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Sunday, November 22, 2009

Astronomical Event Shocks the World!

Citizens of London taking to the streets in mass panic upon hearing the news. The Pope will speak to the World this Evening.

Something happened yesterday morning at or around 7:00 A.M. While parts of the world slept and others were in the full rhythm of life, the sun stopped briefly in the sky. Astronomers the world over are checking the accuracy of this report with their atomic clocks and other instruments. As of today, the data is irrefutable.
Yesterday was 15 seconds longer than it should have been.

Today scientists are searching for the cause. What would cause the sun to stand still? What would cause the Earth to briefly pause in its never ending cycle of day and night? Some speculate that something with a very large gravitational pull must have come close enough to the Earth to slow the planet’s rotation. The Institute of Science says it may have been a passing, rogue miniature black hole. We know they are out there. What happened yesterday might be the proof scientists have sought for decades.

Of course, there are others who see phenomena this as a message sent by a vengeful God warning humans that the end is near and repentance is the key to unlock salvation and safety from the coming apocalypse. In many parts of the world churches are the fullest they’ve been in years.

Today we have another mystery. If the Earth’s rotation slowed by 15 seconds yesterday then logic dictates today would also be extended by 15 seconds. As of the writing of this post, Sunday is on time. The delay seems to have been a one day occurrence - making it all the more mysterious.

I’m sure there will be conferences on this subject. I’m sure heads of state the world over are consulting their greatest scientific minds on the subject and I’m sure theories will spread like a pandemic.

Such a reaction for something I understand.

Yes, I understand why yesterday was 15 seconds longer than it should have been. I’m tempted to notify the authorities but fear I wouldn’t be believed. The reason, my friends, may have to stay within our Space Center family and friends.

Yesterday, for the first time in 19 years, the Space Center served our overnight campers a breakfast with chocolate covered donuts alongside our normal glazed donuts. I ordered the change in our WalMart weekly donut order on Friday morning after realizing the price of a dozen chocolate covered donuts was the same as glazed. It always had been. I just never asked.

Opening those chocolate covered donuts for the staff’s early morning gathering created such a shock the Earth itself paused momentarily to regain its senses. So many our staff inhaled in shock (as humans tend to do) when I opened that first box and offered them chocolate covered donuts that a temporary vacuum was created in the Discovery Room. A wind, strong enough to blow the napkins off the front desk, rushed in from the hallway to fill the sudden low pressure system. Two of our older veteran staffed fainted. One hurt her head when it came down forcefully onto the tabletop. There were reports of lights flickering throughout the school and the surrounding neighborhood.

I blame myself for everything that’s happened and apologize for any inconvenience it may have caused. I didn’t expect such a reaction. I knew this was a dramatic shift in our normal operating procedures but didn't think it would be the cause for all this unpleasantness.

I’ll finish this post now. I've decided to come clean. I have several phone calls to make. I’ll start with the Astronomical Union. They will help notify others once I send them the proof. I sat one of the WalMart chocolate covered donuts aside in case something like this happened. I’ll take it down to the UPS store, have it wrapped in a box, then wrapped again in bubble wrap before sending it to Washington for analyses.

I’m hoping this won’t frighten people away from sending their children to us for camps, classes and field trips. It was all a mistake and I’m sorry for it.
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