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Thursday, August 18, 2011

The Teacher's Meet and the Super Overnight

Just us waiting for the Meeting to start. Most just wanted to get back to their schools.
Others were patient, knowing donuts and gallons of Diet Coke waited for them in the
mingling and 'get to know you' sessions afterwords

Earlier today (Friday) all Alpine District Employees met at UVU for a good ole time revival! There was plenty of hand clapping, testifying, back slapping, horn tooten and song singing. It was the old time religion. Souls were saved from summer's slothfulness. Regretfully no healings were witnessed, but there are nine months to go.

I felt sorry for the hundred or so high school students assigned to greet us along the sidewalks leading to the revival. They were under orders to clap for the hour or so it took all of us to get off our buses and into the meeting. Many were kind enough to shout positive platitudes. I thought it strange, considering we are the ones hired to shackle their bodies and minds to the state core curriculum for the next nine months. It reminded me of Tudor England, when it was customary for the person having his or her head cut off to pay the executioner a few pieces of silver to ensure a clean, sharp swing of the blade.

I thought it best not to return their smiles. Instead I mustered my best condescending teacher face to remind them of who they were really cheering for. That sobered several of them, casting a dark gloom over our entrance until I was well out of sight.

Central's teachers, along with the troubled staffs from a few other schools, were assigned the nose bleed section of the venue, far out of the camera's gaze, . Our gum chewing, unshaven faces, cussing and untucked shirts were noticed by those closest to us. Their stares were met with excellently aimed spit balls. There is no saving us. We climbed the mountain. We saw the promised land, and then decided to have a sit down and nap.

Mrs. Abigail Timms receiving forgiveness for spending her entire summer doing nothing classroom related,no inservice classes, no extra reading, and no university courses. She even bypassed her grade level's correlation bonus days. "The Summer's idleness be GONE FROM YOU!" the administrator shouted.
She fell backwards, felt the call, and ran around the congregation four times shouting, "The fire is in my heart!" while waving a white handkerchief high over her head as a sign of surrender and rebirth. Many "Hallelujahs" followed.

It's getting late here at the Space Center. We are in the middle of our last Super Overnight Camp of the Summer Season. The halls are darkened and layed out for awesome away teams. Emily and her staff have things in control, giving me the chance to lay down in the Magellan and rest my eyes for a moment before putting the campers to bed.
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