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Sunday, December 18, 2016

Ben Murdock Converts New Wife to Sneakerism. On Behalf of the Grand Sneaker, I Welcome Them Into the Fold. Please Support Them. Isaac Ostler Caught Offering a Bribe.

Ben Murdock Given Honorable Discharge from Starfleet and Marries Cayla Larson. Both Accept Sneakerism in Married Life. 

     The not to be missed event this holiday season occurred last Thursday in American Fork, Utah. Ben Murdock, former Space Center USS Galileo flight director, was released from his commitments to Starfleet and left Space Center service to enter wedded life.  
     "Space Service was awesome," Ben told me the night of the reception after I'd worked my way through the crawling receiving line to greet the happy couple. "It was rewarding. I mean, who wouldn't enjoy a lifetime of adventures aboard some of the finest ships in the fleet.  But it can get lonely out there in space; which is why I surrendered my commission, returned planetside, and married the girl of my dreams." 

     Long time Space Center staff, volunteers, and campers have fond memories of the great Ben Murdock. He was trained by Space Center legend Stacy Carrell to be a warm, enthusiastic, and talented flight director.  Ben's dependability and work ethic was a blessing to me as Space Center director. I knew he would be on time for his missions. I knew his crews would have the best experience of their lives. That's the Ben we will always remember.

Ben at the helm of the Galileo for the Galileo's first mission after the Grand Reopening in February 2013.

     Ben and Cayla chose to hold their reception in the Northampton House in American Fork; the same place as his mentor Stacy held her wedding reception a few years ago when she left Starfleet to marry into the Harken family.  

      I was pleased to see the Murdocks have chosen to live a sneaker life.  I converted to Sneakerism  years ago; abandoning conventional beliefs for a life of comfort. Sacrificing appearance for convenience. Forgoing acceptance to take the road less traveled.  We Sneakers are identified by our footwear. We shun dress shoes for sneakers as a sign of our devotion to frugal living and piety.  
     There are some in our cloistered community who would take exception to Ben and Cayla's obvious extravagance at having their names stitched onto their shoes, but for the occasion of their wedding, we can show forgiveness (as long as the stitching is removed at their earliest convenience). 


     Ben and Cayla have chosen a tough life to live as Sneakers. There are still places where Sneakers  face ostracism, shunning,  and very poor service; yet we preserve. We spread the gospel of convenience wrapped in a lifestyle of minimalism. 
     Ben and Cayla need the support of their friends and family as they embark on this new life together.  Show them you care by wearing your sneakers to a formal event like church or synagogue. Show them that you for one embrace differences.  Send them a picture of your defiance against the Man.  
     Congratulations Ben and Cayla!  May you both live long and prosper.  

     And one further observation if I may; are those natural curls or is Ben sporting a fashionable doo?  I'm guessing they're natural, given the fact that we never saw Ben in longer hair back in the days of his space service. If they're not natural, Ben may need to surrender his sneakers. There is only so much Sneakerism can tolerate before the member is labeled a Gentile and issued a pair of black loafers.    

Mr. Williamson       

Isaac Ostler Giver of Bribes

Isaac bearing a Brib... hummm a "gift"

     Friends, many of you know Isaac as a hard working Magellan supervisor and student director of the new Voyager at Renaissance Academy.  But did you know what Isaac did the first time I met him way back in January 2012?  Even before Isaac became a volunteer, he offered me a bribe to go easy on his crew.  The story of his graft and cunning was posted on The Troubadour on January 29, 2012.  I decided to repost it today as an act of full disclosure. You young people who've decided to help us on the Voyager need to know the dark side of this person you'll be working with.  If you're shocked by his behavior and want to quit, please do it now before any more time is wasted on your training.  I for one have chosen to forgive him on grounds of his youth and immaturity (and because I accepted the bribe). 
       And now, the full post from that day in 2012.

P.S.  The Troubadour is full of great stories like this spanning nearly a decade of Space Center history. Read some of the old posts. Use the Blog Director located on the right sidebar.

Young Camper Bribes Mr. Williamson

     And finally a confession which could land me in a spot of trouble. Last Thursday a young man named Issac arrived with friends to attend the Phoenix's Open Mission, flight directed by none other than the Space Center's very own Dave Daymont.

     Isaac walked up to me while I was seated at my desk and slipped me this note. Attached to the note was real American money. Yes, I'm talking about real American money - none of that phony Canadian stuff. On the note he'd written that he was a regular reader of The Troubadour and had read how easy it was to bribe me with a Diet Mt. Dew. The note went on to say that the cash was to be used for a Diet Dew.

     I say this could land me in a spot of trouble because of my position as an employee of the Alpine School District - a government organization. We don't take kindly to the bribing of government officials in this republic of ours, so I hesitated to accept the card and money. But in the end I confess to accepting the "gift". How could I turn down such a heartfelt offer from a young Space Center fan. I only hope the judge feels the same way if any of you turn me in to the authorities.

     Now let me emphatically repeat that giving gifts to government officials is frowned upon in our American culture. However, until our elected leaders in Salt Lake and Washington decide not to accept all the freebies showered on them by lobbyists and political action committees, I'll feel perfectly fine accepting the occasion soda from a well wisher wanting to grease the palm of someone who could make or break his simulator mission :)

     Thanks Isaac. The Diet Dew was delicious and thank you for being a regular reader.

Mr. Williamson

Theater Imaginarium

The best gifs of the week, assiduously edited for gentler audiences, minors, and the terminally offended.

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