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Friday, May 6, 2011

Oh the Humanity!

Hello Troops,
We are out of night light bulbs again. You'd think the world was coming to an end.

"Mr. Williamson, do we have any bulbs for the red rotating lights," a supervisor asked me as I sat at my desk a few minutes ago.

"Nope we're out," I answered. His face contorted. The look seemed panicked yet resigned to fate. Probably the same look the last Roman Emperor had on his face when he heard the sounds of the German barbarians ransacking Rome under his balcony window.

"I buy those bulbs all the time, what's happening to them?" I reminded more than questioned him.

"The staff leave them on after their landing parties. It's all their fault they keep burning out. Gosh! Geez! Darn It." Other words fought to find release but he held them at bay with tightened lips.

I took pen and pop up note in hand and wrote a note to myself reminding me to buy every night light bulb in the Lindon Walmart when I pick up donuts in the morning.

"I'll buy more in the morning."

"The morning?"

"Its that time of day when that bright shiny object in the sky rises above the mountains."

"What are we suppose to do about tonight?" His face turned crimson. "I have instructions to return with bulbs in hand. If I go back without them there is no telling what they'll do to me."

I took pen and pop up note in hand and wrote a note,
"Please excusing him from the beating he surely deserves for returning empty handed, but we don't have bulbs. I'll get them in the morning. P.S. leave his fingernails attached to his fingers. That punishment is leaving stains the custodian can't get out of the carpet."
He took the note and slithered away.

Moments later my attention was drawn to the fact that our Magic Medicine (M&M's) was in short supply.

"Where are the M&M's?" a young volunteers wearing one of our doctor's smocks asked while standing rather disappointingly over the empty desk drawer where the Space Center's Magic Medicine was kept.

"We're out." I answered.

"Out?" he replied.

"Out." I answered again.

"Is there another bag somewhere?"

"We're out."

"Totally out?"

"Completely and totally out."

"Maybe there are some in the candy cabinet?"

My patience evaporated with each question. Something had to be said.

"OK, you've got me. I keep a secret stash of M&M's that I never share with anybody in a secret locker at the end of the first grade hallway. There, my secret is out. You forced it out of me. I tell you what, If you can find the locker you can keep the entire bag. Go for it."
He scampered off leaving me alone with my music and my thoughts.

And so here we are in the throws of another overnight camp. It's a whirlwind around my desk. The buzz of children neck deep in over written melodrama permeates the air with sight and sound.

How has your Friday been?

Mr. W.
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