I was reading through some old posts from the Space Center's old blog and thought I'd share this post written by Megan from a few summers ago. Enjoy.....
The Magellan staff record the funnier things crews say on their missions. I thought I would let everyone in on some of the fun. Keep in mind, this isn't everything; the grammar is theirs, not mine; and some have been... edited... to suit the district and protect young minds, so if it doesn't seem THAT funny, I promise it was the funniest
thing I've ever heard at that place, and possibly anywhere because of the context.
DISCLAIMER: IT'S REALLY LONG! BUT REALLY FUNNY. YOU DECIDE IF IT'S WORTH IT. I WARNED YOU!
One child on a mission seemed to have had a very good sense of smell. These were a couple of things he said:
"I can smell the radiation!"
"I know that smell! That's the smell I smelt before the intruder. Another one's coming on!"
We got several interesting messages through the
computers. Here are some examples.
MESSAGE FROM COUNTERINTELLIGENCE: "That means all of you are fired!!!!!
MESSAGE FROM OPERATIONS: "slim devil has been caught. I REPEAT THE SLIM DEVIL HAS BEEN CAUGHT"
MESSAGE FROM ENGINEER: "I am scared. Something in all black just came on and tried to kill us! But we are all ok."
AFTER FINDING OUT THE DAMAGE TEAM WASN'T QUITE DONE:
"Thanks! Just work as fast as you'd like
MESSAGE FROM COMMUNICATIONS: "Some people think things are forming and some think they are blowing up. And things are just getting strange!"
MESSAGE FROM STRAGETIC OPERATIONS: "Some aliens might come and kill you! Leave Until power and red alert are off Then return to your stations!"
MESSAGE FROM SURVEILLANCE: "Creatures are about to attack the bridge! HOLD ME!!!!!!!"
Some of our campers had very different opinions about how to deal with the creature that had gotten loose. These are a couple of the suggested ways:
SLIME DEVIL ANNOUNCED MOVING TO THE BRIDGE: ADMIRAL
"Alright, everyone back here! Everyone get back behind the desk!"
WHEN LOOKING FOR THE SLIME DEVIL: "Can we go up there and look? (POINTING AT THE CEILING!)
CREATURE ATTACKS: "It's a monkey!" "Die, die you stupid alien monkey!"
ADVICE FROM THE ADMIRAL: "Hit it in the butt!"
CREATURE GOT SUCKED INTO SPACE "Let's hope that creature doesn't come flying at the windshield and go *splat noise*"
INTRUDERS ARE COMING "Alright, if anything comes up here, everyone fire on it, not just one person."
(Security) "What, all two of us?"
CAPTAIN IS TRYING TO KEEP HER CREW CALM "Stay calm my butt!"
We had some very confused crews througout the summer. Here's some proof.
KLINGONS ASK IF THEY SURRENDER. (Lone child) "We surrender!"
(All in unison) " NNNOOOOO!!!"
FINAL BATTLE ENDED: (Kids) "We're dead!"
(Captain) "No we're not! They're running away!" ... "We're alive!"
LOOKING AT THE ANOMALY "What is it?" "It's a space center!"
"HAVE YOU BEEN WORKING ON THE THX?" "Yes. Well, no. "THAT
SOUNDS OMINOUS. WHICH IS IT, YES OR NO?"
"Yes! Well, actually..."
AFTER WATCHING A SHUTTLE GET DESTROYED
"Wahoo!!... Oh wait, is that a bad thing?"
CARGO SHIP EXPLODES "Hurray!" (Captain) "No, you guys. Exploding things is a bad thing."
THE ACTOR WAS TRYING TO FIND ADMIRAL SHULER.
"Are you sure you're on the right ship?"
"I'm his grandson!"
" Where's his desk?"
"How do you know he didn't just have plastic surgery?"
"IN THE LAST 15 MINUTES?"
EXPLOSIONS AS MAGGIE GETS SUCKED THROUGH THE ANOMALY
"What was that?"
" That was radiation and graviton and stuff."
"ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE ALRIGHT?"
"Yeah, well, we're 99% sure."
"WHERE'S THE ALTERNATE MAGELLAN?"
"They're in a different time zone."
Our Admirals had some very different ways to deal with our doctor (played by yours truly) in Invasion. (Just in case you don't know, a ship explodes, and I like to play it up and say my new husband or fiancee or someone of that sort was onboard.)
ADMIRAL NUMBER THE FIRST: "Alright, everyone, give the doctor your full sympathy. Her husband just died."
"Hey, you're good with women. Go cheer up the depressed doctor."
ADMIRAL THE WORSE: "The doctor needs to put her love life on hold... It's not a priority."
"No Doctor, stay down there. Here's a chair for you." (I stayed at the bottom the
whole mission through 2 phaser fights and a creature mauling."
Wanna hear some of what they said about their jobs?
DAMAGE CONTROL IS FEELING OVERWHELMED. "My day's been hard enough already!"
WE DON'T KNOW WHERE THIS ONE CAME FROM.
"What's going on? This thing's blinking."
"That thing's always blinking!"
DAMAGE IS LOOKING FOR A REPLACEMENT "I know how to do it. I've been damage control before." *DC SHOOTS A LOOK*
"Yeah, but I'm looking for someone more like me. More like me, and less like you."
WHILE TRYING TO KEEP A CREATURE DOWN: "Woo hoo hoo! I like my job!"
And, finally, some random ones that I didn't know how to group together.
"WE ARE READY TO BEING THE ATTACK WHEN WE GET THERE."
"Why does everyone want to blow up the planet?"
"60 SECONDS OF OXYGEN REMAINING" (Whole crew)
"59, 58, 57..."
"INCOMING ORION FLEET." "I never thought I'd be so happy to see the Orions!"
"CO2 SCRUBBERS ARE OFFLINE" (Damage control)
"Why are the CO2 scrubbers down?"
(Admiral) "Because such is life."
"RANGER IS NOT DOCKED." (Surveillance) "Can we scan if we're still in the docking port?"
"We ARE the docking port."
"IN THIS UNIVERSE, HUMANS ARE CONQUERING EVERYTHING."
END OF MISSION "You stupid reality! You suck reality!"
AFTER DEATH TIME WAS ANNOUNCED. (Captain) "No,
we're not dancing! Oh, fine, you can dance if you want. I don't care." (The crew then proceeded to sing and sway along with "Small World")
ANOTHER CREW'S DEATH TIME, SAME SONG. (Captain)
"Why are you doing this to us?!?"
TEN MINUTES OF OXYGEN REMAINING "Everyone breathe deep for the last ten minutes of your life!"
CREATURE ATTACK JUST ENDED. "How come creatures wear Nikes? I thought they'd have webed feet or something."
And finally, to top it all off, some staff quotes.
EMILY TO MEGAN (ON THE BRIDGE) "Hi Morgan! Oh wait, I'm Morgan."
SCREAMS COME FROM THE BRIDGE AS EVERYONE'S FAVORITE BOSS COMES TO VISIT. HE SAYS "Is that from the Magellan?
MORE SCREAMS. "Looks like Magellans coming back!"
Whew! Finished! And those were only the highlights of the highlights! If you made it through all of those and find yourself wanting more, feel free to come EARLY to a Magellan mission and ask a supervisor. I think the others know where they are. If not,
they're... challenged. By the way, if you didn't figure out which quote is the funniest thing EVER heard at the Space Center, I'm sorry. I'm not gonna tell you which one it is. You're just out of luck. How much longer should I keep going with this? I think I'm done.
Congrats if you made it this far!