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Sunday, June 24, 2012

My Sabbath Birthday Year. Don't Expect Much from Me. Be Warned!

Hello Troops,
I start this post by thanking everyone for the many kind birthday wishes and expressions of hope that I'll make it to 55.  My staff and volunteers at the Space Education Center were the first to remind me with cake, cookies and a nearly tone deaf song that another year has been added to the staggering digit used to describe the number of revolutions I've spent circling our sun on this blue marble in space. There were other messages of sympathy sent by my friends in the National Sarcastic Society.   Yea, like I need them too.....

My birthday fell on Sunday this year.  I call birthdays which land on Sundays my Sabbath Birthdays.  When you birthday falls on a Sunday you should proclaim to your friends, family and business associates that you are officially in your Sabbath Birthday year.  They should regarded you as "resting".

 Here are my plans for my Sabbath Birthday Year of Rest:

  • I'm considering changing my shaving routine from daily to weekly.  I think I'll do the same for showering, deodorizing, and brushing my teeth.
  • On your Sabbath Birthday it is totally permissible to wash clothes monthly.  No one will object to the smells if they understand it is your Sabbath Birthday Year.
  • I won't wash my car during this special year of rest.
  • I'll show up for work right when I'm suppose to and clock out a few minutes before I'm suppose to leave.  Employers are typically more tolerate of laziness during your Sabbath Birthday Year.  I have the Department of Labor's toll free phone on speed dial if my administrator gives me any guff.
  • I'll exert less.
  • I'll eat more.
  • Exercising is limited during your Sabbath Birthday Year.  Running, jogging, swimming, bicycling, etc. are all to be avoided.  How can you honor your year of rest if your heart is beating excessively and your sweat glands are sweating?   Elbow and hand exercises are allowed as you reach for food, scoop up food and deliver food into your mouth.
I'm in negotiations with our local Gas Station / Convienience Marts on the issuing of special Sabbath Birthday Year Cards entitling you to half price 32 or 44 ounce Gut Buster Sodas delivered to you as you fill your car.   I'm also preparing a letter to National Council of Churches seeking a special dispensation for all Sabbath Birthday Celebrants giving them one year off from all religious obligations.

Its a far shot, but I'm asking for an appointment with my United States Senator.  I  hope to persuade him to join my crusade by sponsoring a bill giving all Sabbath Birthday Celebrants one year off from Federal taxes.

To summarize, this is my Sabbath Birthday Year.  Expect nothing from me of consequence until June 24, 2013.

Thank you for understanding.

Mr. Williamson

And Now, to start my Year of Rest, I give you PICTURES with little commentary, as one would expect from a member of the Sabbath Birthday Congregation.         

 Megan Left.  Chelsea Right.  Shirt - Flight Directors.  Chelsea celebrates.  She fly Phoenix.  
Big Celebration.  Smiling not uncommon.  Chelsea work hard for this.  

Devin Left.  Bronson Right.  Bronson get Odyssey Pass.  He happy. Devin confused.  Can't remember Bronson's name.  Kept calling him "Yo Dude".   Bronson not happy.  Responds with
"Yo Rude!"

Devin left.  Nolan Right.  Nolan get Odyssey Pin.  "Yo Dude," Devin say.  Nolan confused. 
"Its Nolan," Nolan say.
"Chill," Devin respond.

Jon Left.  Joseph Right.  Joseph get Voyager Pin. Work hard for it.  Jon proud.  Joseph prouder.

Mr. Williamson left.  Allie right.  Allie get One Year Pin.  Allie tired.  Say, "Overworked and Underpaid!".
Everyone agree.  Throw shoes at Mr. Williamson.  Mr. Williamson run for library and lock door.  He come out someday.

And From the Imaginarium.  At the Imaginarium we celebrate the creations of Human Imagination.

Yes, I want!

I question everything I know because I can't remember anymore where I learned it.

Your Steam Punked Computer.  Tell me you wouldn't want one of these on your desk.

I didn't believe them when I was your age either. 
Go on, keep thinking everyone has your best interests at heart...... :) 

 My kind of Synagogue.

The Hobbits, playing in a town near you!

Descriptive Word Art found only at the Imaginarium...

The coolest Pens every created.   How could you ever go back to your Bic?

Star Wars University.

And from the Creepy Magazine Ads of Yesteryear......
Frankly, I may be mistaken, but I'd swear we've had these people's children at Camp this year....

What is this kid thinking?   Who enjoys their Orange Juice this much?

He shot his eye out, his mother's eye, his father's eye and his pastor's eye before the police arrived.
 We get the same look on the faces of our campers when we had them our toy phasers and say "Aliens".

I don't think I'd sleep well at night if she were in my home.  I'd keep a cross above the bed and wear garlic.  It wouldn't hurt to keep a wooden stake and hammer next to the bed - just in case.  I think we had her daughter at the Magellan Engineering Station two months ago.   

Ginger,      Of course.  That explains it  :)
"Gee mom, mushy spaghetti dumped on my plate for Sunday Dinner.  I couldn't think of anything I would rather have.  We love you mom!"

Yep, she's a meat eater.  I don't see a vegan lifestyle in her future, do you?

"I'll be eatin these here beans then I'll be a waitin cause we all know what's a comin after I eat these here beans." 

Is it me, or is she looking longingly at the sandwich or her mother's fingers?  Cannibalism has been known to spring up even the best of families.

Have a Great Week Troops!
Mr. W.
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