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Sunday, October 30, 2011

The Space Center Breakfast and Halloween. An Odd Sunday Assortment

Hello Troops,
I start with a random thought. Our calendar says that Sunday is the start of a new week. We all know the real truth, Sunday is really the last day of the week making Monday the start of a new week. I've got to go with my gut on this one folks. Ending with a Sunday and starting the week with a Monday makes sense. It feels right. So, which Roman Emperor eons ago made Sunday the start of the week? May he rot in his grave for this mental blemish on the world's calendar.

Next Sunday America returns to Standard Time. You get to move your clocks back one hour. For those of you who relish unconsciousness, you'll get your heart's desire with one extra hour of sleep. Switching to Standard Time is more of a nightmare for me. For the next several weeks I'll wake up at 4:00 P.M. instead of 5:00. I'll be back to normal come Christmas.

Mischief was played at the Space Center this weekend. Our new Magellan front piece backlit sign was damaged. One of the lights went out as well. This set piece was only a little over a week old.

The Voyager lost a couple switches from the engineering panel in Decontamination. This is a pain because losing switches requires editing the Engineering Reports printed for the Bridge Engineer during our Voyager missions.

I'm blaming the damage on a KAOS agent who I believe penetrated our defenses during the Overnight Camp disguised as overdressed 5th grader from Central Elementary.

Alfred Whomple. KAOS agent wanted for Mischief.

The photo above is from one of the Center's surveillance camera's capturing the face of Alfred Womple, a known KAOS infiltrator who knew very well the camera was on and pointing directly at him. Alfred was sitting on the steps of the gym right before the camp started wearing the true face of guilt.

What KAOS doesn't understand is that we know what they're up to. We know where they are headquartered (below) and will marshal our forces against them.

I know that if I say the word, hundreds if not thousands of our faithful Space Center fans and readers of The Troubadour will take up arms and march against KAOS, making the Occupy Wall Street movement look like a picnic with Grandma.

Space Center Kitchen Staff on Strike

Space Center Kitchen Staff Walk Out in Protest at Verbal Tongue Lashing from a Disgruntled Camper.

Every week at least three people in an Overnight Camp of 45 complain about the breakfast we serve on their camp survey form. They object to the donuts. They find the Gogurts unpalatable. Their delicate digestive systems have difficulty in processing the high fiber of the fresh fruit. Some of their harshest criticism is reserved for the Sunny Delight artificially flavored and colored Orange (in name only) juice.

An Unidentified Vocal Critic of the Space Center's Overnight Camp Breakfast. The verbal abuse he unleashed on our Kitchen Staff resulted in their walk out. He insisted on repeated helpings of better food and juice, threatening to expose the Center to the world for what it really was - Cheap on Food.
"How can I concentrate on defending the galaxy from the scourge of the Orion Pirates without something more substantial than this crap!" he said with such force the campers around him were baptised in spittle.

In our defense, I'd like to point out that the camps and private missions are the Space Center's only source of income. We do not receive a yearly budget from the school district. We could spend more money on breakfast but I think you know how we would offset the increase in the food budget..... Spot on - I'd have to raise prices.

Right now we charge $43.00 per person for an Overnight Camp. That's a steal when compared to the price other places charge for overnight camps. I could raise it to $50.00 a person and serve a full English Breakfast sure to delight our culinary critics; however not a good idea for the thousands that attend our camps looking for fun missions at a reasonable price, not exquisite Michelin Star cuisine.

The Dream Breakfast of Some of our Campers.

I'm working with a mediator from the Imaginarium's Office of Labor to bring our cafeteria staff back by this coming camp on Friday. If unlucky, we will be serving bread and water. It will be a dark day at the Space Center if it comes to that. There is however one single course of action left if negotiations fail. Aleta Clegg, our summer cafeteria manager and cook, office manager, curriculum writer and director of our Digitarium Planetarium may be willing to cross the picket lines and fix breakfast for our school year Overnight Campers. She isn't intimidated by our school year kitchen staff, nor is she frightened by their threats.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I think the Space Center would make an excellent TV reality show.

A Plea from Pleasant Grove's Police Department.

Pleasant Grove's Police Department knows how upset our town's children get when given something healthy in their trick or treat bags on Halloween. Last year five Pleasant Grove children were arrested for torching the car of a person who rewarded their heartfelt and enthusiastic "TRICK OR TREAT" with small boxes of raisins. The children were stupid enough to capture their TRICK on film.

"There are other ways to express outrage," the police chief said while making the rounds at the town's elementary schools. "Have you considered smashing pumpkins on driveways or soaping windows?"

"What would you do if someone gave you a toothbrush?" asked one Central Elementary School Sixth Grader.

The Chief thought long and hard then raised his forefinger. "That's unforgivable. You all call me if you get a toothbrush in your Halloween bag and I'll be down in a flash with my Tazer!"

Have a Happy and Safe Halloween!

Mr. W.

PS Thanks Bracken for the picture
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