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Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Battle Field Promotions and Brittney's Last Mission Recorded for Posterity.



"crackle. hiss. static...... static.......crackle"
[coming in soft, then louder] This is the BBC World Service.

London Calling.....
Today the forces of KAOS swept across the northern frontier breaking through the Imaginarium's defenses in several sectors. Imagination is in full retreat before Reason's Black Guard. The enemy grows in strength and momentum - hour by hour and day by day.

New Home Guard recruts await their medicals and orders.
The Minister of Defense explained, "Extreme times require extreme measures."

The Imaginarium's Home Guard has been mobilized. New recruits are gathering at the induction centers waiting for their medicals and orders. Many are still in their teens. The Ministry of Defense explains that extreme action is required if the enemy is to be stopped.

We have a reporter at the Induction Center. Our connection isn't without its problems so you may have to sit closer to your wireless to hear properly.

Margaret are you there? This is London calling.

[A woman's voice comes in over a field of static]
London, I'm here at the Imaginarium's Center Street Induction Center. I'm standing here in a hallway waiting for the doors to open and the selection process to begin.

[faint explosions are heard in the background].

Judging by the sounds of those explosions we must assume KAOS is getting closer. I believe all our listeners understand that if the Imaginarium falls so goes much of the world's joy.
Fighting to keep that from happening are these young people I'm standing with today. I'd like you to meet one of them. Her name is Emilie. Emilie, please come closer and let me ask you a question. Don't let this microphone scare you. Speak directly into it.

Emilie, you received your orders to report yesterday. What are your feelings at this moment?

"I'm ready. We're young but that won't stop us. There will be nothing left of Imagination by Christmas if we don't do something right now."

[shouts of "Here Here!" are heard from others. Then a powerful explosion. Uninterrupted static follows. Then complete signal loss]

It appears we've lost the signal from the Imaginarium. We will attempt to regain contact.


In other news, we have recently learned of new promotions and assignments. Field Marshall Parker presented the Voyager Award to Lt. Tanner.


Retired Field Marshall Brittney presented the Magellan Award to Lt. Tanner.


Supreme Commander Williamson presented a Year Service Pin to Private Morgan. Private Morgan will be promoted to the rank of Lt. She has been transferred to the Grand Army of the North to work with Field Marshall Casey Voeks.

[Pri. Morgan's voice] "Do I look like I'm afraid of KAOS? We've been fighting them since I can remember. I'm ready for this. Imagination will hold its own against Ignorance and apathy. I'm willing to put it on the line!"


Colonel Josh was promoted to Odyssey General by Field Marshall Grosland. With that promotion came a new uniform of navy blue. The Field Marshall then sharply saluted her new young general with the Odyssey's two armed salute. General Josh will be commanding the Odyssey Division under the Field Marshall. The Odyssey Division sees more fighting than any of the Imaginarium's other Divisions.


In other news, Andrew M. and Tanner C. were recently promoted to the rank of Supervisor Colonel by Marshalls Parker and VandeBoss. They will be assigned to the Voyager and Magellan Divisions. Both spontaneously peppered the audience with "Hurray's" accented with upstretched arms. Their celebratory gestures, while frowned upon by the Supreme Commander as an 'unnecessary display of emotion', were welcomed by the assembly.

With their promotions came new uniforms of royal blue. With the Royal Blue uniform comes authority over Black Shirt recruits. That authority was immediately seen in the faces of Andrew and Tanner. Both held their noses at a constant 45 degrees as they walked by the ranks of black shirts to return to their seats.


General Anderson presented Private Anderson with the Phoenix Award. She advances to the rank of Corporal.


This Phoenix Award was also given to Corporal Logan. Corporal Logan will not be assigned to the front just yet. He battles a nervous condition which beings his skin out in a rash and causes his index fingers to spams when facing stress (as seen in the photo above).

Because of his unbridled enthusiasm, Logan may be exempted and allowed to return to the fighting with his division with the condition that he not be issued a weapon if he is still suffering the index finger spasms.


The Supreme Commander was pleased to present the Ten Year Service Pin to Field Marshall Casey Voeks. Marshall Voeks commands the Grand Army of the North. He and several of his lieutenants visited Headquarters over the weekend for advanced training, a few hot meals and a little rest and relaxation. They took the Saturday afternoon train back to the northern front.


It is important to remember that we all must do our part, no matter how small, in this war against Ignorance. To end this broadcast I'd like you to hear the recorded words of a Mr. Matt Ricks. We found him cleaning the floors of the Induction Center. While unable to serve directly on the front lines due to his perfect score on the Enlistment Intelligence Survey, Matt still finds ways to help.

[Matt's voice] "I do what I can in my own very limited way to support the troops on the front lines. There are many people just like me who provide the support, ammunition and intelligence required to fight a modern war against these dark forces arrayed against us.

Is my contribution with the Intelligence Division any greater than the contribution made by the custodians who clean this building? I say no. To illustrate that point, I make it my policy to help with the cleaning whenever possible. I believe this sets the proper example to my other gifted friends. A bit of spit and polish never hurt anyone. If I can do it, then so can all the others with superior IQ's. Let's win this war and bring our troops home."


This has been a special bullitin from the World Service. Next on the wireless - dancing from the Apollo with the music of Conrad Philips and the Two Tones.

This is London.......

Brittney's Last Overnight Mission.

Brittney VandeBoss attends BYU. One day while dining at the Cougar Eat, Brittney heard rumors that the grass grew greener on the other side of the fence. She couldn't sleep for several nights, tossing and turning, haunted by the thought that working at the Space Center might not be the climax of her professional career. That is when she decided to mount a daring (some would say fool hearty) expedition over said fence to investigate the validity of those rumors.


With sled packed and gear checked and double checked, Brittney has ventured out on her own to find her destiny.

The Official Change of the Magellan Set Directorship.

This is a picture showing friendly chit chat between Brittney (the then Magellan Set Director) and Zac H. (the soon to be Magellan Set Director). Notice the microphone in her hand. She rolled the microphone over and over in her hand, almost hesitant to turn control of the Magellan over to this younger whipper snapper. Remember, at the Space Center Set Directorship is passed from old director to new director by the passing of the ship's microphone.

I stood with baited breath (refer to the picture above) , wondering if Brittney would actually go through with the hand off. Would she really go looking for greener grass, or would she come to realize that the Space Center was the pinnacle of everything anyone could ever possibly dream of professionally?


This is the picture of the actual moment the Magellan's microphone changing hands, and with it, Brittney's reign as Il Duce of the Magellan came to an end. She had made her bed and was going to sleep in it. The deed was done. The die was cast.
Zac was the new Magellan Set Director. He giggled with anticipation as his powers set in.

Zac Giggling with Anticipation as his Powers Set In. Brittney is lowering her
head in reverence to the new director.



Brittney did the deed. She'd given up the Magellan.
Remembering how other Space Center employees and volunteers had ventured over the fence to seek their fortune on uncharted Kentucky Bluegrass only to never to return again, I thought it best to have the ending of her last Overnight Camp Mission recorded for posterity.

Please forgive the filming. While quick with the microphone and wit, young Zac does struggle with even the simplest of electronic devices (hence the sideways filming at the end).

Have a great day!
Mr. W.

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