I know many of you are always on the look out for a good cause to rally behind. I think I may have found one for you. Isn't it time we did something about underage driving?
Is your neighborhood like mine, besieged by mini road warriors driving their plastic vehicles while wearing nothing more than disposable diapers? They've taken the streets from us, making driving hazardous because you never know when they'll appear from behind a a parked car and dart in front of you in a harrowing game of chicken, pitting my 15 ton Lincoln Battlestar against their ten pound Fisher Price Chopper.
Larry "Dimples" Mulligan, The Terror of Tree Lane. If he doesn't drive you off the street with his Big Wheel, he will get you between the eyes with his Red Ryder Double Barrel BB Gun.
Join our cause. Put these hardened pre Juvenile delinquents back into their cribs where they belong. Lets take back our streets!