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Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Pippen is Watching You.

Pippen the Poo
We're on to you.......

Hello Troops,
Pippen the Poo was abandoned here years ago either by a young camper or a volunteer. Rumor has it that Pippen is responsible for several strange and weird occurrences at the Center, all of which happen after everyone leaves for the night.

For example, there are times I shut the Voyager down, lock all the doors and leave for the night only to come back the next morning and find one of the doors to the ship wide open - and there is no one around! How do you explain that? For awhile we comically blamed all ISO’s (Identified Strange Occurrences) on visits from ‘The Gods of Perikoi’. In light of this new evidence I believe a new explanation is in order.

I now believe Pippen is responsible. I don’t know how he reaches the door knobs. I don’t know how he gets food everywhere. I don’t know how he messes up the ships after everyone leaves or messes up uniforms and costumes that were suppose to be folded and/or hung up. I believe he is responsible for everything no one else will take responsibility for around here. Pippen is the answer to "I don't know who did it," another common phrase heard at the Center.

This picture was captured by an automatic camera in the Briefing Room a couple nights ago. How did Pippen get out of my desk drawer and onto my chair? I checked my computer’s history and discovered someone was looking into honey futures on the Chicago Mercantile Exchange around the same time the picture was taken. I guarantee you it wasn’t me.

Yes friends, we have a living breathing PooBear in our midst, a Star Trek lovin‘ PooBear. Keep your eye on this one. Approach with caution if you find him out of my desk. Don’t try to engage him in conversation. Pippen is a master of deception, capable of sitting and staring at one point for hours and hours without moving - giving the appearance of lifelessness.

Friends, we need to catch Pippen in the act. Only then will we be able to force him into talking. Only then can we force him into telling us about his clandestine underground organization of Poos and their accomplices - stuffed animals found in nearly every home worldwide. You may have one watching you right now as you read this post. If so, I suggest you turn its head toward the wall. We don’t what them to know we are on to their game. And, in the dark of night, if you hear the sound of shuffling fabric against your bedroom floor, then you know they are out and about, acting on the directions of some power greater than you.

More updates on Pippen to follow.

Mr. Williamson
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