‘treatment’.

Paul (The Razor) Bauman worked at the institution for a number of years. He began as a ‘camper’ at the Institution’s ‘Space Center’. After surviving several rounds of treatment (the staff refer to them as ‘missions’) Paul was rehabilitated and recruited to work as a volunteer. Paul was popular with the ‘campers’. He brought a caring, human touch to the treatments. He told stories at bed time and always had time to listen to their concerns.

Paul’s talents at calming the ‘campers’ by making treatments seem fun convinced the Commandant to place him on the ‘school’s staff. Last week Paul approached the Commandant and requested a release from his duties. The Commandant reminded Paul that once on the Institution's payroll there was no release. He could appeal the Commandant’s decision but such a move was risky. If his release was authorized by the Board, he would be subject to a painful ‘debriefing’. Memories of his time at the Center would be erased using electroshock therapy. Debriefing was effective 50% of the time. The unfortunate ones that didn’t survive are housed in a special section of the ‘school’.

Yesterday, Paul finished working a treatment. As the ‘campers’ were escorted away from the ‘simulator’, Paul saw a lapse in security. Private Spenser Dauwalter was in the office filling out paper work instead of securing the perimeter. Our security cameras tracked Paul as he escaped through the ‘simulator’s’ back door and bolted across the blacktop and onto the lawn. Automatic sensors were triggered. Alarms rang. Sharpshooters, hidden in the trees, did their best to bring him down. Unfortunately, due to extreme wind, they couldn’t get a clear shot. Branches and flying leaves obstructed their view. Paul pulled out a classified document when he reached the electrified hedge. It held the combination to disable the electric current. He climbed the hedge/fence and landed in the false neighborhood.

He ran into one of the hollow brick homes. The security camera in the fireplace's mantle showed him consulting his iPod. He carefully traced his moves around the land mines hidden in the lawns, driveways and tree trunks on the device's touch screen. He walked to the screen door, looked for approaching agents, found the coast clear and ran. It took several minutes of dodging and jumping before clearing the field.

Six minutes after leaving the 'school' Paul faced one last wall. Freedom waited on the other side. With a chimp's agility he scampered up the wall and went over the top. He startled a young couple walking their dog near Harts when he landed directly in front of them on all fours. From there he disappeared into the dark.

The Commandant is authorizing a reward for the successful capture of this escaped, deranged and confused ‘camp’ supervisor. Approach with caution. He will not allow himself to be captured and repatriated without a fight.

(Troops. Paul Bauman left the Space Center after several years as a volunteer and employee. He is a senior now and his life is filling with several things. I want to thank Paul for his devoted service to the Space Center and our students. The campers really loved Paul and the staff will miss him. Thanks Paul for everything. We wish you the very best of luck and do stay in touch. Mr. Williamson)

50 Year Anniversary- Luna 3 Pics released

Luna 3 probe

On October 26, 1959, the Soviet Union released a series of pictures taken by the Lunik 3 (Luna 3) probe. The significance of these pictures is that they were the first to show the far side of the moon, previously unseen by man. Launched on October 4, the picture sequence of 29 frames was taken on the 6th and 7th. Once the probe left the moon, on a return towards the Earth, the Russian scientists attempted to transmit the pictures on the 8th but encountered difficulties. Only about 17 poor pictures were able to be transmitted by the 18th of October. These pictures were publicly released on the 26th.

The Undiscovered Country... the Far Side...

Communications with the probe were ended on the 22nd. It is estimated that the probe made several orbital passes of the Earth, but never really achieved a stable orbit and probably burned up in Earth's atmosphere sometime between 1960-1962.

Soviet Commemorative Stamp

One thing I love about the Russians is that they loved their space achievements. The Russians loved to commemorate everything with stamps, and this was a great one.

Mark Daymont,
Space Center Educator
Spacerubble.blogspot.com