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Friday, April 23, 2010

A Bat in the Voyager's Belfry

THE ZOOLOGY PENS ARE NOTHING BUT A PROBLEM

I was sitting on the bridge of the Voyager, minding my own business when Brock Bodily walked up to me with some urgent information. I was trying to get my crew training.

“Bracken, you need to come downstairs now! I’ll get the trainers started, but you need to get there, now!”

I was a little surprised. I couldn’t tell what Brock was going for. Was this a joke? Was someone trying to play a game? I didn’t know. But something inside Brock’s eyes suggested fear... Was it?

I walked down the Voyager’s spiral stairs. I wondered what on Earth... Rather... in Space could be so important. I got to deck 2, muttering under my breath about what was going on, to find Spenser Dauwalder standing there with another volunteer, staring in the sink, giggling like a 2 year old.

“What’s the problem?” I asked, trying to be professional, and sound like Mr. Williamson.

“There’s like a frog in the sink,” Spenser replied

“A frog?!” I asked, walking over to the sink. I peered inside... But it wasn’t a frog... Not at all. It had claws for feet, and wing-like things on it’s back. It could only be one thing...

A BAT!!

Yes, in the Voyager’s sink was a baby bat. It was under a plate that had been left in there. He was attempting to crawl forward.

“Spenser,” I said, in the most condescending manner I could muster, “This isn’t a frog... This is a bat.”

And with that, Spenser screamed and ran away like a woman running from mice.

Zoology... That dang area of the Voyager that seems to have the shakiest forcefields in the universe. Security has been eluded for years. Even our best of security officers have struggled to stop the jail-breaking creatures from zoology. Yesterday was a dangerous day. Who knows- perhaps that bat was genetically engineered... A frog-bat. A bat that could not only fly, but jump strange distances, manufactured in our own zoology pen so that we could be more efficient with our “tools of torture” that Mr. Williamson often alludes to. Who knows how that bat got to our sink, but it was there...

So today folks. We announce that we are increasing our security measures. Our imagineering department is beginning a revamp of our zoology pen forcefields. Hopefully it will further contain the mutant bat-frogs.

In good faith

Bracken Funk
Creatorium Department
Christa McAullife Space Education Center

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