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A Note From The Troubadour's Editorial Staff:
Mr. Williamson's incessant crying that he alone shoulders the burden of this endeavor has finally fallen on a sympathetic ear. Today The Troubadour is pleased to present a guest post from a gentleman, scholar, and excellent judge of a good mission - in that order. Mr. Bracken Funk, former Flight Director General from the CMSEC (a new title made up on the spot to stroke his ego to encourage future guest posts), and now ......... Something Important (capitalized because I think that's his official title) at the Discovery Space Center, has written the following post. He only asks one thing from you kind readers; when finished please stand and salute in the direction of Pleasant Grove.
We’re in the thick of the summer buzz at the Discovery Space Center, and life never slows down. Every week we have something new and exciting happening, and we do our best to honor what the idea of educational simulation and the imaginarium stand for. Don’t believe me? Here is a picture of the notorious four of Utah County:
Don’t believe me? Well I’ll tell you a story about this picture, and then maybe you will. Let’s start with Logan. Look how innocent he looks... Well, he’s the leader of this secret combination. This picture was taken during a secret meeting of the NotoFour (as they like to be called). Logan is their leader. He’s the only one wearing the colors of their order, and was in the middle of dressing down the others for not being in their colors when I walked in. “Shh! Shh!” I heard as I ascended the stairs in one of StoneGate’s most secret rooms. As I got to the top of the stairs, Jorden flashed a smile, and Connor quickly grabbed his laptop and pretended to be “working” as he was technically on the clock. “Well, well, well, what have we here?” I asked. I was pretty sure I knew what was happening, as I had received many reports about this organization, but I wanted to hear it from them. Nathan stared at me for a moment. Then responded, “This is a private meeting for the heads of the super overnighter, Bracken. There is nothing going on here.” He looked at his feet as he finished, trying to hide the fact that he was worried. “YES!” Logan cried out suspiciously loud and high pitched, and then coughed as he tried to recover normal tone, “we were just discussing ways to help our customers have the best time in the world! That’s what we do here!” I stood in the doorway for a moment, and stared at the four of them. Jorden’s face hadn’t changed since I walked in. “Fix your face, Jorden, it’s creepy,” I gave him ‘the look’. Jorden stayed still, staring at me, face in the same position, and somehow said, “I like looking like this.” While I can’t confirm or deny this, it may have had something to do with a ritual the NotoFour were performing before I walked in. It is quite possible that I heard chanting coming from the room, I can’t seem to remember… Maybe they did something to me. Anyways, all reports of the NotoFour are to be sent to me immediately, we are looking for true evidence about this group. When we have it, we’ll make sure to shut them down.
But that’s not all that we have going on here:
I too have joined a secret society. I am part of the “Society of the Hood”. We rob from the rich to make ourselves rich. I am not our leader, but I was summoned by the Darkest Lord. The Darkest Lord stands to the top right of this picture. When you see the Darkest Lord, you may instantly feel fear, but we only call it that because it wears all black. We aren’t sure of the gender of our leader, we just do the thieving from the rich. It is a great career move for me, and I’m hoping for a more lucrative future. It’s hard trying to be diapers and milk for my daughter, so I figured this was the only way to supplement my income. Donations are also welcome. Just give me a call and I’d be more than happy to take your money.
Please remember that this is top secret, and that nobody is to know about my little “club”, it’s just between you and me.
Lastly, this picture was taken today at 2200 hours. Nobody knows what it is. Colonial Command reports that it may be a fluctuation in the space time continuum. It was supposed to be a picture of a crew, but we aren’t sure what it is really. As our scientists analyze this phenomenon, we do ask that all available crews report to Prometheus Station on a stand-by basis in case this really is a threat to Earth. Atlantis arrived in orbit yesterday, and is taking careful readings of the Colonial Command Center, Pleasant Grove location. It may be up to you to save the universe, so suit up, and bring your best problem solving skills to the Discovery Space Center.
See all of you in the trenches.
Bracken Funk, Something Important. DSC