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Friday, October 30, 2009

The Space Center's Dark Friday.....

Lost, Without Purpose. Slightly Drooling. Signs of a Space Center
Employee / Volunteer Suffering from Dark Friday Dementia

Hello Troops,
The Space Center celebrates a Dark Friday tonight. Dark Friday is defined as one of those rare Friday evenings without an Overnight Camp. I decided not to schedule a camp on October 30th because of Halloween. I reasoned the staff would enjoy a weekend off for spooky merrymaking. I since discovered my reasoning was flawed. The staff made it clear their desire for larger paychecks took precedence over released time from service to search our village for Halloween parties willing to accept bewildered Space Center staff and volunteers.

So, a couple dozen camp regulars are free tonight. I’m hoping they have someplace to go and don’t end up aimlessly wandering the streets of Pleasant Grove looking for purpose and direction.

For a Space Center employee freedom on a Friday night can cause a form of dementia. This malady, a distant cousin of Alzheimer's, is temporary - usually disappearing with Saturday’s sunrise. During the evening hours family and friends of Staff should be prepared to offer support and treatment if necessary. Please check for Friday Dementia's symptoms by answering these questions concerning your loved one's behavior:
  1. Is your loved one aimlessly wandering through the house asking if the crew has arrived.
  2. is your loved one taking sheets off the beds and covering every light fixture in your home?
  3. Is your loved one looking through the kitchen’s cupboards and fridge for Little Caesar’s Pizza?
  4. Is your loved one forcing Grandma to sit through station training at the living room computer?
  5. Is your loved one rifling through your closets and dressers for any item of clothing that might identify them as an Orion Pirate?
  6. Did your loved one interrupt your Friday night video with popcorn and Diet Coke with shouts to find cover, the Shadow was coming?
  7. Is your loved one asking you for a midnight snack of ice cream sandwiches and WalMart Orange Soda?
  8. Is your loved one sleeping on the floor with their computer and /or iPod, oblivious to the world - lost in some TV show recorded on iTunes and heard through a pair of ear buds?
  9. Did your loved one throw a tantrum when your breakfast of cold cereal and pop tarts not include a WalMart glazed donut?
  10. At 10:30 A.M. was your loved one standing in front of you telling you his/her name and asking for your vote?
  11. At 10:45 A.M. was your loved one asking how many votes he got and when can he pick up a WalMart card?

These are the symptoms of a Space Center Staff / Volunteer suffering from Dark Friday Dementia. I suggest you take your child in your arms if you see these symptoms, and with a big hug, explain that all will be well. Remind them another Friday is only 7 days away. Explain to them that life outside the Space Center exists on a Friday night. Hand them a phone and tell them to call a friend. In serious cases, please call me. I’ll order them to bed. They are programmed to follow my orders

As for an old Space Center Director, my Dark Friday will be spent doing what I love most - Sitting Quietly.

Happy Halloween to all. Give your pancreas a work out this weekend and consume mass quantities of sugar and don’t forget to do what we love doing most - scaring the snot out of younglings tomorrow night :)

Mr. Williamson
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